10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Will Ruin Society (Humor)

[sellitman]

* Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

* Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

* Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

* Straight marriage has been around long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

* Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

* Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

* Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

* Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

* Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

* Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

[underpants]

1. Ewwwww polyester

That’s why we have only one religion in America

[Ravenseye]

2. Nice

I like it. Unfortunately the racist biggoted homophobic assholes don't care one whit for this apt humor because they're only capable of fear and hate.

[MADem]

3. Sheesh, this sounds like the arguments the NY courts bought off on!!!!!!

I know it's humor, but dunnit????

[TheWraith]

4. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha.

I'm tempted to print this on 3x5 index cards and start leaving them around town. Pity that it will fly right over so many people's heads.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

5. Great!

K&R---gee, do you really think if I hang around tall people enough I'll grow and inch or two at age 55??