Rice Off to Pageant in Middle East, Wishes for World Peace

[Bluebear]

Rice waves to adoring reporters and fans as she departs a State Department press conference


Washington, DC (APE) - US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, in a press conference yesterday at the state department, bid farewell as she embarked on a trip to a major competition in the middle east where she will be representing the United States. She vowed to bring home the title to the Middle East to America.

"This is a different Middle East competition," Rice stated, "It's a new Middle East. It's cutthroat."

"What we're seeing here... is the afterbirth of an aborted attempt at a democracy in a "New" Middle East competition. We have to be certain, this time, that we push when we're told to in the Middle East, and not go back to breathing the incorrect old way."

Rice stated that she was looking forward to open confrontation and competition with her perennial archrivals Miss Syria, Miss Iran, and this year's gutsy performer, Miss Hezbollah. She offered to reporters that fans would be in for a real treat as she partnered with Miss Israel in the talent portion of the competition. Sources have reported that the two will perform a song and dance routine to Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture. Rice, an accomplished concert pianist, will offer her rendition of the classical piece while Miss Israel performs an interpretive dance. Washington has reportedly pulled all stops in their support of the production, and is reportedly speeding delivery of precision guided pyrotechnics and other "special effects" to spice up the presentation....

http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/?itemid=1821

[Master Mahon]

1. Looks like another summer shopping junket!! n/t

[Fridays Child]

2. I've heard that there are some great shoe stores in Tel Aviv.

[TheCowsCameHome]

3. She should enter herself as "Miss Information" or "Miss Leading"

[symbolman]

4. Is this an Onion Piece?

I'd rather hang Miss USA on a PIG than this mutant from hell..

Love that all this death is just a JOKE to some people.. wonder how they'd feel if building started falling all around them or had a gun stuck in their face (and I'm not talking about anyone sticking a gun in CondoLIESa's face, tho she sure was dressed up a little different in SAFE Iraq, flak jacket, helmet)..

Where's the Military Helmet with "Miss USA" on it?

[Bluebear]

6. 'Love that all this death is just a JOKE to some people.'

Truthfully, I wish you would step back and appreciate the vehicle of irony in this piece. The author of makes several points which are not 'jokes' but offer deeper observations of Rice's role.

[Liberal_Dog]

5. This Pageant Is Probably Rigged

Condi has promised the judges a luxury cruise aboard the "Condoleezza Rice" complete with all the media whores they could ever want.

A full investigation is obviously needed.