"Sending Old Men to War" have you seen this?

[yorgatron]

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"Sending Old Men To War
You can't be older than 35 to join the military.


They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending
18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.

You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year- olds think about sex every
10 seconds.


Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us
more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.


Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky
soldier is a dangerous soldier.

If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission.
"My back hurts!"
"I'm hungry!"
"Where's the remote control?"


An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to
war until you're at least old enough to legally drink.

An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons
of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a
backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.


An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.


Old guys get up early every morning to pee anyway.


If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd
probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number
would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys.
We're used to getting screamed and yelled at.


... and we actually like soft food.

We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles.


We like them almost better than naps.


They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.
I've been in combat and I didn't see a single 20-foot wall with
rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing
basic training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give
me...er...one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy.
I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.


An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.
He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation,
and to wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer
shorts sticking out.

He's still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food
particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord
can rupture an eardrum.

All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more
about life before sending them off to possible death.


Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked
our hearts on September 11.

The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of
million old farts with attitudes. "



this turned up at the hot rod message board i hang out at.
not the most liberal place,which is why the thread got locked.

[Ganja Ninja]

1. Send the wealthiest to war first.

Start with the billionaires and work your way down.

[wakeme2008]

2. I like it

But I am on old fart. :)

[checkmate1947]

3. Old Farts

with weapons are dangerous, and we don't fall for BS like we used to, and it would take them 30 min to call a cease fire.

[MADem]

4. They've actually RAISED the accession age recently, TWICE in fact

There's a serious element of truth in that humor:

March 22, 2005

WASHINGTON, D.C. (March 22, 2005, Army News Service) –The Army has announced a three-year test program to evaluate raising the reserve-component non-prior-service maximum enlistment age from less than 35 years of age to less than 40 years of age.

The program will evaluate the feasibility of a permanent change to the enlistment policy for the Army reserve components, officials said. The test will begin immediately and continue through Sept. 30, 2008.

...“When you look across the population, we are living longer and now a 40-year-old can be in better physical shape than a 20-year-old,” said Command Sgt. Maj. Michelle S. Jones, top NCO in the Army Reserve. We are more concerned about our recruits’ level of fitness rather than just their age.”
...

http://www.army.com/articles/april_up_enlist_age.html

June 21, 2006

Maximum enlistment age upped to 42

By Melissa Vogt
Times staff writer

The Army has again raised its age limit for active-duty and Army Reserve recruits in hopes of expanding its pool of potential soldiers. The new maximum enlistment age is 42 for both components, Recruiting Command announced Wednesday.

...However, 40- to 42-year-olds will receive additional medical screening, especially on their cardiovascular health, such as blood pressure and cholesterol, said Recruiting Command spokesman Douglas Smith.

....More than 1,000 individuals older than 35 have enlisted in the Army and Army Reserve since the age limits were raised, according to Recruiting Command.

Raising recruit age limits was part of a package of recruiting changes aimed at avoiding a repeat of last fiscal year’s recruiting shortfall. The Army ended the year 8 percent below its annual goal of bringing in 80,000 people.

http://www.armytimes.com/story.php?f=1-292925-1886067.php

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. *lol* Works for me

[SoCalDem]

6. He who starts it, fights it.... That would be my choice

:)