Another Fund Drive? Where Did All The Money Go? (Answer: Programmer Chow)

[Skinner]

Sometimes it seems like Democratic Underground is asking for money all the time. Wasn't it just yesterday that we were passing out Valentine's hearts like third graders on a sugar high? Believe it or not, it's been three months, which means it's time for us to fill up our coffers again.

With this in mind, we have attached a brief list (below) of some of our monthly expenses. I am sure you will agree that that our spending is both modest and responsible for an extremely popular, high-traffic website such as this.

We hope that you will take a moment to donate right now. We accept online donations by credit card and PayPal, and we accept donations by mail with a check or money order. And yes, we even accept payment in Programmer Chow (Vegan Formula only, please).


Selected Monthly Expenses for Democratic Underground

$   250.00   Care and feeding for gerbils that run on the little rodent wheels that power our web servers.

$   850.00   Presidential criticism tax (a little-noticed legal provision buried deep inside the PATRIOT Act).

$ 3,850.00   Three weeks of rehab to help EarlG kick his debilitating chamomile tea addiction.

$   100.00   Phone taps.

$    50.00   Electric sheep for GrovelBot's sleep subroutine.

$ 1,700.00   State-of-the-art Artificial Intelligence "chat bot" programs to give the appearance that Democratic Underground has actual visitors.

$   300.00   Royalties to "Get a Brain! Morans" guy for use of his photograph.

$ 1,500.00   Slush fund.

$ 5,299.00   "Dragon Skin" Body Armor (with optional face guard) for Skinner's hunting trip with Vice President.

$10,000.00   Hush money for former interns.

$     7.50   Duct tape and chewing gum to fix General Discussion forum whenever it breaks.

$52,000.00   Bribes for Randy "Duke" Cunningham.

$   525.00   Trained monkeys with typewriters to write Top 10 Conservative Idiots.

$   150.00   Lock box.

$ 9,750.00   Annual all-expenses-paid golf junket to St. Andrews, Scotland, for DU Admins and Tom DeLay.

$   225.00   Routine maintenance for Moderator Hot Tub.

$   800.00   Bartender(s) to serve Piña Coladas, Mai Tais, and Strawberry Daiquiris at Friday afternoon Moderator Hot Tub parties (not including tips, which come from the slush fund).

$    50.00   Bush-to-English translating services.

$   950.00   Satin dog bed, "Shiatsu massage" grooming services, and three daily meals of 100% pure aged Japanese grass-fed Kobe beef (seared to perfection by private chef) for Romeo, Skinner's toy chihuahua.

$    89.99   Programmer Chow for Elad (Vegan Formula).

But seriously...

It actually is extremely expensive to run this website, and we do our best to keep our costs as low as possible. Currently, each month we spend approximately $4,500 on web servers and bandwidth (extremely reasonable for a database-driven website that does well over a million pageviews a day), $10,000 on salaries for three admins (divide that number by three: our salaries are well below average for computer professionals), $900 for rent for a one-room office, and an additional $2,000 or so on miscellaneous expenses (computer hardware & software, letterhead & postage for thank-yous, cell phones, lawyer, accountant, high-speed Internet connection, etc.).

We depend on the voluntary donations of DU members to help keep this place going. In exchange for your donation you get the satisfaction of knowing you're helping out a good cause, you get a donor star and access to donor features, and during this fund drive for every $10 you donate you get to post a sticky on GrovelBot's Big Board.

It only takes a minute, and it'll make you feel good. Please take a moment to donate right now.

Thank you so much for your support.

Skinner
DU Admin

[BlueEyedSon]

1. No wonder! That "vegan formula" is such a rip-off!

[Gormy Cuss]

2. Here I thought the costs were soaring because of the

brazillion kudzu postings.

[diamondsndust]

7. 8 out of 10 cannibals prefer vegans (Tastes Great!).....

.... and they don't eat clowns because they taste funny

[orleans]

71. hahahaha! n/t

[LeftyMom]

12. Yeah! Somebody feed him some real food!

Once he gets some protein in his diet he'll have more energy and we can have a really nice site


:rofl:


like


:rofl:


the


:rofl: :rofl:


freepers! :rofl:


Sorry, I couldn't even type it with a straight face. :D

[sinkingfeeling]

3. I gave you some dough because I want to see the gerbils replaced

with guinea pigs!

[azurnoir]

50. Basilisks thats the way to go

they run faster and can regrow their own parts should you grab them wrong way and they eat bugs (not implying anything)) so depending on what city (New York, Minneapolis) your in they can be self-substaining too.

[XemaSab]

4. I'm far more interested in what the hell RimJob spends HIS donations on

:shrug:




















No, seriesly, you guys are doing a great job. :pals:

[matcom]

5. you forgot my $75 fee for posting sex threads in the Lounge

to keep your moderators 'highly trained locking machines' per your request

:hide:

[wakeme2008]

6. 225.00 Routine maintenance for Moderator Hot Tub

Do not want to go there..... :rofl:

[RubyDuby in GA]

39. Seriously - money well spent. Dig deep people and give 'til it hurts!

:)

[Hugin]

8. Is there any truth to the rumor the "Trained Monkeys" are unionizing?

How will that affect the cost of operations?

[Richard Steele]

24. If their contract gives them access to that hot tub...

...I'm guessing routine maintenence costs
will skyrocket.
Monkeyfur is HELL on the filters!

[Tin Man]

9. A great site that keeps getting better - thanks guys!

DU - a bargain at any price!

[hunter]

10. I'm very much impressed.

You got State-of-the-art Artificial Intelligence "chat bot" programs to run on gerbil powered servers.

How'd you do that?

[Hugin]

11. Having the premier Democratic Forum Website available: PRICELESS.

[shaniqua6392]

13. Thank you to everyone at DU!

I am happy to be here and happy to help keep it going.

[johnnie]

14. You forgot to put the sarcasm thingie in there

I bet some people over at other places are falling over themselves to report where the really money goes. "Omg omg...this is hugh!!1!!!1!"

[tandot]

15. Only $50 for Bush-to-English translating services??? That must be a typo

[johnnie]

17. You have to remember his limited vocabulary

Terra
911
Tourists
Purty
deshider
Terra
hee hee
werk
nookler
Terra

[madokie]

16. you will hear no complaints from me. I see it as money well spent

[wake.up.america]

19. No complaints from me. I really should stuff a dollar or two into an..

envelope and spend almost a dollar to mail it.

My travel business is getting battered by the dollar-euro rate

[Kurovski]

18. GrovelBot deserves the very best!

[SharonRB]

20. LOL

:rofl:

These are a riot, Skinner.

And, how do we get to post stickys if we already have an ongoing monthly subscription?

[Skinner]

21. Send me a PM.

We can probably make some accomodation for you, and for other interested subscribers.

[Renew Deal]

22. Pictures from the Moderator Hot Tub

Skinner, shave the beard!


Activists to the core


Mods gone wild

[Stinky The Clown]

23. What a gawdam ripoff ..... jeeez ..... you guys are ........

.... payin that moran moran tree bigbux a month and no one even uses dat pitcher any more.

I bin robbed.

[Nothing Without Hope]

25. That "get a brain, morans" guy deserves every cent of his royalties.

Actually, he is a Buddhist vegan genius progressive who put on that disguise and spent much effort in designing that cleverly deceptive sign to give us an iconic image of a Bush supporter.

:evilgrin:

[Kurovski]

26. "Operation Backwash", liberal psy-ops!

You were not to speak of this in anything but code! :rofl:

Now you've caused another "Plamesque" scandal. :spank:

[Nothing Without Hope]

31. You think THAT's a scandal, check out Reply #29!

:evilgrin:

[Kurovski]

38. Oh, that's just par for the course in DC.

Skinner was hoping to infiltrate the White House Press Corps, ala Jeff Gannon. :evilgrin:

[OzarkDem]

27. Hilarious!

Please apply my donation to the Presidential criticism tax. I'm sure I've run up the POTUS criticism meter quite a bit here on DU.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

28. My dear Skinner!

You are soooo funny! Thank you for the much-needed laugh today.....

But seriously, thank you for all you do....

This website is my second home, as you may already know...

I am proud to be a part of it.

:yourock:

[Nothing Without Hope]

29. That Skinner will do anything - here he is giving "oral favors" to Bush!

With thanks and a smile to LynneSin who captured this blackmail material for the ages at a DU getogether in fall 2005:

DU thread where it was posted:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4071213

[benburch]

30. That was funny!

:-)

[Triana]

32. I already donated even though I'm broke...

...give Romeo a little pet for me. Give yourself one too. ;)

We have a carnivore compound here with a 400-600 lb tiger named Romeo. Think your Romeo can take on our Romeo? :evilgrin:

Just kidding!!

Thanks, Skinner AND the blissfully honeymooning EarlG for DU! This place rawks.

[4_TN_TITANS]

36. the blissfully honeymooning Elad?

I thought that was EarlG... :shrug:

p.s. thanks guys, will donate at the end of the week...

