The Rapture as fundies see it is hooey. Maybe the return of Christ

[GreenPartyVoter]

was never meant to be physical? Maybe by acting in truly Christian ways (loving and serving others) He is brought back to earth?

It is scary what paranoid people can do with "faith".

[AuntPatsy]

1. Agreed, trully frightening what history has show to prove such

strange rantings and beliefs can only cause harm in the end.

[C_U_L8R]

2. Shhhhhhhhhh

don't let the KKKristians know that it's all make-believe....
this is divine comedy !!

[zeemike]

3. There is no rapture in the bible

They made it all up from a single phrase that Paul (Saul of Tarsus) said; "and those of us that remain will be caught up with him in the air"
Out of that misunderstood phrase they built this whole rapture thing, which is a false teaching.

[BlackVelvet04]

4. The rapture as taught today

originated with a teenage girl in Scotland.....Margaret McDonald.

"On one particular evening. the power of the Holy Spirit was said to have rested on a Miss Margaret Macdonald while she was in a state of illness at home. She was dangerously sick and thought she was dying. In spite of this (or perhaps because she is supposed to have come under "power" of the spirit for several successive hours during which she experienced the manifestations of "mingled prophecy and vision." The message she received during this prophetic vision convinced her that Christ was going to appear in two stages at His second coming -- and not one! The emanation revealed that Christ would first come in glory to them that look for Him and again in a final stage when every eye would see Him. It was this visionary experience of Miss Macdonald which represents the prime source of the modern Rapture doctrine as the historical evidence compiled by Mr. MacPherson abundantly shows."

There is little to no biblical basis for the rapture teaching.

[nebenaube]

7. delerium?

So, we have a whole cult based on the delerious hallucinations of a severe fever? No wonder LSD is so dangerous...

[Gormy Cuss]

5. I can't understand the notion that Christ wants people to precipitate it

Where in the Bible do they claim that message emanates?
For that matter, since the dead will rise first, why not just commit suicide as soon as you're saved and wait in the grave for the second coming?

It's not just paranoia. It's a limited understanding of metaphor, not to mention the nuances of language and how difficult it is to translate concepts. Snake-handling is the classic example of what happens when a literal interpretation is put on translated text.

[Bigmack]

6. Old jokes...

I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that Jesus is coming. The bad news is that he is PISSED!
or
Hey.... Jesus is coming back. Look busy!

Superstitious bullshit.

[Vinca]

8. Personally, I wish all the fundies who are anxious to meet Jesus

would put on their space suits, lay on the cot and drink the funny Kool-Aid.

[Syncronaut Seven]

9. I'm already here, and I'm taking notes.

BOOYA!
PS: Ask your forgiveness not of me, but of those you trampled seeking my glory.

[GreenPartyVoter]

10. OOH! perfect bumper sticker!