Report: American ice cream parlors, donut shops terror breeding grounds

[Atman]

I swear, I am not making this up. I just heard this during the news break on Air America, and it cites some report that maybe someone here has seen and could link for us.

Now, here it the really amazing part of this report, at least to this DUer...last year, The Carlyle Group -- yes, THAT Carlyle Group, of Poppy Bush/defense industry infamy -- purchased the Baskin Robins and Dunkin Donuts chains! W T bloody F is going on with this administration? It's like a freakin' Alice in Wonderland chapter! But why, oh why? What's in it for Poppy and Carlyle? This whole mess keeps getting curiouser and curiouser.

[niyad]

1. if donut shops are a breeding ground for terrorists, WHAT was the SS

doing allowing * to make an "UNSCHEDULED" (yeah, right, we believe THAT) stop at one last week?

[unpossibles]

2. satire? n/t

[benburch]

3. Oh! The terror of a Apple Fritter and an Extra Large coffee...

...with cream and Sweet n Low! :scared:

[Norquist Nemesis]

5. All made by Illegals!!! n/t

[Cassandra]

6. Isn't Sweet n Low a WMD?

or maybe it's the fritter.

[benburch]

14. BOTH.

And the coffee... That's a South American DRUG!

[Norquist Nemesis]

4. What a coincidence! Ben (of Ben and Jerry's) was on CSPAN

this morning. LOL! (He honestly was.)

Ice cream shops probably went on the watch list during the 2004 campaign when Jerry was touring the country with his liar liar pants on fire trailer.

[slackmaster]

7. Ice cream? CHILDRENS' ICE CREAM?!?!?

[MindPilot]

8. It's very simple: Control of the donut distribution network equals

control of the domestic police force. It's the first major step to martial law.

[calico1]

9. Oh no!

Krispy Kreme terrorists! I knew it would come to this! :scared:

[Swamp Rat]

10. Don't forget the nursury schools and PTA meetings

Save us Bushler! from the evil ice cream-eating toddlers!!!

[RaleighNCDUer]

11. Hey, just so long as they leave Krispy Kreme alone! nt

[Javaman]

12. Stand back, he's got a cream filled donut!!!

Two cops sitting at the counter of a local dunkin donuts.

Cop#1: So I says to da guy, put down the cat and we can tawk...

Cop#2: day never loin. He get a load of da guy dat just walked in...

A swarthy completion man, in his 20's, dressed in a long overcoat, enters the eatery carrying a paper bag. He hoisted th bag over his head and yells...

Man: I have a bag full of cream filled donuts and I'm not afraid to use them!!!
Cop#1: holy crap!

The two cops duck behind there metal diner stools.

Cop#2: Jeez, Ralph, this guy looks serious, should we call for back up?

Ralph: naaa, I've seen this before, I can handle him.

Slowly Ralph gets up and puts his hands out in front of him, showing the donut terrorist he's a "friend".

Ralph: Hey, you don't want to do dis. Look buddy, we are all fellow humans in here just catching a break from the world.

man: don't come a step closer. these things are loaded and ready to go!

Ralph: I know times are tough, we all need a little help, someone to talk to now and then.

Man: it's been tough man.

Ralph nods to the frighten donut worker behind the counter. In response the counter worker nods back and slowly ducks under the counter. Ralph takes a step closer.

Ralph: I'm ralph, and you are...

The man looks around at the faces in the shop.

Man: I'm Steve.

Ralph: nice to meet ya steve, now I think you really don't want to use those things to go off, do you? You seem like a good guy.

Steve: no, I mean, yes, maybe, I don't know! I was told, you know, to do it for the cause!!

Out of the corner of Ralph's eye, the counter person places to regular cups of coffee on the counter.

Ralph: Steve, smell dat? freshly brewed...

Steve: oh man!

Steve, absent mindedly, lets go of the bag to reach for the coffee. Ralph panics and dives for the bag, catching it within millimeters of the floor.
The other patrons erupt in applause. Cop#2 rushes to his partners side.

Cop#2: Ralph, dat was close, you okay?

Ralph: Damn close, now get me a regular coffee now! These things are about to go sour!

[noonwitch]

13. I knew that BR/Dunkin was a match made in hell!

I just thought it was bad for those of us trying to keep from getting fat.