Outsourcing Bush(funny!)

[undergroundpanther]

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to India as of May 1, 2006.

The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary
and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead
the office has incurred during the last 5 years.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be
significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds, with
the aid of the Government Accountability Office, has studied outsourcing of
American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on
the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination.

Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime. Gurvinder
Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming the office
of President as of March 1st. Mr Singh was born in the United States while
his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him
eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month,
but
with no health coverage or other benefits.


It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few
office
of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my
day job at the American Express call center," state Mr. Singh in an
exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I
would be
President someday."

A congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully
aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should
not be a problem, since Bush was not familiar with the issues either. Mr.
Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond
effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he
can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying
issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson.
"President Bush has used them successfully for years." Mr. Singh may have
problems
with the Texas draw, but lately Bush has abandoned the "down home"
persona in his effort to appear intelligent and on top of the Katrina
situation.

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final
day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible
for $240 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately, he will not be
eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the
allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc.
to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition.
According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulty securing a new
position due to limited practical work experience. A Greeter position at
Wal-Mart
was suggested due to Bush's extensive shaking hands with a phony smile.

Another possibility is Bush's re-enlistment in the Texas Air National
Guard. His prior records are conspicuously vague but should he choose this
option, he would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a month before being
sent
to Iraq, a country he has visited.

"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained
invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to Baghdad Airport's
terminal and gift shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Fallujah say Mr. Bush would receive a warm
reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with details of
his
arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.

Bwahahahaha!!!

[Christa]

1. We can only dream

thank you - this was hilarious :toast: