Satire: Bin Laden Praises News Media In Latest Tape (BSNews)

[Up2Late]

(This is too funny, this the first time I've seen this website, but if any of the other stuff is as good as this "article," it might be a good site to bookmark.)

Bin Laden Praises News Media In Latest Tape

(24 May 06 6:43:59)

(BSNews)Osama bin Laden allegedly said in a videotape Tuesday that he would be “lost” without the unswerving support of news organizations in relating his frequent messages to the world – the first time the terrorist leader has expressed gratitude for the role of the press in furthering al-Qaida’s interests.

“To all those prestigious news entities out there who have supported me through the years, I would just like to take this time to express my eternal gratitude to you. Truly, without your help, I would be lost,” the speaker claiming to be bin Laden said in the tape which originally aired on the al-Jazeera network. “Sure, I am the one in charge of al-Qaida, but without your constant help, I would find it impossible to get my messages out there to the people,” he said, referring to the over 300 missives he’s released to the press since September 11, 2001.

Two counterterrorism officials in Washington, Jack Gower and Bill Bryson, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said U.S. intelligence was already aware of the bin Laden message, and didn’t need to be told about it by some panty-waste reporter. One of the officials (Jack) said there is no reason to doubt its authenticity. The other (Bill) said there is no reason to go telling the entire world everything “Osama bin Jackass says every time he decides to spout off at the mouth.”

Bin Laden also praised the news media for continuing to expose the U.S. Government’s over-reaching efforts in the ‘War on Terror.’ “I would also like to thank the news media for continuing to expose the CIA for what it is – an evil group of Americans bent on destroying al-Qaida,” he said, adding that “NSA wire-tapping is in complete violation with the spirit of the U.S. Constitution.” The terror mastermind urged the press not to pay attention to requests made by the government to stop revealing all of their sensitive intelligence secrets.

(more at link)

<http://www.bsnews.org/articles/131>

[CJCRANE]

1. The MSM

doesn't broadcast everything bin Laden says. If you compare the transcript of his 'October Surprise' '04 tape on CNN vs al-Jazeera you'll see that CNN censored a lot of stuff that was damaging to * and then the MSM spun it to make it look like bin Laden is scared of Bush and likes Kerry when that's completely untrue.

[Up2Late]

2. That tape was 100% bogus propaganda, as was every bin Laden tape...

...since January 2002. He's long dead. I posted about this last night:

<http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=2643504&mesg_id=2645975>

This is Satire (a joke), lighten up.

[linazelle]

3. Randi Rhodes always has vignettes from BS News on her show. nt

[bsartist]

15. really?

I wasn't aware of that.

[bsartist]

16. oh, I checked that out

not related to BSNews the satire site

[svpadgham]

4. That's funny

I have an idea of what a good OBL tape report should be like:

Talking Head:...blah, blah, Holloway...yadda, yadda, American Idol winner was...And in other news, OBL has made a new recording, but we're not going to show you what he said. It wouldn't matter anyways because it's not like YOU personally are going to stop him, and our nation's leadership really aren't going to work on catching him. Besides, he always sounds like he's high, and those subtitles could be made up. All in all you you should just carry on with your lives and help people out when the time comes. Coming up next, My drawing of Mohammed(?).

It'd be great if the MSM didn't make news out of OBL's rantings. In truth his recordings shouldn't be made public. It's not like he's telling us how to find him or what he's planning. The only people that need to see or hear them are the people that didn't do anything to stop the douche in the first place.:banghead:

[Up2Late]

5. kick n/t

:kick:

[bsartist]

6. This one was also quite popular on here...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=364&topic_id=1140905

[bsartist]

7. Another good one you might like...

Fat Cat "Bitterly Resents" Comparison To Dennis Hastert

Mr. Plumpers (left) does not appreciate being compared to Republican Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (right).
BOISE, ID – Mr. Plumpers, an overweight tabby, told another cat today that he “bitterly resents” a comparison one of his human pets made between him and Republican Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert last night.

“Donald teasingly implied that Hastert and I have a lot in common, ‘because we’re both fat cats,’ an insipid comparison I bitterly resent,” said a visibly upset Mr. Plumpers, the hair on his back beginning to stand up on end at the memory of the slight. “Not only did he say this, mind you, but he was petting me at the time!”

http://www.bsnews.org/articles/132

[Up2Late]

8. I like that one too, I was going to post it last night...

...but I got distracted with something else.

I love how it says that "...Mr. Plumpers is the owner of two human-pets, Don Garver, 63, and Colleen Garver, 58...."

[Up2Late]

10. That's great!

I guess I missed that one.:evilgrin:

[slor]

9. "Jack Gower and Bill Bryson, who spoke...

on condition of anonymity". How does that work?

[Up2Late]

12. It's a Joke! Just like our media.

satire

One entry found for satire. <http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/Satire>
Main Entry: sat·ire
Pronunciation: 'sa-"tIr
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin satura, satira, perhaps from (lanx) satura dish of mixed ingredients, from feminine of satur well-fed; akin to Latin satis enough -- more at SAD
1 : a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn
2 : trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly
synonym see WIT

[bsartist]

14. thats a good definition

I'll have to keep it in mind...

[Rex]

11. Benny just wants to give aid and comfort to the enemy.

"Come give me a hug Georgie!"

[Up2Late]

13. Benny...LOL

Or maybe, Oscar Ben Laden?:evilgrin: