BREAKING: In surprise move, White House expands reach of War on Terror

[LearnedHand]

In a hastily arranged press conference, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow today announced President *'s plans for expanding the War on Terror. "The president felt we weren't doing enough to secure our homes and our families and our religion," Snow said. "We are under constant attack from sources of terror and the president intends to go after each one until America is totally safe." Snow then handed out a list of new focus areas and left the room without taking more questions. Afterward, the blogosphere was humming with talk of this being yet another election-year Rovian trick.

{{ and a secret source deep inside the White House press corps leaked the list to me!!! Here's an excerpt... }}

STRATEGIC FOCUS:

• frightening or intense films


• teenagers telling "the claw" story while parking in deserted, rural areas


• delirious fevers produced by flu and other viruses


• co-workers who say "the boss wants to see you right now" without telling you anything else


• campfire ghost stories

POTENTIALLY DEVELOPING THREATS:

• parents who hide in closets and jump out at their kids


• Halloween houses of horror


• roller coasters over 20 feet tall

[DRoseDARs]

1. Jesus, I just dropped a load in my pants...

Save me, George. I scared... :scared:

[LearnedHand]

3. {{ evil grin }} sorry

Couldn't hep meself. Guess this IS a pretty scary time ...

[Erika]

2. I thought W might be instituting a draft by executive order

His base would have hung him.

[hsher]

4. Bwaaaaaaa

:rofl:
Dammit Jim! Don't do that to me! You and your pointy-eared friend had me going a minute there!