Is Teen Sex Bad?

[MountainLaurel]

Can't wait for the whackjobs to come out of the woodwork on this one.

This is part of a collection of relevant articles today. Be sure to check them all out!

In our bicultural household -- I am American, my husband is Swedish -- we are trying to raise our children with the language, cultures and values of both countries. In most cases this isn't difficult. In one area, however, our values differ widely: My husband, reflecting the predominant view in Sweden and much of Western Europe, thinks sex is a normal part of adolescent development. Like many in this country, I disagree, believing it's better for teens to wait -- if not until marriage, at least until they are in an adult, loving relationship.

As a health journalist, I wondered if one way of thinking is demonstrably healthier, physically and psychologically. I resolved to find out.

Among the findings that surprised me: Although prevalent attitudes on teen sex differ in Western Europe and the United States, the views of leading researchers and doctors on both sides of the Atlantic do not. Their opinions lean much closer to the European model. They tend to agree that the mixed message America sends to teens about sex -- authorities say "don't" while mass media screams "What are you waiting for?"-- endanger our children.

The outcome? Levels of teen sexual activity look remarkably similar here and abroad, but U.S. rates of teen pregnancy, childbirth, abortion and sexually transmitted diseases are among the highest of all industrialized nations, despite recent decreases. At left and right above, see brief accounts of how Western European and American perspectives compare.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/15/AR2006051500713.html

[TahitiNut]

1. I hear it's pretty good, actually.

:silly:

[Virginia Dare]

2. Some history and a prediction...

teen sex occurred at the beginning of mankind, and will be occurring at the end.

:smoke:

[endarkenment]

3. It was fair to great.

A little quick on the draw and a bit fumbly, but very exciting!

[MountainLaurel]

I should have known

:rofl:

I didn't even think of that interpretation of the headline.

[Big Kahuna]

4. NO SEX THREADS!

Oh, my virgin eyes! :o

[WinkyDink]

5. Not from what I recall. ;)

[FreakinDJ]

6. Just a little clumbsey

Some thing about "The older the violen the sweeter the tune"

[stop the bleeding]

7. depends on how you look at it

From an exciting pleasurable experience = good

From the perspective of experience what you know now vs what you thought you knew then = not so good

[FreakinDJ]

10. Would not the first time our Puritan views let us down

America was founded with Puritan religious views which much have the world had rejected. Why ? Because they are pretty much pure horse-patukie!

I taught my kids (because reality is you can't stop them) as long as they have respect and care for each other it is ok. My kids have grown to be well adjusted to life, and no cases of abortion, STDs, or teen pregnancy

[elf]

31. Bravo,

that's what we think is right and our kids raised in this way, turned out well adjusted responsible young adults!
We are Germans living here since ten years.

[Jane Austin]

8. IIRC,

It was wonderful!

[bloom]

9. I don't think it's enough

to post a graph of percentage of women who had sex in their teenage years.

While they are at it - they should ask if it was their choice. Some may answer in the affirmative - even though they were raped.

"Teenagers who have been raped or abused also experience higher rates of pregnancy — in a sample of 500 teen mothers, two-thirds had histories of sexual and physical abuse, primarily by adult men averaging age 27 (Males, 1993).

Among women younger than 18, the pregnancy rate among those with a partner who is six or more years older is 3.7 times as high as the rate among those whose partner is no more than two years older. Adolescent women with older partners also use contraception less frequently — one study found that 66 percent of those with a partner six or more years older had practiced contraception at last intercourse, compared with 78 percent of those with a partner within two years of their own age (Darroch et al., 1999).

Some states are enacting or more rigorously enforcing statutory rape laws to curb teenage pregnancy among women with older partners by deterring adult men from becoming sexually involved with minors."

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/files/portal/medicalinfo/teensexualhealth/fact-teen-pregnancy.xml


So while Europe may have more permissive attitudes (and better info on birth control) - they may also have lower rates of rape. Those don't necessarily correlate. Like if our rape culture society became more permissive - would there be less rape? I don't think so. There might be even more. I think we need to do something about the rape culture attitudes first.

[FreakinDJ]

12. GREAT I was waiting for you to say it was RAPE

Help, help, the sky is falling the sky is falling.

