Conservative Bashing (Saturday Night Humor)

[true_notes]

Hear Hear,

Ladies and Gentlemen, let it be heard, The Conservative Bashing by true_notes. Written and Announced this day of 9 September 2006 in order to form a better Union of the United States of America.

We, as a collective fight the evils of this country and of this world. In this courageous battle, we often find ourselves fighting nothing but brutes on the right plane of our political existence. This, my friends is why the writings of our Constition, laws and speeches of all our patriotic men and women shall be held to the highest standard, the Liberal Standard.

To put down the threat of the terrible conservative, the rules of liberals are simple. The liberal is not a beast, but an intelligent robot who computes only the right decisions. Not the right decisions as in conservative, but right decisions as in correct decisions.

It is by these guidelines that I(true notes)has composed some rules for us to follow.

1.For activism purposes, go to the DMV and request that all red lights in your town be changed to blue lights, because the red light makes the stop light look dumb.

2.Ask your Republican Congressman to explain why the Republican logo isn't the feces of an elephant.

3.Demonstrate against Rush Limbaugh's conservation record from soul harvesting.

4.Attend your local church and explain the direct relationship of Satan and the Republican Party.

5.Throw a Rick Santorum based party in your basement. Many will show, few will stay.

6.Attend a Republican press conference and keep asking if George Bush's ears were clipped as a child.

7.Consult Professor Stephen Hawkings, and ask him to explain the black hole in George Bush's brain.

9.Try to explain to a European nation why your high school class president has a lead on Bush in Job Approval Ratings.

10.Ask a Conservative to explain why his government is worse than Dick Cheney's aiming.

11.Demand to know why Bush named his horses War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death.

12.Ask Laura Bush where her clown paint store is located.

13.Do an investigation into how George Bush turned America into one large "The People Under the Stairs" dystopia.

14.When you hear of Ecological improvements under the Bush administration, check under a conservatives sofa pillow for adverse opinions.

15.When talking on religion, ask a conservative if he can recite lines from the Bible. The only thing that will come out of his mouth are passages from the NRA handbook or the Turner Diaries.

Thank you and good night.

true_notes