This Is Not A Satire:
“Even Bush's Toilet Paper Was Flown In From The U.S. Air Base At Ramstein”
July 4, 2006 Wayne MadsenReport.com {Excerpts}
Even Bush's crap is classified top secret.
According to our Austrian sources, Austrian newspapers are currently abuzz with special security details of George W. Bush's recent trip to Vienna.
Although the heavy-handed Gestapo-like security measures meted out to Viennese home owners, business proprietors, and pedestrians by US Secret Service agents and local police before and during Bush's visit received widespread Austrian media attention, it was White House "toilet security" ("TOILSEC"), which has Austrians talking the most.
The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush's personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush's security, the veil of secrecy extends over the president's bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush's feces and urine and flew the waste material back to the United States in the event some enterprising foreign intelligence agency conducted a sewage pipe operation designed to trap and examine Bush's waste material.
One can only wonder why the White House is taking such extraordinary security measures for the presidential poop. {It occurs to me that Bush may be on drugs that he doesn't want the world to know about. Like Rush Limbaugh! It is hard to imagine how Bush lives with himself, or looks at himself in the mirror, unless he is on some sort of "happy pills" to make him oblivious and easily malleable by his handlers. As an alcoholic, and "former"? drug addict, he probably needs some sort of artificial support to get thru the day. Bush has taken more "days off" vacation time than any p/Resident in history!}
More:
http://www.care2.com/c2c/share/detail/125004