Rapture Ready Tips for the End Times.

[Neshanic]

Even though the paperboy is a heathen non-believer, he does deserve a tip prior to you being wisked upstairs.

Dress conservatively in these Final Days, as the LORD does not like Prada.

For your Satanic relatives, do not let them use your pool while you are gone. It's only for their own good, and besides the pool guy may not be around.

All pershible items are allowed to be placed out in the open for the ravenous hordes of left behinds. No point in letting good potato salad go.

Living together but not married? For bounus points with the LORD, keep the sex down to a reasonable level before departure.

Divorced belivers...sorry, you stay with the gays, no wiggle room on that issue, sayeth the LORD.

If you feel left behind in error, the LORD will have a shell corporation call center set up to take calls and explainations. The center will be based in Bangalore.

[calico1]

1. One question:

My ears get plugged when I am at high altitudes. Is chewing gum okay? :P

[guinivere]

2. NO! No gum chewing. If caught chewing gum

you will have to stick it on your forehead and stay here with the left behinds. Tickets to the left behinds dinner/dance are still available.



:party:

[bowens43]

3. personally, I think the world will be a much better place

with the fundies gone! I'm looking forward to the rapture and to staying behind!