So which Flame Warrior are you? - Democratic Underground

RagingInMiami

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Sat Jul-08-06 02:04 PM
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So which Flame Warrior are you?

I snagged this from the lounge, but the characters strike me more as GD DUers. Here are a few common GD DUers. Many more are on the site linked at the bottom of the post.

Blowhard feels the need to present his credentials before entering the fray - even if they are irrelevant to the discussion. For example, in a movie forum conflict he might attempt to settle the matter by saying, "As a Ph. D. candidate in particle physics I believe I can say with some authority that the 'Beavis and Butthead' movie represents the emergence of a new cultural paradigm." Huh?

Big Dog is a bully who doesn't hesitate to use his superior strength to intimidate other combatants. Big Dog may be smart, articulate or just plain mean, but in any case he is a remorseless fighter, brutally ripping into even the weakest of combatants. Once Big Dog securely fastens his powerful jaws on a hapless victim, Me-Too will join the attack. Me-Too is far too weak and insecure to engage in single combat, and must ally himself with Big Dog or a pack of other Warriors to bring down his quarry.

Grenade isn't actually a Warrior, per se, but it's an ordnance so widely employed that no Flame Warriors guide would be complete without mentioning it. When lobbed into a discussion forum Grenade instantly blasts civil discourse into smoking rubble. Grenade's explosive content can be adjusted to the forum's interests. Typical detonating materials can be Bill Clinton, George Bush, gun control, homosexuality, Reagan, abortion, taxes, conspiracy theory, the NEA, welfare reform, etc. When facing certain defeat a Warrior can stall even the most determined attack with a diversionary explosion. Grenade can bea particularly destructive weapon in the hands of Evil Clown, Issues, Troglodyte or even Weenie, but almost any Warrior can use it to gain a temporary strategic advantage. Eagle Scout has been known to throw himself upon Grenade to save the forum.

For Ego, the discussion forum is all about him, and he regards discussions that stray from that topic as trivial dalliances. Although tolerant of an occasional shift in focus, Ego grows increasingly restive when the forum's attention shifts away from his interests, and he will often provoke conflict to reestablish himself as the subject at hand. Ego is one the the fiercest of all the Warriors and will fight to the death when attacked.

Nitpick compensates for his limited fighting ability by pouncing on points that are only marginally relevant to the discussion. For example, if his opponent in a sports forum conflict casually mentioned the Cubs' 4-2 victory in the 1908 World Series, Nitpick would quickly counterattack with something like, "4-2 !? Any moron knows the Cubs won the Series 4-1! Someone so ignorant about baseball history can't possibly know anything about salary caps!" Even if the minor point is conceded by his opponent Nitpick will return to it whenever the battle turns against him. Though weak, Nitpick is very tenacious and will never admit defeat. Nitpick is a close ally of Artful Dodger.

The most common variants of Ideologue are conservative and liberal. Smug and self satisfied in their certitudes, Ideologue's opinions are merely a loose collection of intellectual conceits, and e is genuinely astonished, bewildered and and indignant that his views are not universally embraced as the Truth. He regards the opposing point of view as a form of cognitive dissonance whose only cure is relentless propagandizing and browbeating. The conservative iteration of Ideologue parades himself as a logical, clear thinker, while the liberal version trumpets his higher level of mental, spiritual and social awareness. Troglodyte is the natural ally of conservative Ideologue, and for liberal Ideologue it is Weenie. Ideologue is a fierce, but very predictable Warrior.

Pinko has an angry, almost genetic loathing for privilege, greed, social exploitation, racism, sexism, homophobia, pro-lifers, the religious right, environmental degradation, the NRA, US imperialism, multinational corporations, big business, Republicans in general and George Bush in particular. Pinko openly admires Oliver Stone, Noam Chomsky and Michael Moore and anyone else who is critical of the US government and bourgeois culture. She ardently believes there is no enormity of which the United States is incapable and regards its entire history as an unbroken legacy of avarice, deceit and injustice. Though Issues, Weenie, Fragile Femme and sometimes Ideologue will defend Pinko in battle, her extremely predictable and tedious attacks eventually exhaust even those inclined to support her.

Weenie is a very sensitive guy, and it angers and saddens him that everyone isn't just as sensitive as he. An admitted male feminist, Weenie is ever vigilant against anti-progressive attitudes. Though he seldom comes into personal contact with the working classes, he keenly feels the pain of their oppression nonetheless . Weenie's chief antagonists are Troglodyte, Evil Clown, Capitalista and sometimes Ideologue. Because of his natural petulance Weenie can easily be goaded into battle, but he is encumbered by a tendency to throw temper tantrums when severely pressed.

Many more on this site.
http://redwing.hutman.net/%7Emreed/index.htm