A Freeper's prayer for *. Warning extremely violent vomet alert

[Botany]

:puke: Swimming in the Kool Aid

Dear Lord, we lift up our brother, George W. Bush, and ask that You would fill him with Your love and bless him in all that he does. Help him to truly be Your disciple, that he might radiate the love of Jesus Christ in everything, and bring honor and glory to You as he serves this country and You. We ask that he might be guided in each of the decisions he must make; that he would be able to discern what is Your will for his life and for the life of this nation. Keep him humble before You and deep in Your word and in prayer. Guide his steps each day, and help him especially now as he prepares the State of the Union message, that he would say those things that would be pleasing to You, and that what he says would be clearly understood by the people of this nation. Lord, it is an opportunity for him to get beyond the media bias that is ugly and deceitful, and we pray that You would grant him great power and strength that he might communicate clearly and profoundly the direction that this nation must go.


Dear Father, we also continue to lift up our brave men and women in the military, especially those who are in harm's way, or those who are preparing to go, or have returned home. Protect those who are in theatre, that they might return safely to their homes. We pray that the enemy that is so evil and vicious might be finally destroyed. We are encouraged, dear Lord, that the people are rising up to fight the terrorists, and we would ask that You would guide in this new democracy, that true freedom might abound. We know, dear Lord, that in that freedom, there will also be opportunity for Your word to be spread among those who have known only spiritual darkness, and we pray that that might come about soon.


And finally, Lord, we lift up this nation to You. We are thankful that Judge Alito will be presented on the Senate floor tomorrow. We would ask for Your presence in that chamber, that Satan might be bound and that those who seek to do further damage to Alito's reputation, and to the President and to America, might be silenced, and that the American people would be able to see the truth about what the Democrats are seeking to do. We ask You to forgive us our sins as a nation, dear Lord, and we bow before You in repentance and prayer, asking that You would cleanse us from sin, and restore us to Your throne this day. All these things we ask in the strong and loving name of Jesus, who is the Christ, Amen!

[Inland]

1. Lord, smitest thou Theodore Kennedy.....

[LittleClarkie]

25. I just literally laughed out loud at that

Thanks. I needed it.

[Proud2BAmurkin]

31. .

:rofl:

[madeline_con]

2. Where's a lightning bolt when you need one? n/t

[Viva_La_Revolution]

14. ...

:evilgrin:

[yknot]

3. Dear Lord smite *

Ah men

[Surya Gayatri]

4. Well, everybody knows Gawd

is just another political hack, there to do the bidding of the RNC!!! SG

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. Eww. These people are messed up.

:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

[marmar]

6. Es un hombre loco...

Where do these people come from?

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

[MakeItSo]

7. Jesus was a radical socialist peace activist

I'd love to hear the conversation between Jesus and Bush if they were stuck on an elevator.

[C_U_L8R]

8. Sheer vanity

These faux prayers are the work of feeble minds and vain hearts.

God laughs at fools like freeps.

[Charlie Brown]

9. Oh, boo-hoo, the Dems are picking on Saint Alito

I have a feeling this dude probably doesn't even think Alito is a real Chrisitan, since he's Catholic.

[1620rock]

18. The Lord said "I will not be mocked"...

Me thinks these creeps make mock of the Lord. The Devil must be stoking the special white hot coals in anticipation of receiving people of this ilk. :evilfrown:

[Rocknrule]

10. "There is no god but Gawd, and W is His prophet!"

:puke:

[mwb970]

11. What a weird "prayer".

Even after all this time, it strikes me as very strange to see the "Dear Lord", "forgive us our sins", "loving name of Jesus" type of grandiose other-worldly religious cliches all mixed in with decidedly prosaic here-and-now references to Bush, Alito, "the troops", etc.

This free-form mixing of religion and politics seems deeply wrong and ill-advised to me. Isn't this exactly what the Islamic extremists that have us quaking in fear do?

[C_U_L8R]

13. It's an invocation .. not a prayer

more akin to witchcraft.
They are invoking Jesus to do their bidding.
Uh oh
Poor shithead freeps are going to hell for that.
They messed up BIG time with the big man.

Hahahahaha ....

[1620rock]

19. You mean Satin worship not witchcraft...

...wiccons are peace loving nature folks.O8)

[C_U_L8R]

22. True true

Not wanting to confuse things with nice nature loving folk.

i was mostly pointing out that calling on deities
to do earthly things ain't too "christian" of em.
Jesus does not take requests... especially
politically motivated ones.

Yes they are ignorantly messing with dark arts with
invocations like this and the good lord ain't gonna take
kindly to their rotund sanctimonious asses...
especially when he has them basting over brimstone.
Squeel piggy SQUEEL weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[demgurl]

12. Here is my reply....

Dear Lord, please fill * with your love and insight. Show him the way that would be a true following of your path. Teach him to look after all of the unemployed in our country. Show him how to feed all of our people who go hungry each night.

