Dewine and Voinovich to OPPOSE Alito - Breaking Story

[mikelewis]

In an odd turn of events, Senators DeWine and Voinovich issued a joint statement opposing the Alito nomination and stated that they would support a Democratic Filibuster of the nomination. Word of the defection spread throughout Washington's intelligence circles yesterday afternoon and Vice President Dick Cheney immediately went to inquire if the wiretaps were true. When he arrived at the Senators office, he found they had fled Washington the previous morning for an undisclosed location in Ohio. Rumor has it that a massive covert man-hunt is on for the two rogue Senators.

Their statement was issued early this morning around 4:30 a.m. in the basement of a Democratic partisan. Once in front of the camera, Voinovich managed to creak out three words before breaking down into sobs, "I - I - ummm." Senator DeWine came to the rescue of his collapsing colleague and stated repeatedly, "Don't let them find us, don't let them find us." He retired to a corner where he sat staring blankly at a wall holding a teddy bear and munching on wheat crackers. It is reported by anonymous sources that Vice President Dick Cheney stated, "Bring them to me, ALIVE".

The action-packed turn of events has not left the Alito nomination in doubt. A recent legal brief by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales reveals that even if the Congress blocks the Alito nomination, the President has the war-power authority specifically granted by Congress in Patriot Act to over-ride the Congress's implied advice and consent clause. The Secretary of Defense has issued a statement assuring "loyal Republicans" that Alito "will be a Supreme Court Justice and any illegal acts by Senators will trigger a suspension of Posse Comitatus." As the full Senate sits down to debate the confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Alito, Senator Bill Frist has assured the President and the American right, "We wil do thy bidding, my Master."

[papau]

1. LOL :-)

:-)

[Botany]

2. Great News!

And rumor has it that Senator Olympia Snow after seeing evidence of the massive
domestic spying by the NSA is going to call for the President to resign from office today.

[mikelewis]

3. I heard that she has been replaced by an android...

Little chance of her defection now unless someone can hack into her operating system.

[Canuckistanian]

4. What, not Conrad Burns?

Great story!

[liberal N proud]

5. Delete

[iconoclastNYC]

6. Bad joke

[Deep13]

7. What's the source for this.

Yahoo just says that Ben Nelson will support Scalito.

[mikelewis]

13. If from the "ravings of a madman"

[converted_democrat]

8. What a let down.....n/t

[underpants]

9. Very good

Cue the Darth Vader music for Cheney entering the Senate

[abluelady]

10. Unfortunately, there is probably more truth

to your story than not!

[catmandu57]

11. Goddammit mike

I was hoping this was real.

[hang a left]

12. Took me a minute....

That is not nice. :evilgrin:

[Name removed]

14. Deleted message

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