Arizona High School Bans Bottled Ketchup

[The Straight Story]

Arizona High School Bans Bottled Ketchup
Extra Packets Cost 25 Cents

POSTED: 12:26 pm CDT May 19, 2006
UPDATED: 12:33 pm CDT May 19, 2006


CHANDLER, Ariz. -- One Arizona high school has added another item to its list of banned substances: bottled ketchup.

One student at Basha High School in Chandler was disciplined after being caught with a ketchup bottle two days in a row. And the principal said the school called the parents of several others found with the contraband.

The smuggling began after the school cafeteria limited students to three packets of ketchup per hamburger. You can get extra packets, but they cost 25 cents each.

You also can bring your own packets. But bottled ketchup is banned because the school said it would be a health code violation.

http://www.channeloklahoma.com/education/9245473/detail.html

[babylonsister]

1. Did Rove plant this? nt

[Xipe Totec]

2. Dear God! What would Regan say! n/t

[walldude]

56. Bwhahahaha no more veggies for you! n/t

[derby378]

3. They rationed ketchup at my high school 20 years ago

Actually, you could buy extra packs if you needed them. I don't think my high school ever did that until I showed up. I love ketchup.

[MissB]

4. Most of the ketchup out there is filled with HFCS anyway.

[uppityperson]

5. Now that English is the Official Language, has to be catsup

Seems like bottled ketchup would make it hard to have those little packets squirted all over. Restaurants use bottles.

[Rowdyboy]

29. I read recently that one TBSP catsup contains the equivalent of 1 TSP

refined white sugar. I had no idea....

[Toots]

61. cat soup.....does Frisk have something to do with it all?

:silly:

[niyad]

6. the link isn't working for me. WHAT is the reason for this absurdity?

[MadMaddie]

9. Profit....what else....this tells you the priorities of our schools

are out of whack

[The Straight Story]

12. Here is the reason on the packets:

The policy was adopted because administrators were fed up with students stomping on ketchup packets and squirting the red goo on sidewalks and hallways.

[napi21]

14. Here ya go.

The policy was adopted because administrators were fed up with students stomping on ketchup packets and squirting the red goo on sidewalks and hallways.

Now I guess there's a reason why they opted for packets, huh?

The only other thing I can gleen from the article is that students were stealing the bottles of ketchup.

[Sugar Smack]

49. Stop it!

:spray: :rofl:

[Cha]

51. Oh, they abused it..

Makes it hard on the catsup lovers!

[Guaranteed]

52. That's right- I remember that.

Yes, students do that. Even in high school.

Those were the good ole days.

[politicat]

27. It's the last few days of school and ketchup is great for pranks.

In the Arizona heat, that crap bakes on to concrete in a matter of minutes, turning black and resinous and utterly impossible to get off. It then draws bugs - bees and ants mostly, though wasps like it, too.

And it's fun to squeeze it all over your friends, making them look like they've been through a blender. (It's fun as long as nobody cares about clothes getting stained, anyway.)

When I was in school in the Arizona deserts, it was chocolate milkshakes (they do the same thing if allowed to melt enough to be throw-able.) All of the "cool" (aka dipshit asshats with indulgent parents and the mental aptitude of a piece of earwax) jock types thought it great fun to throw chocolate milk or shakes on any girl they could (including girlfriends, who took this abuse as a mark of pride and are probably proud of every black eye the asshats give them).

It happened to me once... and fortunately, the asshat mostly missed (I could throw better than that idiot, which is why our football team couldn't win). It got in my very long, very red ponytail and no where else.

I don't remember my exact words anymore, but all five feet of me got in his 6'6 face and bellowed. I seem to recall something about the inadvisability of such close relatives as his parents were having children, and the sheep further back in the family 2x4 and the sad combination of genetics and steroids that caused his penis to recede into his body cavity. (Far too smart for my own good.) I also remember my French teacher pulling me away, but I didn't get in trouble. And the asshats stopped messing with the girls they weren't banging.

[NuttyFluffers]

32. i always love a story with a happy ending...

slugging him in the testes would've been a beautiful coup d'grace, but that would've been expecting too much. i'm more of a grab, squeeze, twist! person myself, but thankfully i never really had to write my own happy endings.

[politicat]

33. I would have gotten expelled for physical violence.

Lo those many years ago, I could get away with cussing him up one side and down the other (being a Navy brat had a LOT of perks) but had I touched him....

That would have been a problem that would have gotten me suspended or expelled.

[demobabe]

34. Surf Wax is the ultimate thing to write on concrete with

Melts right into those Phoenix sidewalks and is invisible at first but gradually attracts dirt and is impossible to remove.

But I'm more surprised to hear they named a school after Eddie Basha - owner of the Basha's supermarket chain... I thought there might have been some incentive for ketchup sales...

[politicat]

48. Eddie Basha's a pretty decent fellow, though....

I miss Basha's. An indy supermarket. Sigh.

Yeah, surf wax was really nasty. I remember that.

[BlooInBloo]

59. Duh. To eliminate competition that helps consumers.

republicans are ALWAYS against ANYTHING that helps consumers.

[mdmc]

7. Any Garrison Keillor fans out there?

what will the Ketchup Advisory Board do to rectify this!:wow:

[tanyev]

19. Mmmm...natural mellowing agents.

Seriously. I'm one of those who likes a little french fry with my ketchup.

[spindrifter]

8. How can you

put more than 3 packets-worth of ketchup on a hamburger? Doesn't that just turn it into a meatball in tomato sauce?

[MissB]

11. I suppose you'd want to drown the awful taste of the school

cafeteria hamburger. :shrug:

[Occulus]

28. Those are hamburgers?

We used them on furniture, because we didn't have those coasters you could stick under the feet...

...the 'hot ham and cheese' at my school was pink and white from all the gristle. Every time they served it, they threw out a big part of what they made because nobody wanted it.

For some reason, they kept it going the whole time I was there... :shrug:

[babylonsister]

13. YuMMM, meatballs!

:9 Sounds like a meatball idea.

[derby378]

16. Two packs of ketchup on the meat patty itself...

...then add mustard as desired, sandwich between two halves of a bun, and dunk it in even more ketchup. That's a hamburger for you.

Hey, the ancient Romans used pine kernels and a sticky cooking wine instead of mustard and ketchup. I must try that recipe one of these days.

[Bozita]

10. "From my cold dead hands, ..." - (Think Charlton Heston and ketchup)

[Placebo]

15. F that.

This is a free country, you can put as much ketchup on your burger as you want!

Are we going to start being told how much of which kinds of toppings we can put on our food?

Damn the man!

DAMN the man!

[The Straight Story]

18. FREE THE KETCHUP!

We should send some bottles of ketchup to the school :)

[Placebo]

23. I agree!

If I was an eccentric millionaire I would give every kid at that school a bottle of ketchup. :D

[Sugar Smack]

39. OMG!!!!

This thread is way too funny!! :rofl:

[Toucano]

17. If you need more than three packets of ketchup for a hamburger

you have a ketchup problem. Big-pharma will come up with a pill to help people cope with this affliction, but of course, there is no cure.

There are actually real problems in the world.

[nemo137]

21. I'm guessing fries.

If you can eat an order of fries with fewer than 3 packets of ketchup, you're inhuman.

[Toucano]

25. Ketchup is for COMMIES!

Talk about a red menace.

:)

[Lib Grrrrl]

31. Screw That

I need THIRTY packets of ketchup with an order of fries...I view fries merely as a utensil designed for the sole purpose of eating ketchup.

[Sugar Smack]

44. This is the first I've EVER heard of ketchup being called "contraband"

:rofl:

[Nikia]

20. We were only allowed one

Each additional was 5 cents. I admit that I sometimes stole ketchup packets. One packet wasn't enough for the fries and usually not enough for the sandwich. They didn't have that policy because of any wrong doing by students. They did it because they were cheap.

[Lib Grrrrl]

22. But...But...

Isn't Ketchup a VEGETABLE??

I thought it was...Raygun said so...

[tyedyeto]

26. Damn... you stole my exact words ...

right out of my fingertips. LOL

[NV Whino]

24. The real question is...

was it Heinz Ketchup?

[Swamp Rat]

30. LOL!

:rofl:

[OneBlueSky]

35. never thought I'd see the day when schools banned vegetables . . . n/t

.

[Lib Grrrrl]

45. Too Late, I Already Said That n/t

n/t

[niyad]

36. "a health code violation"? new one on me. and, let's see--this ban is

also supposedly to reduce pranks with the packets of ketchup, which people are allowed to bring from home, right? and who is to say that one doesn't simply hoard the packets until there is a sufficient quantity with which to engage in aforementioned pranks?

question: how much are these school administrators paid to come up with this nonsense?

[Lib Grrrrl]

46. Or, How About This...

how about some kids hoarding ketchup, and selling it by the packet on the black market! Can you imagine, what would the penalty be for selling a bag, I wonder?? :rofl:

Ketchup - free school zone!! :rofl:

[Nay]

37. "Health code violation"? Can kids bring their own lunches? If so,

why can't they bring their own ketchup, whether it's in packets, bottles, or little Tupperware containers? Jesus, no wonder kids think adults are fascists. They are.

[Sugar Smack]

38. NOT WITHOUT MY KETCHUP!!

:smoke:

[peekaloo]

40. Soon the kids will resort to the lesser used catsup and anarchy will ensue

[Sugar Smack]

41. Especially after the sugar withdrawals.

:scared:

[elehhhhna]

42. Yup. Ketchup is what? 80% sugar?

[Sugar Smack]

43. LOL, I think so! The kids will be going nuts

wondering where their fix went.:o

[elehhhhna]

47. They'll have to resort to mayo packets

[Mika]

57. Corn syrup sweetener.

ADM is in on it.

One day we'll be fueling our cars with ketchup. That and switchgrass. ;)

[Cha]

50. I can relate..I used to be

addicted to Ketchup! 3 little ol' packets wouldn't have done for moi. After all, per reagun "it's a vegetable" ;)

[Sugar Smack]

54. And per Dan Quayle, "potato"

is spelled "potatoe".;-)

[BadgerKid]

53. Ketchup: the gateway condiment

to the highly addictive "taco sauce", followed by "BBQ sauce".

[Cha]

55. I graduated to Salsa

when I moved to California back in the day :)

[-..__...]

58. At first I was going to post a WTF type of response.

But then...

:think:

Bottled ketchup is supposed to be refrigerated once it's opened. Likewise so are other condiments: mayonnaise, mustard, relish, etc. There's most likely a Board of Health requirement that opened ketchup bottles can only be left out a certain length of time before they have to be refrigerated (especially in a hot climate like Arizona's). Restaurants are probably required to put the bottles in the fridge overnight.

I think it's probably a pretty safe bet that the any kid toting a bottle of ketchup isn't taking it to school, using it, taking it back home and putting it back in the fridge. More than likely it's kept stashed in a locker or back-pack for months on end until it solidifies into a congealed mass of rubbery paste.

Oh, and for the pranksters...

Take a couple of sealed packs of mayonnaise or ketchup and fold/double them over and strategically place them under the little rubber bumpers on a toilet seat.

The next person that sits down will be not-so-pleased when their inner thighs and ass is splorted.

:evilgrin:

[Left Turn]

60. Nothing is more dangerous

Then Ketchup in the hands of a high schooler. Way to focus on the right priorities school administrators. Jeez.