Talk about the politics of sex.

With complete disregard for the emotional well being of teenagers and young adults

[bloom]

15. And it figures that you would show up to deny it.

I didn't say all sex is rape.


It seems to me YOU are the one disregarding their emotional wellbeing if you don't care whether it was consensual or not. Or whether a lot of the rape and pregnancy is from adult men who should be finding similar age partners.

It's one thing to talk about sex between two 16 year olds. It's a different thing if you are talking about a 40 year old impregnating a 14 year old girl.

And anyone who wants to defend it can go to hell.

[FreakinDJ]

17. I know its difficult for you to stick to the subject - but

They were talking about 2 consenting teenagers - not pedophilia

Then you go into the whole rape issue. I know it is hard for you to believe but 2 consenting human beings can have gratuitous consensual sex with out it being rape.

Honestly some of that stuff perpetuates nurotic unstable human beings. People should be more concerned for the emotional wellbeing of their children rather then push failed politics

[bloom]

23. The graph associated with the story DID NOT ask the age of the partners

that the women had sex with.

It was a graph of % woman ages 20-24 who had sex in their teenage years.

YOU are just assuming that it is consensual sex with other teens. There is nothing to indicate that that is part of the question asked.

Rape and statutory rape and consensual sex with adult males would account for a lot of the pregnancies (if you bothered to read what I posted from PP) and may account for the difference between the US and Sweden if that is not the case there - that so many men are having sex with teenage girls.

If they aren't asking those questions in their study - then their study doesn't mean much.


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/graphic/2006/05/15/GR2006051500784.html

[BiggJawn]

26. And YOU are assuming it's Rape.

But your assumption carryies more weight than mine because it bestows victimhood on a group?

[Name removed]

29. Deleted message

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[Name removed]

38. Deleted message

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[Name removed]

44. Deleted message

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[Common Sense Party]

33. Would you count being raped as one of the times you had sex?

I would think that would be counted as a separate, tragic incident--a violent assault.

I don't think it would be lumped in together with all the other sexual experiences.

[FreakinDJ]

39. If it had political gain Sure she would

Its not about what is right or wrong, what is good for the childrens emotional growth, just what political gain she can extract from it

[Common Sense Party]

51. I just don't understand her (?) at all. We were talking about

teens having sex, not being raped.

I mean, I'm male, so it may be a bit different, but if I were ever sodomized/raped, I sure wouldn't count that as a sexual experience.

I don't have any idea how rape was brought into the discussion at all...and she's (?) not even responding to my question.

[BiggJawn]

21. I thought we *WERE* talking about "two 16 year-olds"

You're the one who brought up the topic of pedophilia.

I'm sure there's somebody out there with a MSW ticket just itching to inform those girls who say they liked it that they were actually raped.
You know, I got baggage from my past, too. The difference is that I'm seeking help for how it discolours the way I look at people...

[bloom]

24. There is nothing that indicates that in the graph

see my reply #23

[FreakinDJ]

40. Reminds me of Regan's "Just say NO" policy

Sure looks like another round of the Conservatives abstinence policies.

Sure your not a conservative religious right winger in disguise

[The Magistrate]

48. Clearly, Ma'am, What Needs To Be Known

Is the proportion of sexually active teenaged girls who are involved with males who are much older. It is pretty generally agreed sexual activity of that nature is problematic, and accounts for the bulk of poor outcomes from sexual activity by girls of that age. If such activity is a small proportion of the sexual activity involving girls of that age, then it cannot be used to declare the entirity of the phenomenon is a bad thing, but if it is a very high proportion of it, thrn it could be said to be pernicious.

One explaination for the differences in European rates of pregnancy may lie in the rates of contraceptive usage. As you have reported, this is very low here in activity between young girls and older males. This could very well be a result of the girls involved being poorly informed on the matter. It is quite possible that the rates of such activity elsewhere is about the same as here, but that the girls elsewhere are better informed, and hence more insistent on safe-guarding themselves and less easily imposed on by their partners of whatever age.

