That... Is Some Sad-Assed Shit Right There...

[WillyT]

Logan, 3, and Justin Holbrook, 14, rode to dinner with the life-size cutout
of their father, Lieutenant Colonel Randall Holbrook,
a Maine National Guardsman from Hermon, Maine.

Guard families cope in two dimensions
`Flat Daddy' cutouts ease longing
By Brian MacQuarrie, Globe Staff | August 30, 2006

<snip>

Maine National Guard members in Iraq and Afghanistan are never far from the thoughts of their loved ones.

But now, thanks to a popular family-support program, they're even closer.

Welcome to the ``Flat Daddy" and ``Flat Mommy" phenomenon, in which life-size cutouts of deployed service members are given by the Maine National Guard to spouses, children, and relatives back home.

The Flat Daddies ride in cars, sit at the dinner table, visit the dentist, and even are brought to confession, according to their significant others on the home front.

``I prop him up in a chair, or sometimes put him on the couch and cover him up with a blanket," said Kay Judkins of Caribou, whose husband, Jim, is a minesweeper mechanic in Afghanistan. ``The cat will curl up on the blanket, and it looks kind of weird. I've tricked several people by that. They think he's home again."

<snip>



Link: http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2006/08/30/guard_families_cope_in_two_dimensions/

I really hope it helps the kids, but Jesus, man...

:wow:

[Bluebear]

1. Ay yi yi. Does the Mrs. take "flat daddy" to bed?

Never mind.

[Deja Q]

14. Well, that creates a visual I won't soon forget...

Talk about being stiff as a board... :scared:

[MetaTrope]

28. Reminds me of this one

[gully]

33. Let's hope if she's into "flats," she takes "flat Brad Pitt" to bed while

flat daddy's - away. :evilgrin:

[Syrinx]

2. this HAS to be from The Onion

Right? Right?

[WillyT]

4. Nope... Boston Globe...

:shrug:

[Syrinx]

5. Satire is archaic, I'm afraid

I challenge The Onion to come up with things that are half as stupid and weird as reality these days.

[swimmernsecretsea]

6. It makes me wonder

if the staffers at the Onion spend quite a bit of time vetoing stories as "too much like regular news."

Man this is just bizarre. What next--a robot with a tv screen face that plays prerecorded video? Wait...

[RebelOne]

7. CNN did a segment on it this weekend.

[magellan]

3. That is really sad

Families driven to this? They've been gone long enough. Bring them home!!

[cboy4]

8. Considering Bush's goal is to dominate the world, he's going to need

cut-outs to enlist before long. :crazy:

[readmoreoften]

9. For fucks sake, stop lying to these people and bring the parents home.

Not "Bring the Boys Back Home" anymore. It's "Bring the Parents Home."

Flat Daddies for a Flat Earth Nation.

[Joanne98]

18. Bush has nothing but contempt for the human race...

This is so insulting. I would slap someone for offering a cut-out to me.

[darkmaestro019]

10. You're missing the implications! This could solve everything!

1) Make a flat Dubya
2) Send IT to any large meetings, affairs of state, diplomatic trips. Stand it at podiums and play pre-recorded speeches--there are a few impersonators who could do it FOR him
3) Send Dubya to Crawford or on a fishing boat where he can't embarass anyone else or do any more damage.

The cutout will have much better manners, snappier conversational style, and far less of a tendency to grope people or make fart jokes.

[truth2power]

26. Flat Dubya...LOL! Awesome post. n/t

[Olney Blue]

38. Flat Bush closeout sale- EVERYTHING MUST GO

[Horse with no Name]

11. Bizarre.

Flat Stanley taken to a new level.

[enough]

12. Send the flat Daddies and Mommies to Iraq and bring the round ones home.

[sendero]

13. Bingo....

.. a win-win solution!

[Joanne98]

15. LOL! Good one. The flat daddie draft!

[otohara]

29. Good Idea

Send more, say....400,000 and confuse the Iraqi's.

[leftchick]

16. I find the clothing the children are in

almost as repulsive. WTF is wrong with these people.

[Joanne98]

19. Wife-beating syndrome....

[GeorgeGist]

17. Trick or treat

:puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece: :puffpiece:

[DemonFighterLives]

20. That is weird

I suppose it is better than imaginary friends, but I don't know.
The war needs to end and I don't mean shift to Iran. Soon this is all these people will have is a damn cardboard daddy.
And dubby smirks.
:dem:

[TheFriedPiper]

21. Can I get one for the HOV lane?

I mean, interstate highway traffic in Atlanta is as dangerous as combat at times!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

22. That's bizarre as hell.

And of course, it comes from Maine. ;)

[elehhhhna]

23. Rove must have invented FlatDaddy. It's always all about

photo ops. Always.

[Straight Shooter]

24. I can understand having one somewhere in the home.

It's no different than a large photo on the wall, not really. But to take it to dinner? That's a bit on the odd side, yes.

Different strokes for different folks and all that ...

[sarcasmo]

25. I want to say something so bad about this but I will keep my mouth

shut

[RC]

31. Spill it man...

Confession is good for the soul. :evilgrin:

[Jed Dilligan]

27. Image is everything. nt

[SlavesandBulldozers]

30. Fake elections, fake president, fake war.

all of this leads to fake family members.

what about the ones that die over there? do you have to get subscription for yearly flat daddies to be sent?

[Bragi]

32. Subsciptions!

Questions abound. Is Flat Daddy patented?

[REACTIVATED IN CT]

34. This was on public radio recently

They said they include the flat daddies in photos at family gatherings and send them to them so they won't feel left out. Maynbe it just me, but I would feel worse seeing where I should have been.

[AspenRose]

35. My heart is breaking.

And I'm mad as hell. :nuke:

This is sick.

[WillyT]

36. Kick !!!

:kick:

[neebob]

37. Meanwhile, back at Jesus Camp,

or Kids On Fire Camp or whatever it's called, aspiring fundy preacher kids pray in front of a cardboard cutout of George W. Bush for stuff that'll keep the flat-daddy program going forever. Sad, ironic, fucked up ...

[flvegan]

39. What's that in Justin's hand? And why not make them blow-up dolls?

Hell, at least they'd be three dimensional, since all that seems to matter is the image of the person.

Neither one of those kids looks too happy with this...

[WillyT]

40. Last Kick From Me !!!

:kick: