StraightDope
(716 posts)
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Mon Oct-02-06 06:30 PM
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Our God (R-Heaven) is an awesome God! |
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He tortures people in Heaven above. He smites the gays that incur His wrath. Bloodshed is His favorite way to relax. He hates liberals. His Son Jesus was a liberal, so God hates him. He loves nothing more than war and chaos. He commands his followers to start wars. He rubs his hands together with glee when a child is raped. He will Rapture us to spare us the suffering of the Godless sodomites.
Can anyone think of other attributes of God (R-Heaven)?
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TwentyFive
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Mon Oct-02-06 06:35 PM
Response to Original message |
1. He killed the harmless animals during the big flood. |
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Why did god kill all the sparrows? Any god that kills songbirds, is no god of mine.
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jrw14125
(378 posts)
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Mon Oct-02-06 06:52 PM
Response to Original message |
2. um, you forgot one thing... |
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...Jesus and God are one and the same. Or, they're part of the hooooolllllly trinity, along with the hooooollllllly spirit. Or, he's God's only begotten son, who talked with God - so, right, they must be separate. Or, god and Jesus are one and the same, and God/Jesus talks to himself. Maybe God has SPD and requires medication... But then, Jesus is supposed to be seated at the right hand of God, his father, so they must be separate. Or, maybe God is "beside himself," so maybe they are one and the same. Maybe God's just trying to find himself. And since he's beside himself, he can't see himself because he has tunnel vision?
Sorry, I know this wasn't very inciteful, but I had fun.
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Poppyseedman
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Mon Oct-02-06 07:05 PM
Response to Original message |
3. He smites people who write insipid posts about him |
htuttle
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Mon Oct-02-06 07:09 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
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Right here, right now. Smite me.
For that matter, I make the same dare to any 'devil' down there, or any other god of any religion -- show me what you got, suckas! You want a piece of me deity? Come down here and get some!
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Poppyseedman
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Mon Oct-02-06 07:14 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
6. Sometimes you need to be careful what you ask for. |
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You aren't the first person to challenge God and get an answer you were not expecting.
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htuttle
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Mon Oct-02-06 07:15 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
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(tap, tap, tapping foot...)
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n2doc
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Mon Oct-02-06 07:14 PM
Response to Original message |
5. When Johnua went into Canaan after Moses died |
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God ordered that Joshua kill a soldier that had taken some loot from Jericho (where the walls fell down). But he didn't stop there. He had Joshua kill the Soldier's wife, and children, as well. Some god.
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StraightDope
(716 posts)
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Mon Oct-02-06 07:54 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
8. That's God (R-Heaven) for you... |
n2doc
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Tue Oct-03-06 10:35 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
9. God (R-Heaven) is Old Testament |
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God (L-Love) New Testament. Guess which one the fundies love most?
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DU
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Sat May 04th 2024, 11:22 AM
Response to Original message |