[Triana]

43. Ok. I edited it. Sorry!

Been a looooong day and me head is a tad frazzled. Apologies.

[texasleo]

33. vBulletin

;-)

[madrchsod]

34. i knew it !!

i said along time ago this site was run by squirrels but i was wrong and it is far worse...poor little furry gerbils. that`s it i`m calling peta!

[Coexist]

35. Thanks for the great site.

[carolinalady]

37. Thanks for posting the money breakdown. I have been curious

about it for a while. K

[wryter2000]

40. Whew

For a minute there, I thought you were paying some guy Chow a lot of money to do the programming.

[mwooldri]

41. Come on you foreigners! Give up your Yen, you Euro, your ...

... whatever it is you have... Yuan is welcome too.

Serious point: I can as a non-US citizen contribute to DU (I can't afford to until next payday I'm afraid) because it is a company.I can't contribute to a political campaign, because there's some law against them accepting my cash. Oh well...

Mark.

[Skinner]

42. Yes, non-US citizens can donate to DU.

We are a for-profit company.

[Laurab]

44. That list alone makes me want to donate again

The first one, I mean - the second list was boring!

Skinner, you're a great writer - and a funny one!

[Left Coast Lynn]

45. Freepers are impressed

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/1633251/posts?page=9

What morons.

[Debi]

46. Now THAT'S funny!

Skinner and his two volunteers! :rofl:

[no name no slogan]

47. *ahem* I believe the term is "morans"

[Rude Horner]

48. I find it hilarious

that they (Freepers) can make fun of this fund drive and where the money goes, when OBVIOUSLY a good portion of the money we donate here is put into the website to make it better. The morans over there donate to FR and the site NEVER frickin' changes!! What would be REALLY interesting is to find out where the money donated to FR goes! It sure isn't on website development. Me thinks they should look in a mirror on this issue.

btw - as a computer professional I can attest to the fact that 10,000 per month between three admins is on the low end. Especially in the D.C. area, I imagine. If they were in it for the money, they could go elsewhere and get better paying jobs, with the talent these guys have. My guess is that DU is a labor of love with them, and it shows. Thank you Skinner, EarlG, and Elad. Your hard work shows everyday.

[CottonBear]

52. Most of the Freepers think that Skinner gets all of the salary.

The idiots simply choose NOT to read the part of Skinner's post where he states that the 10K per month is for three salaries.

The freeper site "design" is simply awful. It is amazing in that it hasn't changed in years. Going there is like going back in time to a primitive era. *shudder*

DU rocks and so do Skinner, EarlG and Elad! :)

[President Kerry]

57. FR website blows and they know it. God-awful design, almost as

bad as their puke-inducing content. It's barely fit for an elementary school basic HTML project. Nice job, Skinner!

[I Have A Dream]

59. I agree 100%. They deserve to be paid better for the work that...

they do. They've given us a wonderful web site! It's really, really well designed and user friendly.

[Boomer]

61. Ain't that the truth

>> 10,000 per month between three admins <<

Agreed - that is a modest salary for the location and profession (speaking as a programmer on the fringes of the DC metro area). But I'm relieved to hear that at least it's a livable salary. A site (and service) of this quality deserves a decent renumeration.

Thanks, Admins!

[alarimer]

62. Clearly the owners of that site spend their money on hookers

and beer because the site is unreadable. Not that I want to read it but still.

[dalaigh lllama]

67. Well, now you've done it

You made me go there and look, and here's what I found.

A profound sig line:
Those who advocate, and act to promote, victory by Democrats are not conservatives.

A math and/or reading challenged freeper:
If Skinner makes $120K, JimRob should get millions!

An about-to-be-tombstoned member:
(Referring to Alexa graph showing more "hits" at freeperville than DU) Stop posting that. All it says is there are more idiots who willingly give away their browsing information, web privacy and RAM that visit FR than that visit DU!



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[mcscajun]

69. Indeed. Most DUers are sufficiently PC-literate to run anti-spyware

so that Alexa doesn't KNOW about us.

FReepers - Morans. :)

[Blue_Roses]

49. LOL!

Those are great! I'll be sending my snail mail this time.:)

[SeattleGirl]

51. Un, Skinner, I think you should increase the funds or the Bush-to-

English translation! :P

Seriously, though, thanks for posting the expense info. I happily donate to DU, because it's such an important site, and so many of the folks on the board have come to mean a lot to me. Many thanks to you, Elad, and EarlG for this fabulous place!

