10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

[Big Kahuna]

* This was posted on a yahoo mailing list I belong to. *

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural
things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way
that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun
marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs
more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents
to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to
cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. These are really good!

As one whose spiritual order welcomes all people, I especially enjoyed Reason 8. :)

[Maestro]

2. Very nice.

I recently had a conversation with a repuke "friend" and she said she was glad that Texas banned gay marriage through a constitutional amendment. I asked if she thought her marriage was stronger now because of it. She replied with a yes. I then said, "So your husband has stopped his gay affairs with other men then?" She ended the conversation after that. :)

[Karenina]

33. Prolly NOT!

:rofl: Here's an oldy from the cyber-keller! :rofl:

yurbud Donating member (1000+ posts) Sat Apr-23-05 06:50 PM
Response to Original message
15. The real reason men oppose gay marriage


By Les Veeryl


Legalizing gay marriage will undermine marriage and family for one simple reason: most men find it extremely difficult remaining heterosexual.

Only cultural pressure forces us to seek the company of women and competition with other men drives us to find the most attractive women, just as it drives us to buy the biggest SUV.

This is also why once we have gone to all the trouble seduce a woman, our sexual encounters are so brutal, brief, and disappointing for the woman. As much as we try not to think about it, it’s just not a man.

Most women become unconsciously aware of this over the course of their marriage, which is why they cut their hair progressively shorter and cultivate the physique of John Madden, hoping the resemblance will catch our eye and rekindle our original feigned passion.

The cultural norm of heterosexuality forces us to channel our desires into sports, so we have the excuse to touch each other in violence that society would not allow in love. As we grow older, this pattern continues with male exclusive outings like golf, hunting, and fishing. Wealthy men feel less of a necessity to preserve the façade of woman lovers and have male only clubs, where than can merrily chat naked in steam rooms and smoke cigars.

It is torture enough to be forced by our wives to watch Will & Grace and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and see the care-free life of abandoning society’s blind devotion to procreation. I have to remind myself that it’s just a TV show, that there aren’t really people like that in the world.

But what if men were allowed to marry?

That could be enough to push many of us over the edge.

If I knew society would tolerate my true orientation, what would stop me from telling that blonde guy at the club that he looks good in the shower, and then asking him out for more than a beer? And unlike a woman, who requires months of pleading and showering with gifts before sex, another man would gladly give it up in the parking lot on the way to get the beer.

What would make my son, a handsome running back who just started shaving his chest, strive to achieve at school and establish a career if he knew instead he could simply find an older sugar daddy to marry who will shower him with gifts and pedicures?

President Bush has proposed banning gay marriage not out of ignorance prejudice or spite, but personal necessity. On a trip to Canada a while back, he said to the Prime Minister’s press secretary:

Well, you got a pretty face. You got a pretty face. You're a good-looking guy. Better looking than my Scott anyway.Text


More recently, he actually had a gay prostitute pretend to be a reporter in White House press conferences as some sort of role-playing fetish.

If even our president can barely restrain his homosexual impulses, isn’t obvious that a constitutional amendment banning marriage is all that stands between us and a fashion-conscious, color-coordinated, poodle-walking Armageddon?

[B Calm]

3. Everyone knows if Gays were allowed to marry there would

be small gangs of happily married gay couples roaming the streets late at night and gang raping straight people, thus turning them into flaming homosexuals too!

[Damn Hippie]

4. Great!!

Thanks for sharing!:hippie:

[Surya Gayatri]

5. Sometimes just the right

dose of irony says volumes more than even a well-argued essay. Great stuff!
SG

[mourningdove92]

6. Nomination number 5. I love it!

[Todd B]

7. The gay marriage argument is, ultimately, a catch-22 issue.

Don't get me wrong, it's a great list, but if you really want to solve the issue then you take away the states power to marry people altogether - if you want to have a ceremony in a church, go ahead (and call it whatever you want) but it won't mean anything to the state. Civil unions should be the standard for issuing marriage licences - this way you don't have to argue with the people that rant on and on about the bible and you don't get in to a situation which borders on the infringement of church and state.

Let the church recognize marriage; let the state recognize civil unions.

In a perfect world, we could just let everyone do what they want, but the US is too far behind to be civilized about this matter and it will just go back and forth without ever accomplishing anything worthwhile.

[IndyOp]

10. The fundies' complaint isn't about making churches recognize

and perform gay marraiges - no church can be forced to do this - the fundies' complaint is about making government and business recognize gay marraige. It makes no difference whether what the government recognizes is called 'gay marraige' or 'gay civil unions' - the fundies will be against it.

The 'real' reasons behind the fight against gay marraige are (1) the GOP uses it as 'morality bait' to get people to vote for them; (2) businesses spend a lot of money insuring partners, children in straight marraiges and they don't want added expense of recognizing partners, children of gay marraiges/civil unions.

Just my opinion...

[Todd B]

21. But that is part of the problem..

The government *shouldn't* be in the business of recognizing *any* marriage, straight or gay. Marriage is, ultimately, a religious ceremony first and foremost.

You are spot on about it being a "morality trap" amongst the GOP though - which is why I think that this situation will *never* be resolved because they don't seem to want to address the _problem_ they just seem interested in dangling the bait amongst the base.

Take away the governments recognition of any marriage and, bingo, no one can complain anymore. If the churches don't want to marry someone, let them - they'll just suffer the loss of membership and revenue.

I was brought up in a church that never discussed politics and never felt the need to push an agenda on anyone - I wish there were more churches like that. They might see that more people will come back if they're not ambushed with political statements.

[northzax]

25. what businesses don't want, I think

is the responsiblity of insuring blue collar and lower level white collar families any more than they do. more and more companies are recognizing that, in order to attract the top talent, they can't restrict themselves to straight men. AOL for instance. While I generally don't much care for their products, AOL led the attempt, which failed, to overturn the Virginia law banning benefits to unmarried partners. in Virginia, same sex couples cannot sign legal contracts, get mortgages or a host of other things, and companies can't give benefits, even if they want to. this actually was hurting the Virginia tech industry, they hate this law, it makes it more difficult for them to recruit talent. Figure a conservative estimate of 5% of the population as gay (conservative, let's not discuss the actual number) why restrict yourself from being able to hire those people? when you are competing with other states, like california and massachussetts, you are at a competative disadvantage. Companies hate that.

[Touchdown]

27. No, it's not really that complex.

You are using logic to try and understand something illogical.

True that the GOP uses gay marriage as a wedge issue, but people have to take the bait to make it work. These over the edge fundies, are the perfect saps.

The real reason they oppose it, is because they believe (I am not being the least bit ironic here, they truly believe) that gay people are of the Devil, and to not oppose gay anything (you think this will stop if they ever achieve victory on marriage???) is committing a sin itself. They will do anything, no matter how fascist, illegal, or draconian to oppose what they consider evil, even to the point becoming evil themselves, just to combat it. It's the mass equivilent to a mother who kills her kids, because God told her to.

These people have serious mental disorders. This is way beyond any religious faith. You cannot apply logic to glean any meaning out of their motivations. "Nobody who is evil, ever thinks they're evil. They always think they're doing good." -George Lucas on his Chancellor/Emperor Palpatine character.

[tavalon]

15. Bingo

I find marriage as it is currently practiced in America is the ultimate mixture of religion and government.

[meganmonkey]

8. Perfect!

:rofl:

[AnnieBW]

9. Gays Should Be Allowed to Marry

Why should straight people be the only ones who have to suffer? :D

- Annie, happily married for coming up on 12 years.

[DarkTirade]

16. I recall a comedian saying something to that effect

something about how he's getting sick of gays getting off easy. They should be FORCED to get married. :)

[tuvor]

11. Credit to these guys. Plus two more reasons

They also have a pdf of the 12 reasons, suitable for posting on bulletin boards in areas where narrow-minded people congregate.

http://grove.ufl.edu/~ggsa/node/8

[dilligas]

12. Right or wrong...

doesn't matter.

One thing's for sure though--it is a losing issue.

[Balbus]

13. It "was" a losing issue.

But more and more eyes are opening, and Repubs are backing away from this issue more and more. I think this can be turned into a winning issue as soon as next elections and beyond. It's an issue that the average person can look at and see how crazy and bigotted the "fundies" really are.

[Bluebear]

17. Thanks for your support. nt

[MiniMandaRuth]

18. It WAS a loosing matter,

but now more and more people are realizing that marriage is marriage... or did I say that right?

Anyways, even if it is a loosing battle, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for ALL people is worth fighting for.

[handsignals4theblind]

23. the author-probaly is a wife beater or GAy-unconsciously

the most ardent critics who voice their platitudes about sexuality are usually the one who have hang ups about sex and if somebody dug deeper they would probaly find these voiciferous moral hypocrites probaly gay themself.

Never hurt Tom Cruise's career

[ruggerson]

30. So right and wrong doesn't matter

as long as you're on the side that has the current majority?

[LostinVA]

34. Whatever

Civil rights were a losing issue, women's rights were, too... interracial marriage, banning child labor, paying overtime, etc. If you consider it a "losing issue," and thus of no real energy, then go post on another board. And, before other posters jump all over me, read the poster's other posts -- many of his 15 are snide, freeperish, and rather homophobic. I hear enough of that in my daily life, I don't need to be degraded on DU, too.

[Bridget Burke]

35. Right & Wrong DO matter....

And Gay Marriage was not a "losing issue" for your side....

[LuCifer]

14. plus...

...we can't have MORE divorce lawyers!!!!! :sarcasm:

[bliss_eternal]

19. #4--

Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.


LOL! LOL!

[Mad_Dem_X]

20. I love it!

This one's going to be forwarded.

[Kurovski]

22. It's also wrong because if all my divorces had been legal

I would never have had enough money to get married again somewhere around the ten or twelfth! ;-)

[SoCalDem]

24. Ahem .. I posted this a few days ago

:P

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=4510683

[Kurovski]

32. Great minds think alike!...nt

[SPKrazy]

26. To me, the simplest solution is to make marriage a religious institution

and let the state give licenses for "civil unions" (for heteros and homosexuals)

Then there is no religious acceptance of marriage of gays being asked by the state.

Religions and churches that want to bless gay marriages will be free to do that, but marriage, whether between a man and a woman, or two men, will not be a legal contract, but rather a spiritual contract made in that person's religion of choice.

Persons who want legal partnerships will have to obtain a civil union license, not a marriage license.

And civil unions should be legal for everyone as there is no "moral" context to them.

[davidinalameda]

28. bravo!!!

being around tall people makes you tall

I wish!

[TahitiNut]

29. 11) People loving one another is among the greatest problems in the world.

We must stamp it out whenever we can. :eyes:

[nicknameless]

31. The only one I take exception to: #1) "Being gay is not natural."

"Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning."

But that's reinforcing the falsehood that it's not natural.

[Pushed To The Left]

36. The scary thing about #8

The whole thing, including the punchline, looks like what the radical right really wants!