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Independent_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 09:12 PM
Original message
Check out my satire...
Edited on Mon Sep-11-06 09:17 PM by Independent_Liberal
Let's hope for this. ;)

October 13, 2006

GOP CRIPPLED? 23 REPUBLICAN LAWMAKERS INDICTED IN ABRAMOFF AND “DUKE” CUNNINGHAM CRIMINAL PROBES

The Department of Justice, the FBI, the Criminal Division and Federal Prosecutors weren’t given in trouble in the plea deals of convicted GOP lobbyist Jack Abramoff and convicted former GOP Representative Randy “Duke” Cunningham. The two men along with Abramoff partner Adam Kidan, former Tom DeLay Chiefs of Staff Michael Scanlon and Tony Rudy, former CIA Director Porter Goss and Mitchell Wade gave up all the information that Federal Investigators needed in the investigations. This week in October saw one of the biggest corruption scandals in American history. A total of 23 Republicans were indicted on numerous counts of conspiracy, fraud, theft, bribery, wire fraud, tax evasion, money laundering and grand larceny. 8 charged in the Abramoff case were Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert, Representatives Bob Ney, Richard Pombo, Roy Blunt, John Doolittle, Dana Rohrabacher, Tom Feeney and Senator Conrad Burns. Representatives Duncan Hunter, Katherine Harris, Virgil Goode, Brian Bilbray and Louis Gohmert were among 15 charged in the “Duke” Cunningham bribery case that also involved San Diego Businessman Brent Wilkes, MZM Inc., defense contractors and hooker and poker parties at the Watergate Hotel. The two scandals have caused a major uproar in Washington and the political scene. 22 of the lawmakers charged all resigned in disgrace and have announced that they are not running for re-election in November. The Democrats’ chances of winning back the House and the Senate just got better. Representative Harris was quoted as saying she’s staying in her Senate race against incumbent Florida Democratic Senator Bill Nelson. “I’ll still win this race,” Harris said. But many conservative pundits don’t seem as optimistic.

The two scandals exposed corruption in DC unlike anything anybody has seen since Watergate, Iran-Contra, BCCI and the Savings and Loans scandal of the late 1980s. The Abramoff case drew in many items such as defrauded Indian tribes, lobbying firms, gaming casinos, the Florida SunCruz investigation, prostitution rings and pedophiles that several GOP operatives had been keeping secret for years, heroin trafficking involving the CIA, illegal arms trafficking involving Turkey, foreign influence peddling in Russia, Enron, Representative Ney’s golf outings in Scotland, allegations of voting fraud committed in the 2000, 2002 and 2004 elections using electronic voting machines by the company Diebold which was previously run by Bush loyalist Wally O'Dell, the 2001 murder of Florida businessman Konstantinos “Gus” Boulis which was believed to be a mob hit, past allegations of mysterious appearances of terrorists with ties to al Qaeda at casinos in Florida before the 9/11 attacks, the American Turkish Council and Philippine spy espionage involving U.S. Marine and FBI analyst Leandro Aragoncillo. The scandal also extends into the states of New Hampshire, Ohio, Kentucky and Texas. A GOP security aide testified against several Republican lawmakers in Court in the New Hampshire phone-jamming scheme pointing to malfeasance in the state during the 2002 midterm election. It was revealed that Ohio Secretary of State Kenneth Blackwell owns stocks in Halliburton which Vice President Dick Cheney was formerly the CEO of. Many pundits believe this will hurt his chances in November in the race for Governor of Ohio. Indicted Ohio Governor Bob Taft and indicted Kentucky Governor Ernie Fletcher have both admitted that they received money Abramoff’s firm and former GOP House Leader Tom DeLay’s Texas political action committee Americans for a Republican Majority which was linked to Abramoff. The two governors are preparing for long jail terms. Texas GOP Senator John Cornyn was also indicted on bribery charges by Austin, Texas District Attorney Ronnie Earle. Mr. Earle announced that Senator Cornyn had accepted tainted campaign money from Abramoff and DeLay’s political action committee.

The Securities & Exchanged Commission has also charged Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist for insider trading involving a stock sale. Senator Frist was forced to step down from his position as Majority Leader. Many conservatives have said this effectively killed any chances he had of being the GOP nominee for President in 2008.

The Democrats have spoken out on the latest developments and indictments.

Senator Minority Leader Harry Reid: “It’s absolutely a disgrace. Who would’ve thought the Republicans could become so corrupt? Those who stepped down did the honorable thing.”

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi: “Let this be an example to all politicians. If you break the law and keep fighting it, the law will always win in the end.”

The Democrats have their eyes set on big victories in November.

When President Bush was asked about all members of his own party who were charged in all the investigations, the President was quoted as saying, “What? Duncan who? Ney what? No, I don’t recall.”

Voters are outraged everywhere. Many people who have long been registered Republicans have said that they are so disgusted by how low their party has sunk that they plan to re-register as Democrats and Independents and vote Democrat in the November elections. All in all, it shows that Americans are definitely ready for a change.
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autorank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 10:12 PM
Response to Original message
1. Bookmarked...K&R You write the future news very well, "future perfect"
should be the term. What prosecutor wants to go down as saviour of democracy, the greatest lawyer in the history of the United States of America. Wonderful stuff, and very well written.

We'll check in at the end of October.

Excellent work!!!
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Independent_Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-11-06 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Nathaniel Edmonds. He's the prosecutorial hero.
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