[Greyhound]

32. It occurs to me that most of the perversion of sex that is found

in amerika is a result of the societal repression of sex. In every country that endures a high rate of perversion you will find a very repressive attitude toward sex, the more repressed the more perverse.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

11. Not as good as it gets with experience and appreciation.

But, it sure as hell beat homework.

[Recursion]

13. From what I remember...

...there's a lot of fumbling with bra hooks which never seem to release, nervous laughter at awkward moments, worrying about your parents coming home early, and "ouch you're lying on my hair" moments. "Bad" may be too strong a word, but it's not as good as it gets.

[xchrom]

14. mine wasn't.

but i seduced someone much older than me for just that reason.

[chrisbur]

16. This is the post that Tweety will put up

as an example of crazed liberal blogs. Because of course everybody knows puberty is caused by Lucifer. But seriously, I always thought that teen sex was pretty good and I thought I would be a pretty easy going dad but now that my older daughter is approaching 14 my feelings are subtly changing. Yup, big hypocrite.

[endarkenment]

28. It is easier with boys

but I take every opportunity that presents itself to discuss in as much detail as they can take how a man-boy can be responsible when it comes to his sexuality. My approach has always been honesty and openness and tolerance. The idea that our hormonally challenged teens will somehow choose to not explore their sexuality is idiocy of the highest order. We should give them the knowledge and tools to do so safely and responsibly and share in their joy of learning to live in their new bodies. We are their guides in this stage of their lives, not their moral police.

[chrisbur]

37. Yea, I know you're right.

but my protective instincts are kicking into high gear. Don't get me wrong. We are NOT a repressed family. We talk about EVERYTHING.

Worrying about pregnancy or STDs is one thing but the whole ironic sexual repression thing in light of our innuendo obsessed popular culture is just creeping me out. I just don't want them to do anything they feel coerced into. It was really confusing for me in the late seventies, early eighties too.

[lindisfarne]

56. Pointless to worry. Concentrate on giving kids critical thinking skills

knowledge about birth control options (and permission to your female child's doctor to prescribe birth control without informing you, plus an allowance large enough to allow her to pay for BC prescriptions and condoms (STD prevention)) and high self esteem. Those should keep them from getting into situations which worry you.

[knitter4democracy]

18. It depends on the kid.

Some kids are able to handle it with grace and maturity, and some aren't.

My thing is that we need to make sure that kids know how our bodies work, how b.c. works and all the ways they need to be used, and make the right decision for themselves. It's their bodies, so it's their lives.

[jokerman93]

19. Naah.

I've always thought it was great fun. :hippie:

[Clark2008]

20. Probably for the boys, but not for the girls.

We don't start getting satisfied until the boys are older and slow down a little bit.

:evilgrin:

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

22. So true, LOL. Nicer when the learning curves catch up. :)

MKJ

[lindisfarne]

57. Perhaps the issue is not the learning curve, but rather, girls'

unwillingness to require that they be satisfied, as well as boys' lack of knowledge about how to accomplish this. Low Self-esteem of a girl who stays with anyone who isn't concerned with her needs may well be the issue, as may failure to teach males to think of their partner. Back in the early 1980s, my public high school had seniors attend a presentation (by an outside group) that dealt with the fact that sex should feel good and that you have the right to expect that, and they even provided information (somewhat indirectly and in a funny way) about how to accomplish making both you and your partner feel good.

[karlrschneider]

25. It's like pizza - when it's good, it's great,

when it's bad, it's still pretty good.

:evilgrin:

[GodlessBiker]

27. Not if it's done properly.

[Greyhound]

30. It is awkward, nervous, and brief, but no, it isn't bad.

The pseudo-religious, puritanical, psychotic, amerikan mythology surrounding sex is, however, disastrous.

[KittyWampus]

34. Teens CAN Learn To Channel Their Life Force Into Other Areas

and endeavors. Rather then spouting the bromide "Just Say No" to drugs or sex, it's more helpful to provide organized alternatives that teens WANT to participate in. Fine art, sports, performing arts etc. Whatever turns them on.

And as for the mixed media messages asking teens "what are you waiting for", perhaps its time for Americans to really demand more mature content. The way sex is portrayed is overly permisive and very infantile. And this goes for teens and adults.

A large number of Americans regard sex as first and foremost about personal gratification.

[treestar]

36. True enough. Sometimes it appears to me that American parents

are with their kids way too much. We went to school without our parents tagging along, could play games in the neighborhood without our parents. Now you see parents standing around at the bus stops.

Yet it disproportionaly falls off for teenagers, or so it seems. They are "big enough" not to have to be supervised.

There is a happy medium being violated here. Parents could spend more time with teens. They don't want to teens to look uncool and the teen wants to be with the other teens. Fine, take one of their friends along. It just appears as if many parents don't even talk to the teens nowadays. Not heart to heart talks. Just day to day conversation about anything.

[lindisfarne]

58. Sex is one of the most human of needs and the drive to have sex

is very strong in the teens - expecting most teens to channel this drive elsewhere is akin to sticking one's head in the sand. Even the most religious who took chastity vows ended up breaking them within a year (and then lying about that).

[treestar]

35. For American teenagers, they are not mature enough

It is more than they can handle emotionally, in general. It lowers their self esteem more often than not, probably. The girls, especially.

I think our culture makes light of sex to the point where it is little more than like going skiing with someone. Why not go skiing? Even the downsides like a broken leg don't quite so intimately affect your self esteem.

Not in a prudish way, but just in a quality way, our culture takes the romance away so entirely that there is nothing magic to it anymore. Just an observation rather than a condemnation. It rewards the least sensitive people, those with very thick skins are OK and do fine, but those who are at all sensitive or tentative in their self esteem are disproportionately harmed psychologically. That's all I'm saying. No wonder there are so many people on Prozac.

[lindisfarne]

59. Casual sex can be great, better than skiing. Even for teens. And

sex is not a cause of poor self esteem (Poor self esteem may lead someone to make bad choices for oneself, however). Be outraged that our culture fails to help children develop good self esteem, rather than our culture treats sex casually.

[patcox2]

41. Usually; you get much, much better at it with time.

My 40s have been the best so far, by far.

[phrenzy]

42. Why Can People NOT Distinguish Between Individual Teenagers?

I sure as hell know I was A LOT different than my teenage peers at 16. I was working, living on my own and not at all interested in 'normal' teen things.

Not saying I was MORE or LESS mature than any other given teenager, but it's clear to anybody who has known a variety of kids that some are simply more mature and able to handle things like sex than others. Hell, the same goes for adults!

[stanwyck]

43. what we told our twins

(boy and girl - now 22 yrs. old). Sex is adult behavior. If you consider yourself adult enough to engage, then you're adult enough for taking complete responsibility for your physical and emotional well-being, as well as that of your partner.
That means you're prepared for all consequences, including working full-time to support a child while foregoing the activities other people your age enjoy who do not have your reponsibilities.
Learn about protection. Don't rush into sexual activity. Make sure it's completely your choice and you are in control of your decision.
And come to me or your father with your concerns.
Too often, I think the physical aspects of sexual activity crowd out the emotional ones, which are also very difficult for many teenagers. Being physically ready doesn't necessarily mean being emotionally ready.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

45. I had sex as a teen.

I enjoyed sex as a teen.

If some busybody had come up to me all those years ago and told me it was bad, I'd have told him to fuck off and mind his own business.

I don't think I've changed my mind.

[lindisfarne]

60. 100% in agreement. n/t

[noonwitch]

46. They should wait, but it's normal for them to be interested

I don't think it's good for people under 18 to be having sex, for a lot of reasons. This is what I told my cousin when she became sexually active at age 14 and called me to brag about it (I was in my early 30s at the time).

I told her that she was too young to be handling the emotional issues that go along with sex, and the repercussions of it on her reputation. I asked her if she planned on being with this guy until she graduated, she said no. I told her that the minute they break up, he will tell all the other boys that they had sex, if he hasn't already. At that point, all the other boys will want to date her-not because she's cute, not because she's smart, not because she has a great personality, but only because she puts out.

I also told her that when you are 14, dating should be about getting to know each other and doing things you enjoy, like going to movies, dancing, going to high school sporting events, etc. Kissing and necking should be as far as it goes. If you start having sex with your boyfriend, that will be all your relationship will be about-sneaking around behind your parents' backs and having sex.

