Hummers - If ya can't get one, drive one!

[TheFriedPiper]

I yelled that at a guy in a big yellow H2 outside Atlanta the other day.

It was funny to watch his face go from confusion to realization to anger.

Right wingers are so easy!!!

[FuzzyDicePHL]

1. Haha!

Good one! Adding it to my library of smarmy sayings! Thanks!

[The Deacon]

2. Well,

What you expect from some poseur in an H2? REAL supporters of crypto-fascist automotive trends drive H1s. H2s have, like, radios & air conditioners & things.

[TheFriedPiper]

3. We should share libraries sometime, I'm quite the Smarmer

myself.

[Justitia]

4. I like it! I usually say "instead of PLAYING soldier, why don't u pick up

a weapon and relieve one?"

[CrispyQ]

5. That is a good one!

A few weeks ago a guy in a H3 was behind me at a traffic light. I had an assortment of anti-boosh/anti-war bumper stickers, including a fave, SUPPORT THE TROOPS: IMPEACH BUSH. Must have pissed him off. He pulled into the lane beside me, rolled down his window, stuck out his hand & flipped me off. I laughed, rolled down my window & yelled, "Ahhh too bad you could only afford the Goldilocks version of a hummer!*" He flipped me off again, tried to roar off, but they aren't the quickest vehicles off the starting line. A few blocks later he made a right turn & damn near hit a pedestrian.

Your retort would have been better, though! :hi:



* - from an H3 TV commercial.

[TheFriedPiper]

6. I love when an SUV driver tries to stomp the gas and cut me off

I have an Eclipse GTS with several performance mods.

I'm sure that seeing my taillights shrinking makes their penis even smaller than it was when they decided to buy the compensator.


Of course, I like holding up my thumb and index finger about an inch apart and yelling 'sorry about your penis' too.


I'm a real asshole, but I use my asshole talents for good, not evil!

[MadHound]

7. LOL, you think that's laughable,

Wait until you see their expression when I beat them off the light with this\


A 9hp Bajaj, with a four speed manual transmission. The poor babies feel so small and insignificant as I leave them in the dust:rofl:

[Warpy]

14. Oh, man, I've got you beat.

I leave them all sitting in the dust on this:

[MadHound]

17. That's cool, like the look

However it is impractical for my needs. My round trip commute is 52 miles. That's why I got the Bajaj, 100mpg, cruises at 55-60mph. Lovely little bike.

But if I was living in the city, I would probably buy one of those Egocycles. Cool looking little bike.

[Warpy]

19. It's a blast to ride, too

because it goes as fast as a bicycle ridden by a really good rider with about the same feel. (I know, because some guy in Spandex on a no name bike tried to keep up with it. He did, but he was huffing and puffing)

I got it because I'm handicapped and can't ride a real bike longer distances. I live in the inner city, so it's ideal for grocery shopping and errands.

Now I'm waiting for eye surgery to heal a bit more so I can go out on it.

[FuzzyDicePHL]

8. OMG

"Sorry about your penis" is a top fave of mine too!

[Nevilledog]

9. The "Compensator"... love it! n/t

[TheFriedPiper]

11. hehe - I love making fun of people in Hummers.

I love making fun of people in Hummers.

You know they got them because they thought people would think they were 'cool' and, yet, it just makes people think the exact opposite!

When I point out to them how ridiculous they look, it makes me feel better, and it may even be the last straw that makes them give it up.

[B3Nut]

20. The H3 is an underpowered joke.

Heavy, and built on the Chevy Colorado small-pickup chassis. IIRC it has an inline 5-cylinder that struggles to drag it around , only gets 16 city & 19 hwy. A Kia Sportage beats it out of the hole and uses less gas. Reviews of it have not been positive...it's a miserable substitue penis. I can dust them in my little Rio, fer pete's sake...

The H2 is a bad overweight uglified Tahoe that can't even burn E85...another joke. The only good Hummer was the H1 with the Diesel engine...though most of the posers who bought that one never actually used or needed its capabilities. It's an awfully impressive off-roader, though. I never understood gas engines in large trucks...Diesels are so much better. Heck, I wish I could have gotten my Kia Rio5 econohatch with the tubodiesel they offer in Europe...

Todd in Beerbratistan

[FuzzyDicePHL]

10. There are some good bumper stickers out there too

including:

"Support our troops: donate your Hummer!"

and

"Real soldiers die in their Hummers so you can play in yours."

[TheFriedPiper]

12. I've seen those, cracks me up!

I think social pressure from comical persecution is the best way to engineer social change.

IOW: Make fun of people's stupidity until they stop being stupid!

[FuzzyDicePHL]

13. Or until

they at least STFU! ;)

Just kiddin' (kinda)... I'm not a mean guy, just very indignant.

But I AM mighty smarmy.

[MidwestTransplant]

15. It would be great to get those bumper stickers made up and put them

on Hummers!

[TheFriedPiper]

16. I COULD set up a CafePress store and offer these

If I had enough interest in them to make it worth the time and $.

Do I?

[northofdenali]

18. Fun one!!

My jeep can outdo an H2 any day of the week. Ever notice how it's usually total losers driving the biggest SUV's? And never take them off road? And they're always clean and shiny?

This goes in my snark book! Thanks :toast: