Post your * jokes here!

[Rocknrule]

Heres one of mine from a little while ago:

John Kerry, Joe Lieberman, and George W. Bush all die and go to heaven. As they stand before the throne of the Almighty, He tells them "Before I let you into heaven, I need you to tell me what you believe in."
Kerry says, "I believe in fighting a smarter war on terror"

Lieberman says, "I believe war is good but violent videogames and movies are bad"

And Bush says, "I believe you're sitting in my seat"

[Richard Steele]

1. My latest favorite was conceived by DUer 'Tummler'

[TechBear_Seattle]

2. A neo-con is in a traffic accident while in Europe...

... and wakes to find himself lying on a bed wearing a hospital gown. He calls for a nurse, who comes in smiling.

"Good afternoon," she says in English. "Glad to see you are awake."

"How did you know I spoke English?" he asks.

"Once we saw your tattoos, we not only knew that you were an American, we knew that you were a member of the Republican Party."

The neo-con looked uncomfortable. "Oh? How could you tell that?"

"Well, on your right bum cheek, you have a tattoo of the American flag and the words, 'Love it or else.' And on your left bum cheek, you have a tattoo of a gun with the words, 'Only from my cold, dead hand.' And right in between you have a tattoo of your President."