[lindisfarne]

61. Do you believe that all people who have sex should be with the

partner for at least 4 years? If not, why would you ask that of your cousin? Maybe her parents, rather than her, deserve the responsibility for the "sneaking around the back" behavior - had her parents created a family open to discussion, she might feel comfortable telling them. How is 18 the magical point of being ready for sex? Some are ready at 14; others aren't ready until 23.

As to what the boy will tell others: it depends on the boy. (And our society's perverted attitude toward sex in general probably promotes such "telling others" behavior. French teens I worked with one summer thought it would be very strange for other teens to do this - they didn't think it would improve someone's social standing; instead, it would likely lower it.)

[anarch]

47. I believe in making the world safe for our children,

but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

- Jack Handey

[gatorboy]

49. When I was a teen, sex was great!

A little quick though. :P

And it didn't do my grades any favors....

[progressivebydesign]

50. Here's what I told my stepdaughters...

If you're not comfortable discussing methods of birth control AND preventing STDs with a boyfriend, then you are not ready for sex. If you are not totally comfortable with someone seeing you naked (doesn't count if you think your thighs are fat or something self-concious), then you are not ready for sex. If you are not ready to have a baby, not ready to support it and care for it, then you are not ready for sex, because there is no 100% reliable birth control. And.. you had better be prepared to raise a child with the person you're sleeping with... or share custody for 18 years, because in most states you can be forced to have that child if the father disagrees with an abortion or adoption.

We talk about what they'd miss out on if they became teen mothers... and they see the young girls walking down the street with baby strollers, and make comments about how sad it would be to be a mother at that age. My older stepdaughter waited until she was in her early 20s and in a secure relationship... and the younger one (who doesn't like children much), seems to be following in her footsteps.

We also discuss the hyper-sexualized images and media they deal with on a day to day basis, and how it's a mixed message. We've talked about kids who are in their school who are already sexually active, and how badly that turns out for ALL OF THEM, because they usually suffer when their relationships break up suddenly (as they usually do in high school). ALL you can do is talk to your kids, all the time, not preach.. but talk, and discuss why it's a bad idea. Hey.. I've told them both.. yeah, it's fun, but it's like riding a roller coaster, fun for a little while but eventually you have to leave the amusment park and get back to real life. And just like an amusement park ride, it's not worth trashing your entire future for a few minutes of fun (and there's no guarantee it would be fun, either).

The US media image of teen sex is that its some grand passionate affair.. it's not. They're just selling jeans and makeup and making teens feel like they have to be sex goddesses at 16. In reality it's awkward, and embarrassing, and distracting from school work, and can devastate you socially when your forever love doesn't even last a semester, and you're left pregnant or hurt.

[lindisfarne]

62. This isn't true: "because in most states you can be forced to have that

child if the father disagrees with an abortion or adoption."
Make sure the information you provide to minors is as accurate as can be - otherwise, they'll stop trusting you or even worse, start thinking you're lying to them.

[slide to the left]

52. I have an opinion...

After the first few times, it becomes less exciting. Let them haver sex, let her figure out he is a jerk,and she will be more careful the next time. The emotional pain of being talked into sex rather than just consenting is rough. I think girls should feel okay about choosing to have sex. Then it gives them the control and not the guys that just want to get some.

A lot of the emotions that girls cannot handle well stems from guilt. We place to much emphasis on virginity. I was always told it was the best gift that i could give my husband. I think my love is...

If a girl chooses to give up her virginity rather then being talked into it, there should be no guilt.

</rant>

[BlooInBloo]

53. I didn't get any, so YES!!! lolol

[Spinoza]

54. That depends

whether or not you are a teenager.

[madmusic]

55. More

The article that article links to is more comprehensive:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/15/AR2006051500809.html

The mixed message in the States, and the resulting confusion and potential harm to a healthy sexual attitude is easy to see when Bill O'Reilly reports on sex. He will have erotic background images, of topless dancers, for example, and condemn them at the same time. After long enough to keep the ratings up, he says something like, "All right. That's enough. We don't need to see those sick pictures."

What kind of message is that?