Bush Urges Nation To Be Quiet For A Minute While He Tries To Think (Onion)

[kpete]

From "The Onion"

Bush Urges Nation To Be Quiet For A Minute While He Tries To Think
August 30, 2006

WASHINGTON, DC—In a nationally televised address Monday, President Bush urged all citizens, regardless of race, creed, color, or political affiliation, "to quiet down for just one minute" so he could have "a chance to think."

................

Bush then closed his speech by exhaling sharply, tightly closing his eyes, and massaging his temples. "I just—Christ, I just need a goddamn minute, you know?" he said.

....................

Assuring the public it "can make as much noise as wants" as soon as the Bush-proposed national minute of silence concludes, Chief Of Staff Josh Bolten said that the White House was making "every effort" to accommodate Bush's wishes.

"Currently, the president's calls are being bounced back to the West Wing call center, and all televisions and radios on White House property have been switched off," said Bolten, who added that staffers moved Bush family dog Barney from the Oval Office after Bush called the Scottish terrier's heavy panting "intolerable."

more at:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/52106

[MADem]

1. Well, that is a switch from his usual "LET ME FINISH!!!"

Which I always thought was an admonition to Rove, hiding behind the curtain, and whispering instructions into a microphone that sends his utterings to the Monkey's earpiece...!

[Kali]

2. they do well but it hard to satirize something so awful as these

assholes.

[Fierce]

3. Very funny.

As good as the one they did on Bush visiting the Fermi lab and modestly pointing out an error in calculations. Hilar.

[KansDem]

5. Here's my favorite Onion article...

Bush Regales Dinner Guests With Impromptu Oratory On Virgil's Minor Works
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28498?issue=4228&special=2001

I laugh every time I read this...:D

[The Deacon]

8. Yeah, Well, He Did

Finally get around to reading The Stranger by Camus - a book most of us probably read either as seniors in high school or freshman in college (and I'll bet I'm not the only one on the Board who has read it in the original)

[Fierce]

10. Hee!

That's how I feel about the Fermilab one. When I get depressed about the whole thing, this article cheers me every time:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38718

[KansDem]

11. Thanks!

:rofl:

I'll add this one to my collection of "things that make me smile..."

[bdamomma]

4. is article for real?

if it is this guy has got to go, because we will never stay quiet.

[liberal N proud]

6. It is the Onion

Satire

I know we could believe it because with bu$h anything like this is possible

[leftyladyfrommo]

7. The Onion just writes funny, farce stuff.

I'm sure it's not real.

Although, he does such dumb stuff that this could actually happen.

[bdamomma]

9. geez, you never know with this guy, but again he just ignores

us.