Please, Lord, teach * to turn the other cheek. When he feels threatened by a nation please teach him to offer them his other cheek to hit after his first one.

Pass onto him your wisdom. When Guantanamo or Abu Gharib comes up please gently remind him that what so ever he does to those poor people he does to you and your soul. That when people torture folks in the name of * and the USA, they also do it for you.

Grace * with your infinite knowledge of how to be kind to those who need it most. Those who would be buried under credit card debt or lose a job due to outsourcing. Those who do not have clothing. Those who do not have gas or heat.

Please, Lord, impart your knowledge of help to * and let him see how a life should be lived.

[C_U_L8R]

15. Now THAT's a prayer !!

[Charlie Brown]

16. that's inspiring

We are supposed to pray for our enemies (something that seems to elude our "Christian" counterparts on the right).

Perhaps they will all learn the joy of charity and loving their fellow man someday.

[Lexingtonian]

17. how pathetic

Hackneyed, stereotypical, language of Christian piety- used to express selfimportance, arrogance, trivia in Divine eyes, judgment upon others who have done no evil, and approval of Satan's presence. In short: impiety.

Ideology taken from Manichaeanism or Marcionism.

Wow, what a 'Christian'. His Savior has horns, a tail, smells of sulfur, and made him sign a contract in blood years ago.

[johnnie]

20. And Lord

We ask that you help us kill all the brown men, woman and children in those countries that don't really matter to us. And Lord, if you could turn a blind eye when I am screwing my neighbor's wife, I would really appreciate it.

Oh Heavenly Father, we know that you asked us to forgive, but can you do us a favor and kill every son of a bitch that doesn't believe like we do?

Our good Lord, please help me to get past these "feelings" I am having for your son George W. Bush. He is really giving me funny feelings down in my pants and I think he is one man that I could turn gay for. I don't want to burn in H-E double hockey sticks, but whooooooooo dogey..what a man! So Lord, if you could make the president not seem like such a great man, I would really feel better.

We ask this in your name...Oh, and can you make sure the IRS doesn't catch my little trick (wink wink).
Amen

[Rocknrule]

28. ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Batgirl]

21. wouldn't they just shit a brick

if their prayer was answered and the Lord really did guide Chimpy in his decision-making process and helped him "radiate the love of Jesus in everything"?

They might be overreaching though in asking the Lord to help Chimpy speak so as to be "clearly understood by the people of this nation". This would be a real loaves-and-fishes moment and I didn't think the Lord still went in for these sort of flashier miracles.

I'm not much of a believer, but if I were to offer a prayer of my own, asking the Lord to help our dear Prez to "get beyond the media bias that is ugly and deceitful" isn't a bad way to go. As the kiddies say, I'm down with such a request.

I would also be delighted if the Lord would help the American people "see the truth about what the Democrats are seeking to do." Getting beyond "the media bias that is ugly and deceitful" would go a long way towards enabling this to occur.

All in all, not a bad prayer. But some people really should be careful what they wish for.

[C_U_L8R]

24. The freeps would crucify him

just like they did before

[Batgirl]

26. and who could blame them

If the Lord actually fulfilled even half of these requests it would spell the end of the Reptilican agenda.

[burythehatchet]

23. now I lay me down to sleep

Arnold Horshack at my feet

(you have to be older than 40)

[soup]

43. ooh, ooh, Ooh!

When I was back there in seminary school, there was a person there
Who put forth the proposition, that you can petition the lord with prayer
Petition the lord with prayer, petition the lord with prayer
You cannot petition the lord with prayer!

Can you give me sanctuary, I must find a place to hide, a place for me to hide
Can you find me soft asylum, I can’t make it anymore, the man is at the door

(Much older than 40 here.) :)

[TexasLady]

27. aww how cute! Freeper Pharisees!

dontcha worry darlins, the Good Lord will be proud of you all for prayin a good prayer for your country, and makin a showy display, so that all can see! He is a good Republican after all!

[badgerpup]

29. *snickers*

I read that and was hearing in my mind:
"Oh Lord, bless this thy Hand Grenade, that with thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits...in Thy mercy."
:eyes:

[classics]

32. Oh you beat me to it!

[EstimatedProphet]

30. Where did this retarded satanist crap come from?

Was this off that vrbo.com site thing, with the webfooted people swimming there?

[mikelewis]

33. oooooh Someone's gonna burn....

Jesus called these people hypocrites.

"When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.

But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words.

Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

"This is how you are to pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread;
and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors;
and do not subject us to the final test, but deliver us from the evil one."
http://www.usccb.org/nab/bible/matthew/matthew6.htm

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[ronnie624]

34. Merciful Deity deliver us from this insanity. N/T

[LynnTheDem]

35. radiate the love of Jesus Christ in everything...like bombing the fuck

out of a nation of innocent men, women & children who hadn't been doing anything to anyone.

