Dear CNN: Bring Out The BLUE DRESS TEAM!

[dbt]

Guys,

I've been watching your coverage of the Foley Sex Scandal and, frankly, I'm less than impressed. We both know that there's a ratings BONANZA to be harvested from this sorry business and you're just sitting on your asses! This is no time to be timid, boys and girls. This is THE single biggest news story since Clinton got his goob gobbled in the Oval Office and lied about it on TV. THIS is something the viewing public can get its tiny, addled brain AROUND--and you're letting it get away! I KNOW you cannot abide the thought of the Big Three or MSNBC or--God Forbid!--Fox getting ahead of you on this Story Of The Century. That's why I'm glad to tell you that THERE'S STILL TIME TO JUMP!

More good news: this will NOT require a large investment of time or money. All you have to do is trot out the same passel of tut-tutters and tongue-cluckers you used back in the Great Clinton Penis Hunt. You remember: those Guardians Of American Morality who THUNDERED night and day from your digital pulpit about how Clinton lying over a blowjob would be the End Of The World As We Know It unless he was Brought To Justice. Dear God, you could get Bill Bennett, Newt Gingrich and Henry (Youthful Indiscretion) Hyde for a TENTH of what they cost you a decade ago! BONUS: Asa (The Original Smirk) Hutchinson is just tooling around Bumfuck, Arkansas, at this very moment--DESPERATELY looking for ANY sort of publicity to help his flagging GOOBERnatorial campaign. I bet he'd pay YOU for a few minutes of airtime!

So far, all you're doing is TIPTOEING around the edges of this Grave Constitutional Crisis. You're tossing around mealy-mouthed, mincing little phrases like "It would seem to appear" and "the implications might be." You're wasting precious TIME, kiddos. You KNOW the motherfucker is guilty--just the same way you KNEW IT ABOUT CLINTON. JUMP, damn it! Do you just want ABC to race to Number One while you dither about whether or not this is BIG NEWS? I don't think so!

Remember when it was BILL CLINTON IN THE CROSSHAIRS? You did not hesitate for a microsecond. You were out in front of everybody and everything--INCLUDING the facts. Hell, you didn't need no stinkin' FACTS, what You had was a STORY! Well, Divine Providence has just handed you ANOTHER story--one that makes Clinton look like a freakin' CHOIRBOY!

It's got EVERYTHING, gang: sex, lies, sex, coverup, GAY SEX, tighty whities, sex and pedo-goddamn-PHILIA, Sweet Bleeding Jesus! (Did I mention sex?)

You wanna show those pussies at CBS how news is DONE? You wanna bury FOX once and for all? Get on this thing the way you got on Bill Clinton and it's The Fast Lane To Glory! You KNOW you can do it, so

Let's Roll!

:evilgrin:
dbt
Remember New Orleans

[Delphinus]

1. Sometime over the weekend,

during his seclusion, he decided alcohol was a determining factor and had to check himself into rehab. Problem's all solved now ... nothing to see here. (barf) :sarcasm:

[KharmaTrain]

10. That Didn't Stop 'Em on Patrick Kennedy

Let's show that picture of his crashed car yet again. Let's find out what was in his system at his arrest...ah, to hell with it, we'll have our own "experts" assume what he had consumed...and then when me says its a substance abuse problem, then it's just confirmation of what a weak character he is.

Now that's how they do it to a Democrat.

Well now I guess we'll need to pass bill prohibiting alcohol (assuming that's the rehab he checked himself into), since this must mean his drinking caused him to go after young boys.

Amazing what you can spin when you don't care about facts or integrity.

Cheers

[GeorgeGist]

12. Did he decide that...

he was a gay pedophile before or after he became an alcoholic?

[lostnotforgotten]

2. Sums It Up Well!

[ClintonTyree]

3. Blue Blazer........

in this instance. By the standards set by themselves this does NOT bode well for Republican politics in the near future.

[malaise]

4. LOL

Great letter :D

[Hugin]

5. They didn't bite on Gannoguckerwhatzizname?

What's wrong with the media? Isn't this sweeps?

[Ganja Ninja]

6. Exactly! Where is the 24/7 resignation watch that they had for ...

Gary Condit and Bill Clinton? There are eleven GOP members of congress that knew about this and did nothing. These are people that tout themselves as being of high moral standards. Where's the outrage they expressed for Democrats who's only offense was adultery?

[Hugin]

8. I'm waiting for the Connie Chung interview before I make up my mind...

:rofl:

[proud2BlibKansan]

7. Did you see Soledad this morning?

She ripped Tony Snow a new one.

[Toot]

18. I love Soledad.

That was great wasn't it. Tony actually looked upset.

[proud2BlibKansan]

20. Yes she nailed him good

LOL

[goclark]

19. Missed that part, is there a video link?

I saw her talking later to a guest that said, " This scandal is not really about GW, it's a local issue."

[JNelson6563]

9. Too funny!

That was hilarious! :rofl:

So glad I didn't happen to be drinking coffe while I read that. :toast:

Julie

[madame defarge]

11. Oh but this is *ever* so different...

It doesn't involve a *blow-job*. :sarcasm:

I got into a conversation with a wingnut yesterday about this very matter. She insisted that what Bill did was so much worse. I continued to state the fact that Monica was a consenting adult in her 20's & these boys were teenagers!!!

We just have to keep after them relentlessly. Never give an inch!!!

[The Count]

15. How would you know?

[Ninga]

13. Outstanding! Any chance you would be willing to send a similiar verson to

IMUS?????

I REMEMBER DURING MONICA GATE - EVERYTIME AN AUDIO CLIP OF CLINTON WAS PLAYED - IMUS WOULD PUNCH THE BUTTON FOR THE "SCREAM" "EXPLOSION" AND BLOW CLINTON UP.

[BlueEyedSon]

14. I hope you really sent this, if not it's such a *tease*!

[flyarm]

16. dbt thank you you started my day off with a laugh..but oh so true!!

giggling here with my first cup of coffee!!

thanks...

fly

[flyarm]

17. k&R

[dbt]

21. A public apology for the use of the P-Word in this post!

If I could edit that, um, sucker out of the OP right now, I would. Please note that it was not inserted to offend anyone or to break any of the DU Rules. FYI: I have seen a few Media Consultant Memoranda in my time and such language would not be uncommon.

As the Pugs would say, I'm sorry if anyone took offense. We now return you to your regularly scheduled Pogrom.

:yoiks:
dbt
Remember New Orleans

[Ripley]

25. Woosey.

:P

[FourScore]

22. K&R

:kick: :rofl:

[Justice Is Comin]

23. Tongue cluckers lol.

Yes, we don't even plan to spend more than 20 million dollars to investigate. But thar's gold in them thar IMs. This could be called the black pants.

Roll those reporters.

[tomreedtoon]

24. Meanwhile, the Democrats bring out the Pink Tutu Team.

"Scandal? We'll help you forget the scandal, Daddy Dubya!"

Point being: if the Democratic Party is too frightened or timid to make hay about this scandal, why should the Media bother doing it?

[meuniermr]

26. Well Im surprised;

Scarborough on MSNBC; No "but Clinton" from Pat Buchanan, etc. Instead its but..but..but Gerry Studds! And of course blame the victim.

[Jack Rabbit]

27. It's not news when Republicans do it.

!!