My mother wanted to watch the idiot talk about immigration.

[Plaid Adder]

And because she's not well and it was Mother's Day yesterday, here we all sit, listening to Bush talk about "catch and release." He sure does like fishing.

So, OK. We're going to:

1) Send 6,000 guard troops to the Mexico border.
2) Build super-high-tech smart fences and send up unmanned drones (with machine guns, maybe?) that will keep the immigrants out.
3) Meanwhile, we're going to set up a program to allow workers in on a temporary permit which will require the workers who get it to return to their country of origin after it runs out.
4) Also, we're not going to give legal immigrants amnesty.
5) Unless they've been here a long time and have kids.
6) But even then they'll have to pay "a meaningful penalty."
7) And they all have to learn to speak English.

All right, I'm just going to quit right now. What the hell right does he have to preach to other people about speaking English? He does more damage to the English language every time he opens his mouth than bilingual education ever could.

This speech is about what I thought it was going to be: throwing bones to all the different factions in the Republican party in the hope that people will settle down and chew them and not notice that all this bone-flinging does not add up to a coherent--

oh for Christ's sake, here comes the anecdote.

Oh my God he's FINALLY done.

Oh my God NO! It's the CNN analysis! It's Wolf Blitzer! Is this...is this...THE SITUATION ROOM? AAAAAGH!!!

So, let's see what the takeaway is here:

If you came over 20 years ago, joined the army, got shot up in Iraq, and happened to be convalescing in Walter Reed the day the President came by for a photo-op, then you can become a citizen. But that's not amnesty, that's just a heartwarming anecdote. Also, if you are a sympathetic family-values type, you can become a citizen after paying a meaningful penalty. But that's not amnesty. Otherwise, we're happy to bring you in and squeeze some low-paid labor out of you and then shove you back over the border once we're done with you. But that's totally different from this "catch and release" thing. Cause, see, when you arrest someone and set them a trial date and then let them out and just hope they show up, that's stupid. But when you bring someone into the country on a temporary worker's permit and then just hope they leave when they're time's up, that's a cunning plan. Also everyone needs to learn to speak English, just like I don't really.

Oh, also, we're sending 6,000 National Guard troops to the border and we want all immigrants to carry a national ID card. But that doesn't mean we're militarizing the border. Cause if we were militarizing the border, we'd, uh, put military troops there, and everyone knows the National Guard aren't military troops, cause otherwise, we'd be winning the war in Iraq!

OK, just forget all that. Fences! Hi-tech, robotic, artifically-intelligent fences that'll jump right out of the ground, chase those border-hoppping migrants, knock 'em to the ground and hogtie 'em, all for just pennies a day!

ARGH,

The Plaid Adder

[NJ_Lib]

1. Hope your mother feels better soon and by the way...

... you're a good daughter...

[NC_Nurse]

2. A great summary!

I enjoyed that much more than watching the asshat. Thanks you! :D

[babylonsister]

3. Love your perspective, PA! Thanks! Hope Mom feels better. nt

[patrice]

4. Jobs?

Maybe Americans don't do immigrant Farm Workers' jobs because we're so urban, we don't live in the country where the farm work is. And what farms we have are factories. Maybe there should be Public Farms to make voluntary productive work for people on assistance. They could live and work on pulic truck farms - State Greens Grocers. Local fruits and vegetables.

Also: It isn't as though you can say "middle-class Americans don't mow the lawn, nor deliver the morning paper, or work at Target . . . or McDonalds" - ? - of course they do, so I think this issue could be a "red herring".

On Edit: Except to high tech workers/contractors.

[MichiganVote]

5. Wow! I think I actually get it now! Thanks, its all stupid same as before

Now it makes sense!

[durrrty libby]

6. " heartwarming anecdote. "

Bawhahaha

Great summary.

I really need you people when he's on. I just can't go through it alone.

[Change has come]

7. I'll remember this part

(We cannot build a unified country by inciting people to anger, or playing on anyone’s fears, or exploiting the issue of immigration for political gain. We must always remember that real lives will be affected by our debates and decisions, and that every human being has dignity and value)

When they roll out the Gay marriage/adoption(wedge)issue later this summer. How will * explain an illegal immigrants rights are more important than mine?