Breaking: Israeli & Lebanese Soldiers Drop Their Drawers; Cross Swords!

[politicaholic]

Israel orders it's cannons fully
erect in preparation of war.

Rapture Fancy Magazine
Kookorado Springs, Colorado - Israel and Lebanon are gearing up to have a major blow out pissing contest to determine once and for all which is mightiest: circumcised or uncircumcised.

In preparation for what top Israeli officials are calling "Operation Bris", they are cutting off remaining ties to Palestinian officials and consolidating their troops on two fronts. This "Pull Out Method" has been popular in Jewish culture for hundreds of years.

James Dobson, impotent narcissistic evangelical spokes dick, was quoted as saying, "This is a clear sign that the rapture is nearer than its ever been before because as you know, everything on earth revolves around the methodist movement. So please, all chosen brethren, don't be too happy about the pending blood bath. Just like you'll have to wait your turn to enter heaven, they'll all be queuing up for hell." Then he bounced on his seat, clapping, and giggling like he was about to be served a big banana split made out of money.


James Dobson proves that any black
soul can be covered with makeup
and good lighting.

The UN is expected today to up the Danger Rating of this conflict from "cluster fuck" to "shit storm" later today. United States officials are please as to how this is going because they prefer escalation to diplomacy. As SOB Rumsfeld put it, "To tell you the truth, its just easier. And heck, a full scale Middle Eastern conflict can only help President Bush's poll numbers, because you know what? That's the only thing that really matters...to us anyway."

[uppityperson]

1. k&r for an excellent summary

[gully]

2. Dobson is nuts.

It's pathetic that half the American voting population suffers from mental illness.

[bloom]

3. kick