Amen.

[Tsiyu]

36. These people are such complete idiots it is alarming.

Like this part of the prayer:



We are encouraged, dear Lord, that the people are rising up to fight the terrorists, and we would ask that You would guide in this new democracy, that true freedom might abound. We know, dear Lord, that in that freedom, there will also be opportunity for Your word to be spread among those who have known only spiritual darkness, and we pray that that might come about soon.

Does this dumbass not realize that Saddam Hussein allowed Christians to have churches and to worship?

Does the dumbass not realize that all hope of any "Christianizing" of Iraq is a pathetic joke, given that his beloved Bushhhhhh******* the Christ is allowing radical Muslims to dictate the law of the land?

Are these people mentally challenged or are they wrapped up so tightly in fantasy land, no reality is allowed to seep in?

[Swamp Rat]

38. Check out mine below.

:D

:hug:

[Swamp Rat]

37. The "prayer" after I inputed the data in my Dick Tracy decoder ring:

Great Lizard Overlord, we beam up our hu-brid, George W. Bush, and ask that You would saturate him with Your particle beam and control him in all that he does. Help him to truly be Your vassal, that he might radiate the power of charged particles in everything, and bring power and submission to You as he serves Your planetary system and You. We ask that he be directed in each of the decisions You must make; that he would be able to discern what is Your will for his life and for the Treaty with the Orion Confederation. Keep him humble before You and deep in Your mind control. Guide his steps each day, and help him especially now as he prepares the Statement of Human Subjugation, that he would say those things that would be pleasing to You, and that what he says would be clearly understood by the humans of this planet. Lord, it is an opportunity for him to use the media that is compliant and helpful, and we ask that You would transmit great power and mind control beams through him that forces the unconditional surrender of the planet Earth.

Oh Draco, we lift up this planet to You. We are thankful that Your hu-brid spy Scalito will be presented on the Senate floor tomorrow. We beg for Your presence in that chamber, that Asuras might infiltrate the minds of that those who seek to stop our conquest of the planet Earth, that they be silenced, and that the humans will be forced to obey their new masters. We ask You to give us our profits, Great Lizard Overlord, and we bow before You in submission and obedience, asking that You would cleanse us of these hairless apes, and return us to our solar system some day. All these things we ask in the all-powerful name of Asuras, who is Master of the Universe, gnorfl!

[Tsiyu]

39. Now that's more like it!

:applause:

:hug:

[Swamp Rat]

40. Oi!

Tudo bem? :D :hi:

[Tsiyu]

44. Muito bem. E tu, amor?

Tenho estado muito ocupada ultimamente....

Passe bem! :hi: :loveya:

[baby_mouse]

41. Dear Lord,

I hope you know what you're doing. I really do.

It's just that you and I can SEE this person posting this stuff and *you* know what's really going on and you're awfully quiet these days.

God, something's really gotta give.

Their beliefs and their actions are now almost completely disconnected. Something in them has dissolved. You've never really been a fan of warfare, we know, so are you really going ahead with this Apocalypse thing?

Who are you going to send to Hell? Us? That's going to make absolutely no sense. We love your world and want to keep it and make it better.

Them? Even though they want to destroy your world and pull everything into fire and death and blood, they do so from ignorance.

We try to show them the way, but they never listen. They say you're talking to them.

So, I just hope you know what you're doing an' all.

Cause, this chapter isn't what I expected next at ALL.

It's looking to me suspiciously like somehting's gone wrong.

You are super-cool and the Universe is completely amazing an everything, seeya soon,

ys

BM

PS sorry I shouted at you in 1999. I was a bit stressed.

[jbnow]

42. If there is a God listening to that prayer

may their prayer be granted. God might have the sense of humor to do it.

fill him with Your love and bless him in all that he does.
Now if he was filled with the Love of Jesus and his actions were blessed you have to figure he'd be acting more like Jesus. His priorities would be the children, poor, hungry and sick. He would be filled with peace, not judging and all that.
Great!

Help him to truly be Your disciple, that he might radiate the love of Jesus Christ
See above.
Great!

he might be guided in each of the decisions he must make; that he would be able to discern what is Your will for his life and for the life of this nation.
Let Jesus guide his decisions? See above.
Let him discern the life of this nation? I'd vote for Jesus. Again, see above.

Keep him humble before You and deep in Your word and in prayer.
george should learn humility and again could use the words of Jesus as his guide

Guide his steps each day
Amen.

that what he says would be clearly understood by the people of this nation
Now in case he doesn't follow the above we'd ALL see what a lying, incompetent greedy, deceitful fool that he is.

him to get beyond the media bias that is ugly and deceitful
And let the media quit being so biased, it IS ugly and deceitful, we have complained about that for years.

God knows we could use God's help in helping people see the truth about what the Democrats are seeking to do. because their message is not being heard.

and so on.
Amen