How many women should I sleep with, or say I did, to pretend to be hetero?

[dsc]

I used to think it should be a really large number. You know if one is good, then two would be better, three terrific, and so on. Well now we know that isn't true. The well known scholar Ann Coulter has told us that according to feminist theory sleeping with lots of women means I have the whiff of the bathhouse. So just what is the proper number. I might need this info someday to keep out of the camps.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. Can we have sex?

I'm straight and I'd like to look more straight because I'm insecure about my sexuality. So therefore I'd like to have gay sex in order to give the appearance that I'm a ladies man.

I'm askin', cause I heard you were pretty hot.

:hi:

[dsc]

4. I have to wait to see how many slots I have

Wouldn't want that whiff of the bathhouse. But thanks for the offer I may need all the women I can get.

[Lerkfish]

2. LOL! well, I'm hetero and was a virgin until after college

not by choice, mind you.

:)

If there was a magic number, I missed it. !!!!

[Howardx]

3. "the whiff of the bathhouse"

hahaha awesome funny

[dsc]

5. believe it or not those were her actual words.

[Redstone]

12. Now there's a woman (I suppose) with some REAL deep-seated

"issues," yes?

Redstone

[Howardx]

14. haha

i thought you had made that up. too bad it was funnier coming from you than coulter

[dsc]

17. It is sad when satirists

can't keep up.

[catmother]

28. that's too funny.

[AnnieBW]

6. Smells like Obsession For Men

Or whatever the "in" cologne is with the "bathhouse" crowd these days.

[SmokingJacket]

7. That number is 4.5. nt

[tinfoilinfor2005]

8. It's like buying dish settings...

Six is not enough, twelve is too many to brag about in mixed company. Shoot for somewhere in between. :)

[dsc]

9. That makes sense

I guess seven would be good. The perfect number and all.

[Botany]

21. 7? Thanx for the warning .... the more women a striaght guy sleeps w/ ...

the more likely he will be gay? Oh boy I must be gay bound

because:

Marsha
Ruth
Diane
? (Ann I think)
Caroline
The big One
Marilyn
Jodi
the one from work
Gina
Cindy
Lara
Laura
Amy
Molly
Linda
Ellen
Susan
? sandy blond .... actress / model .... hated my lab puppy
Kathy
Pat
Linda
My Ex Wife
2001 - 2005 the lost years

I might as well start decorating my house and becoming fab. :rofl:

[LeftyMom]

37. Who are all these guys sleeping with?

A lady'd generally be thought a bit *ahem* overexperienced *ahem* at 6 or more. Is it just that guys round up and women decide that some guys can be excluded from the count on techincalities?

[Dhalgren]

10. Four. But each of the four must be multiple sessions. If the

woman doesn't want you to come back, you're doing something wrong...

[Redstone]

11. Shit, I don't know. My number is 42, so I must be a real flamer. I guess

it's me for the camps, too.

Hey, just whisper your DU screen name to me, and we'll look out for each other, OK?

Redstone

[dsc]

15. 42?

I really have to get cracking. It is like those studies by the Family Research Council that talk about the thousands of men people like sleep with. I feel so far behind.

[Redstone]

19. No, no, don't get me wrong. I'm NOT boasting. And furthermore, I could

tell you every one of their names. I pride myself on NEVER having slept with a woman just to get some nookie. I liked every single one of them, and that's the stone truth.

Being that I grew up in the 1960s and 1970s, that took some doing. Back then, if your had a policy of only sleeping with a woman because you liked her, not just to get laid, you did indeed have to turn some of them down. And I did. It was THAT fucking crazy.

But I really, really liked a lot of women. I still correspond with about half of them, because we ended up being friends after the romantic part faded.

Redstone

[tinfoilinfor2005]

20. And I've told you over and over, stop writing to me...

next thing will have to be a restraining order!

:hippie:

(ok, i'm joking...)

[Redstone]

22. Well, I guess I'll have to send to Penthouse Letters instead.. but no,

I couldn't do that. It's too believable.

Redstone

[Jim Lane]

25. So 42 really IS the answer to the big question about....

life, the Universe, and everything.

[catmother]

26. i can tell you that my number is higher than yours. i had a lot

of action in 4 years. it was "make love not war" and boy i did.:)

[catmother]

13. during the late 60s when i was between husband i slept with

many men. too many to even give a number. does that make me a lesbian?

[Redstone]

23. According to Ann the Man, I suppose it does.

Redstone

[catmother]

24. i just had to laugh. i'll ask my lesbian friend to take me to a

gay bar. lol you never know.
:hi:

[Redstone]

29. Could be fun. And you're never too old to learn something new, yes?

My opinion regarding lesbians and bisexual women (of which my wife is one) is this:

Hey, I like women. Why shouldn't women like women?

Redstone

[catmother]

32. you're absolutely right. you must be very open minded to

have a bisexual wife.

i, personally think it's great to be bisexual. there are so many more choices.

[Redstone]

34. Hey, I married her before she told me about it. What was I going to do,

take back the vows? She is who she is. I love her for who she is, no matter how complicated she may be. And, like I said, what's not to like about women?

Redstone

[catmother]

35. i told you the other night when you posted the skunk story that

you're a good guy. you really are. most men would be completely freaked out. have you been married long?

[Redstone]

40. Together 16 years. Married 11. But we only waited so long to get married

because we wanted to wait until we had enough money to give the wedding guests more than a bag of potato chips and a Pepsi.

You hear of people who are fated for each other. We are. Our romance was so unlikely, if it hadn't actually happened, nobody would have believed it.

You've heard the songs about "swimming the deepest river" and "climbing the highest mountain?" We did that swimming and climbing.

Truth.

Redstone

[catmother]

42. that is so cool. i never had a big wedding either time. the first

one was 1960 and i was pregnant and it was just family and everyone was crying.

the 2nd time around. i had a mexican divorce, my husband a haitian. neither were recognized in new york so we drove down to maryland, applied for a license, came back 2 days later and were married. didn't even need witnesses. on the way home we stopped at a howard johnson's on the jersy turnpike and i remember i ate stuffed peppers.

2 days later my cousin got married. it was one big wedding. my uncle had a business and money and he spared no expense on his only daughter's wedding. we laughed and said we were celebrating ours with them. they broke up about 5 years later. john and i are still together -- 36 years and i don't see it ending until one of us dies.

the laugh is his parents didn't like me. they said "we'll give it a year".

actually we lived together for one year -- his ex wife wouldn't sign for a divorce -- so we went to haiti -- didn't need her consent.

[Redstone]

44. I admire anyone who beats the odds. Especially when the family

is setting the negative odds.

Pass along my respectful regards to your husband, would you?

(PS: Your husband is Haitian? My wife is half Mozambican (not to mention that I'm half American Indian.) Oh, the things you guys must have gone through. Send a few more of my regards to you and your husband.)

Redstone

[catmother]

47. no he's not haitian. haiti was the only place he could get a

unilateral divorce.

my husband has some native american blood, mixed with irish, german and dutch.

we had our ups and downs with his family. his father got to like me, but his mother never, really did. they are both deceased.

my regards to your wife and that little skunk if he's still around. lol

[Redstone]

48. Mr Skunk is doing fine. He drank the water I gave him and pepped up

enough to stroll out of the shed and go on with his skunkish business.

I'm off to bed myself.

Redstone

[catmother]

50. yeah you're on eastern time. it's only 8 pm here. i'm off to watch

some TV. hubby is taking a nap.

[Redstone]

51. Enjoy your evening, m'dear. Tell your hub that 8 PM is a little late to

be taking a nap; he's likely to end up wandering around the house at 3 AM with Lobster Eyes...

Redstone

[catmother]

55. i just saw your reply. my husband sleeps weird hours. he has

never adjusted to mountain time. he wakes up at 4 a.m. then he falls asleep after work for a while and then watches TV -- then back to bed at 9 p.m. on the weekend he takes numerous "cat naps". i, on the other hand, have chronic fatigue syndrome. i go to sleep around 11 pm and get up between 9 and 10 am. it's really funny on the weekend. he's ready for lunch when i've just finished breakfast. if he's back east he wakes up around 7 am. so after 17 years he's still on eastern time.

i let him have all the rest that he needs. he works very hard -- leaves before 6 am -- he's lucky if he's home by 5. he's been with the same company for 37 years. sometimes he has to go in on the weekend or stay at night.

i think part of our good marriage is allowing each other space. we have separate bedrooms. he has sleep apnea and sleeps with a depat? unit which makes more noise than snoring. so we built our house with 2 master suites. most times we watch tv in my bedroom unless it's a DVD then we watch in the living room -- like we're doing tonight.

my friend in new york is almost 49 -- never been married -- he's not gay. he says if and when he gets married he will want the kind of relationship that john and i have. it works for us.

different things work for different people.

well it's getting near 7 pm -- time to start watching the DVD. we lead very simple lives. it was quite different in new york. now we appreciate nice quiet time.

so it's almost your bedtime again. goodnight to you and your wife.

[WePurrsevere]

30. I was wondering the same thing having gone through what a GF of mine

calls a "whore of Babylon" period in between husbands. (I think of it as more of a learning thing and I was a very enthusiastic student. :evilgrin: )

This has got to be one of Ann's more absurd statements... although saying that Bill Clinton is gay ranks way up there. :crazy:

[catmother]

33. i have absolutely no regrets. now that i'm older i t's nice to have

those memories.

[everythingsxen]

16. Well...

it depends on how attractive you are and how rich you are.

If you are poor/ugly say I dunno... 2 women a year per year times your age over 14, then knock 25% off the total (old flames you revisited)

If you are rich/handsome double the number.

If you are geek/nerd/neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie you can say that you only had sex with a few women.

Personally I am straight and get away with saying I have only had sex with one woman, ever. :hi:

[dsc]

18. Well I am going to have to take the fifth on this

after all I may need to actually find the women someday.

[China_cat]

27. The number you tell about is

ZERO.

When anybody asks you, you smile enigmatically, raise an eyebrow and say 'a gentleman never tells'. If pressed you toss off 'those who do, do; those who don't, brag.'

[rurallib]

31. You talking at one time or at separate times?

I try to keep it down to 5 or 6 at one time.
As for the Whiff of the bathhouse - well - that's a bit out there for me, but I'd wear a raincap if I were you.

[rurallib]

45. What did Wilt Chamberlain have? 20,000?

but I think he was a latent homosexual just as AnnMan described Clinton.

[bklyncowgirl]

36. Wowser, apparently you have to sleep with more than Bill Clinton

Better get busy, my friend. Very very busy.

[ContraBass Black]

39. In that case, none of us are straight.

:D

[bklyncowgirl]

43. To quote that great wordsmith G.W. Bush....

It's hard work.

[ContraBass Black]

38. Well, I'm hetero and a virgin by choice.

So, um, ah...

[karlrschneider]

41. 42

That's the answer to just about everything.


:D :D :D

[EFerrari]

49. Now, there's a whole new context for 42.

:rofl:

[karlrschneider]

52. The damn Galaxy is shrinking, it seems...

:D

[niyad]

46. 8--the number of infinite possibility in tarot and numerology.

[leftofthedial]

53. one

[EFerrari]

54. It's not how many but who, it's who!

Think of your resume. :)