top 10 signs you are a fundamentalist christian

[datasuspect]

copied from craigslist:



10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

[xchrom]

1. that's hysterical!

[Blue Gardener]

2. And you think GWB is a religious man

And God put him in office. Uh-huh.

[datasuspect]

4. god didn't put him in office?

now i'm sad.

[Jackpine Radical]

14. Don't believe these people. God did put him in office.

God works mostly through Tony Scalia (that's why they call it Opus Dei) and Wally O'Dell.

[madeline_con]

5. In for a penny, in for a pound. n/t

[madeline_con]

3. #1 is SO very true. n/t

[hyphenate]

6. I wish I could slip a copy of this

sereptitiously to my fundie best friend. But I doubt if I could get it to her without her knowing who sent it!

Sounds about right. Since I'm spending next week with her on a camping trip (could be our last outing for other reasons) perhaps I can make crib notes out of it. :)

[Libby2]

7. Excellent!!

[hyphenate]

8. I've argued on the basis of

the belief systems of the entire world before until I was blue in the face--there must be some kind of automatic light switch in the brain of these brainwashed folks that immediately turns off when any religion other than "Christianity" is mentioned. It seems as though it's real, forced brainwashing instead of voluntary.

[dipsydoodle]

9. including women, children, and trees.........

Glad you remembered the trees. :)

[Ravenseye]

10. Good stuff

I've used number 10 before. It sort of comes from a quote from a famous athiest. Something along the lines of "The reason you don't believe in any other gods, is the same reason I don't believe in yours."

[karlrschneider]

11. Put another similar way, "We're about the same, I just believe in

one fewer gods than you do"

;-)

[Ravenseye]

13. HAHAHA I love it

I'm gonna use that one! :)

[calico1]

12. Priceless! Thanks. n/t

[Hubert Flottz]

15. Your Prezadunce would not be the first George W Gawd spoke

through!(You forgot snakes BTW)

http://religiousmovements.lib.virginia.edu/nrms/Snakes.html

[bleedingheart]

16. as a "cafeteria-lapsed" Catholic, I am always suprised by number 1

in fact...I have had people try and argue with me...but the mere fact that I have actually read the bible and they have not....is amazing...

They can't understand why I don't go to church but yet....I have read "theee..book"...

[Atman]

17. POST OF THE DAY!

|

[BlueJac]

18. Come on............

God told Bush to go to war in Iraq!



:sarcasm:

[Voltaire99]

19. Sign #11.

You feel lightheaded... Rapture lift off!!!

[Mythsaje]

20. To number 1

add pagans.

Most pagans study the bible out of self-defense.

[upi402]

21. woman from a rib, animals from a boat, ...

:eyes:

[Hippo_Tron]

22. #1 is the key

See Congressman Lynn Westmoreland