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In response to commentary by esteemed internet journalist Matt Drudge, House Majority Leader John Boehner today announced the introduction of HR 4069, the “Protecting our Politicians from Pages Act of 2006.” The act was introduced in light of new revelations stemming from the resignation of Congressman Mark Foley (R. Fla.) in the aftermath of a sex scandal involving teenage congressional Pages.
Drudge, who used his nationally syndicated radio show this week to accuse the underage former pages of "egging the Congressman on" during their conversations, claimed that "these kids were playing Foley for everything he was worth." Drudge twice referred to the former pages as "beasts. "http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jane-hamsher/gop-hitman-matt-drudge-bl_b_30784.html
“After a through investigation by Republican leadership, and consultations with rightwing opinion makers like Matt Drudge, Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage, we in the GOP have decided to show our leadership by introducing legislation aimed at the real cause of the Foley scandal --Predator Pages,” Boehner announced.
House Speaker Dennis Hastert, in a prepared statement issued form the upstairs bathroom of his home in Wheatland, Illinois, weighed in with his support for the measure. “Predator Pages are a growing concern to all right-thinking Americans. With their constant prancing around the copy room in those oh-so-tight-fitting jeans and those sheer, starched white oxford shirts with that top button undone just so… It’s just not fair. We need to reign in these teenage tempters for the good of our country.”
The Act would change federal law to:
• Impose criminal penalties on Congressional Pages who respond to Members’ inquiries or emails with anything more than their name, rank and graduation class;
• Authorize the House Ethics Committee to investigate the leaking of information critical of members by Congressional Pages, and to use "updated" interrogation techniques, if necessary;
• Require male Congressional Pages to wear loose- fitting trousers at all times; and
• Fund additional law enforcement officers to protect Members from the leering advances of Pages and to insure that Members working after hours with their staffs are not disturbed under any circumstances.
The “Predator Page” legislation enjoys the support of 235 Republican Congressional co-sponsors, numerous religious leaders, President Bush, and our heroic troops serving in Iraq.
A cabal consisting of Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez, billionaire George Soros and Howard Dean has organized to oppose the legislation, according to the Drudge Report.
(OK...Its a joke...Or is it?)
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