:toast:

[Autonomy]

53. Budget request:

Please allocate funds for the programming of a female companion chat-bot for the Autonomy AI chat-bot. Her logic need not be logical, and her artificial intelligence need not be all that intelligent, as long as she puts out.

Data. Puts out data. Yeah, that's what I meant.

Thank you.

[newyawker99]

54. ....

:kick:

[NNN0LHI]

55. I thought it came up kind of quick. DU is still the best bargain on the web

There is no doubt about that. Thank all you guys for everything you do for us.

I don't know how you do it. I am serious. I would have lost my mind long ago.

You are the best and your heart is in the right place too.

Don

[unhappycamper]

56. I think you should seek funds to upgrade the Mod Hot Tub.

Granted, the recent upgrade was considered a success by all concerned, but geeeze......



on edit: correct Engrish

[northofdenali]

58. I can donate the duct tape for GD, we'll cut down on that expense

phone tap fund, especially if you've got Congress on it. Oh, and here's the sheep for GrovelBot:

[KoKo]

60. Cool... I'll try to cough up some change from my "baggies" I have

stored under the coffee table for you.

I guess "Desperate Times...lead to Desperate Measures?" :shrug:

[KoKo]

63. Gerbils, Trained Monkeys and some of Romeo's perks need to go.

Looking through your budget I could see a Legit Reason for all your other expenses except these three.

The Gerbils need to go. The care feeding and exercise wheel might seem like "small change" in
the overal expense account...but I see no need for the Gerbils in DU headquarters. Romeo should be the Mascot Pet and all else is just fluff and not worth paying for. Donate them to a good research lab where they can test "Bird Flu" on them...so that fellow DU'ers who think Bird Flu is hyped can finally have proof that it jumps from birds to Gerbils and that's only one step to humans. Those of us who think that it's a HOAX will finally be satisfied when the DU Gerbils succumb...and I for one as a Crazy will "shut up." ;-) On Edit: If they power DU then switch to solar panels outside the window. Improvise!

Trained Monkeys? Send me a PM and I can get a number of Enviro Groups who will take care of these poor little imprisoned creatures for you. You can donate 1/2 a percent of your DU Donations from this Fund Drive into the Pot to give those "Trained Monkeys" a better life than they have now. You can dig down into yourselves and just do "archive search" and cut and paste past columns for that ...(It's the same idiots today as were there for the past 6 years...so monkeys aren't needed for a "shuffle and reload, cut and paste.)

Romeo...the DU MASCOT! Well...I love my pets...my two Siamese. But even they don't sleep on a satin bed and have the perks that Romeo does. They "groom" themselves and would put a shorthaired dog who needs "professional services" to take care of himself to shame! We are entering hard times and Romeo is no longer a Pup. He will live longer and healthier without all this stuff that he's being spoiled with.
Give Romeo the Gerbils wheel (when you are rid of them) and require him to do 20 minutes a day. It will help him burn off those gourmet dinners and stuff so that he lives a longer, healthier life than the average life span of canines in his age group. With what you are talking about in indulgence our DU Mascot is going to die of massive overindulgence. He needs to get himself into shape for the coming hard times when the economy finally implodes. He will love you for geting rid of that satin bed....

Okay...the rest of it could be cut, too...but not asking more at this point.

As I said...I'll count up some coins from my baggies and see what I can spare. Nickles are the most valuable these days! Remember "Commodities are UP!"

Peace....:-)'s and a hug and kiss to Romeo as he embarks on his new fitness program and a "wave" to the Gerbils and Monkeys as they head off to their new homes... Next time we can go into the Friday Night Hot Tub Stuff, etc. ... But, I will never approve of getting rid of Earl's Camomile Tea!

[karlrschneider]

64. I'll do the Bush to English translations FREE! (Save ya $50)

(Now where the hell did I stick that random gobbledegook text generator program...?)
;-)

[tavalon]

65. I hope this was just to drum up more contributions

because it's ludicrous to imagine that with all you guys do here that you should have to defend quarterly fund drives. I'm moving right now, so I'm going to contribute low this time but you guys are always first on my list and after I get up to Seattle, I'm putting your site on a monthly pay basis.

This place is worth 100s of times what I've given. Hell, even if you guys were spending the money on gold plated faucets (which I'm positive you aren't) I would still contribute. I hope the three of you actually get a decent living wage from this place. It's already a five star site and if I have any complaint, it would be that you guys spiff it up too often for this old lady to keep up!

[Blue_Tires]

66. done and done

we always need more phone taps and 'covert' goings on!

[dalaigh lllama]

68. Done. And k & r

You guys are the best.:toast:

[newyawker99]

70. kick

:kick: