C.I.A. confirms voice on tape is bush:

[mopaul]

The Central Intelligence Agency released excerpts from an audio tape with a voice believed to be that of president george w. bush. Voice analysis experts confirmed the voice as authentic. Here is an excerpt:

-----------So after I took office, we cut taxes on everyone who pays income taxes -- leaving more money in the hands of workers and families and giving small businesses more resources to expand and hire. We increased the tax incentives for small businesses to invest in new equipment, and we cut taxes on dividends and capital gains. We also put the death tax on the road to extinction because farmers and small business owners should not be taxed twice after a lifetime of work.
----------------

However they immediately pointed out that the wording and pronunciations were troubling because they don't sound like president bush's normal speech patterns. "There is a complete lack of the words, 'uuhhh', and 'duuhhh' in the tape, and the words are all spelled and pronounced correctly, which led to doubts about it's authenticity.

"We feel the president was actually reading words written by someone else, but we don't want to speculate who exactly", said Agent Mike Brownschnoz. The expert consensus is that the president was being forced to read the speech at the point of a gun after being tortured.

"We confirm that it's the president's voice, because of the hundreds of glaring misleading falsehoods and obfuscations common in his speech patterns".

In the message the president stated that the economy was recovering swiftly and robustly and that prosperity is just around the corner. "Sometimes you have to wonder if this guy is on the same planet as us", said an anonymous official.

[DanCa]

1. Lol Mopaul it's too early. I need caffine. :D

[w8liftinglady]

2. LOL!! too funny.

:rofl:

[bigbrother05]

3. The stuff just writes itself (I know you are but what am I?)

Anything they say or do is the result of projection. They know how they would react, so attribute those motives to others. They know what tricks/stunts they would try, so expect others to do the same. They are textbook sociopaths.

[Hubert Flottz]

4. They were so right about Saddam's yellow cake...

how could they be wrong about anything?

[WHAT]

5. whynot

n/t

[bigtree]

6. This shows why we should continue our 'war on Bush'

we will never negotiate with him.

we will use all resources available to track him and his accomplices down and disrupt his network.

we'll do our duty to protect this country by not only bringing justice to an enemy that wants to do us harm, but by spreading freedom and democracy here in America again.

[mopaul]

7. we will not retreat until the enemy is defeated & america is safe again

we will fight them here, so we don't have to go to gitmo.

[McKenzie]

8. hahahaaa...copied and saved...good one mopaul n/t

[awoke_in_2003]

9. Good one, Mopaul

first laugh of the night, I mean morning (god, i hate graveyard shift)

[Swamp Rat]

10. Did he have a German accent?

"I know nussink!"

[jhain]

11. Agent Mike Brownschnoz

BAWHAHAHAHHAHAHA

That would have been coffee on the monitor had I poured myself one yet!!

Thanks! True genius comic relief does wonders........

[CrazyOrangeCat]

12. Thanks for the laugh

When we were all kids, did we ever think we'd have a preznit who doesn't read, AND SAYS 'DUHHH' ALL THE TIME???

We've come a long way from "Profiles of Courage" . . .

More coffee, now that I've had a laugh . . .

[mopaul]

13. uhh, the economy is pre-stabalized, duuhhh, terr is on the march, uuhhh

[madokie]

14. Too cool, thanks

[bridgit]

15. complete lack of the use of the term "heck of'ah (fill in blank)" too...

:rofl:

[bridgit]

16. heehee = dupe...

:rofl: