Katrina Analogy Revisited-Castro Attacks Miami

[xkenx]

Fidel Castro Announces Attack on Miami

Friday, August 26, 2005: Today, Fidel Castro announced that, since there are so many Cubans in Miami, he is going to send gunships and troops under the cover of his air force to annex. the city of Miami and make the city a Province of Cuba on Monday, August 29. President Bush, on vacation in Crawford, Texas, had no comment. But Scott McClellan, the President's Press Secretary, said that the President was confident that the local contingency plans for police, fire and the 200 local Florida National Guardsmen not in Iraq are sufficient to repel the invaders. The Mayor of Miami issues an evacuation order, but human nature being what it is, many people do not leave out of fear of leaving their homes unprotected, or their pets behind, or just don't believe Castro would attack. Many others don't have cars or can't afford transportation, or find that the planes and buses are already filled to capacity.

Saturday, August 27, 2005: Reconnaissance satellites report an armada of Cuban warships assembling in Cuban harbors. Attempts to reach President Bush failed; he was said to be chopping wood somewhere on his ranch. Vice President Cheney was rumored to be vacationing in Wyoming. When asked whether Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice was attempting diplomatic solutions, Mr.McClellan responded that Ms. Rice was taking a well-earned vacation in New York and needed to go shopping at Ferragamo's for shoes.

Sunday, August 28, 2005: Fidel Castro demands that Miami surrender
peacefully or he will unleash "the dogs of war the next day." His armada is observed sailing towards Miami. The Miami Police Department calls up every officer, the National Guard Armory is staffed, police boats are positioned in the harbor. President Bush was unavailable for comment; a staffer said he was resting on Sunday.

Monday, August 29, 2005: Under cover of the Cuban Air Force, Cuban commandos storm the waterfront of Miami and quickly overwhelm the Miami Police and local National Guard troops, and proceed to fan out through the city. President Bush announces through his Press Secretary that Mr. Chertoff, head of homeland security was looking into the possibility of calling up troops and air support from outside of Miami. Condoleeza Rice was seen returning four pairs of shoes that did not fit properly, and replacing them with others.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005: Castro announces that his forces will kill 1000 civilians a day until Miami is ceded to Cuba. His troops proceed to massacre 1000 people that day. President Bush orders Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to help Chertoff organize a response to the assault, and leaves his ranch to attend a fundraiser in Utah.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005: Cuban forces systematically destroy power stations and kill 1000 more civilians. President Bush reluctantly cuts short his vacation and flies back to Washington.
All attempts to reach Mr. Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Ms. Rice fail.

Thursday, September 1, 2005: Having destroyed most of Miami, Cuban forces suddenly pull back to their ships and depart. Castro announces that with the destruction of Miami, he is satisfied with the mission, but could not afford to be occupiers.

Friday, September 2, 2005: President Bush announces through a spokesperson that Federal troops and National Guard personnel are on the way to Miami. The President made it clear that it was the responsibility of the local officials in Miami to have been better prepared for the attack they knew was coming. The President said that, with Miami so close to Cuba, it was inevitable that an attack would come someday, and the locals should stop complaining that they were overwhelmed by a vastly superior force.

Saturday, September 3, 2005: Castro meets with his advisors who urge him to consider taking over the United States while Bush is still president.

[autorank]

1. Tomorrows news today...this is excellent K&R

"The President made it clear that it was the responsibility of the local officials in Miami to have been better prepared for the attack they knew was coming. The President said that, with Miami so close to Cuba, it was inevitable that an attack would come someday, and the locals should stop complaining that they were overwhelmed by a vastly superior force."

And the President's mistress was heard to say, "Oh, the people have no food, let them eat Gravy Train."

[Synnical]

2. Well Done!

Thanks.

:kick:

[xkenx]

3. I thought it was an interesting way

to counter the blockhead apologists for B**h.

[Synnical]

4. Kick, again

:-(