Bill Maher: The real menace to American kids

[El Fuego]

from Salon

By Bill Maher

Oct. 13, 2006 | If you think the worst thing Congress doesn't protect young people from is Mark Foley, wake up and smell the burning planet. The ice caps are cracking, the coral reefs are bleaching, and we're losing two species an hour. The birds have bird flu, the cows have mad cow, and our poisoned groundwater has turned spinach into a side dish of mass destruction. Our schools are shooting galleries, our beaches are cancer wards, and under George W. Bush -- for the first time in 45 years -- our country's infant mortality rate actually went up.

Read the labels on your food. It turns out the healthiest thing you can put in your body is Mark Foley's penis. He was probably the first fruit those pages ever came into contact with that wasn't drenched in pesticide.

But that's America for you -- a red herring culture, always scared of the wrong things. The fact is, there are a lot of creepy middle-aged men out there lusting for your kids. They work for MTV, the pharmaceutical industry, McDonald's, Marlboro and K Street. And recently, there's been a rash of strangers making their way onto school campuses and targeting our children for death. They're called military recruiters.

More young Americans were crippled in Iraq last month than in any month in the past three years. And the scandal is that Mark Foley wants to show them a good time before they go? When will our closeted gay congressmen learn? Our boys aren't for pleasure. They're for cannon fodder. They shouldn't be another notch on your bedpost. They should be a comma in Bush's war. If I hear a zipper, it had better be on a body bag.

(snip)

In conclusion, we can pretend that the biggest threat to "our children" is some creep on the Internet, or we can admit it's Mom and Dad. When your son can't find France on a map, or touch his toes with his hands, or understand that the ads on TV are lying -- including the one in which the Marine turns into Lancelot -- then the person fucking him is you.

More
http://salon.com/opinion/feature/2006/10/13/foley_kids/

[aquart]

1. Go, Bill!

That is one seriously impressive rant.

[acmavm]

2. Whereas everything he said about the busy** administration

bird flu, mad cow, the water supply, MTV, the pharmaceutical industry, etc. are all true the guys dismissal of what Mark Foley did just goes to show that Maher can be an arrogant dismissive ass.

[The Count]

20. He sees himself as a 16 years old, therefore can't see the problem

He has a hatred for children, people who grow up and get married...

[devilgrrl]

3. I hate Maher... blaa blaa blaa blaa blaa...

:sarcasm:

Just beating his detractors to the punch.

:freak:

[The Count]

27. Actually, you didn't (beat them to the punch)

Just because Maher can find le mot juste on many relevant topics doesn't excuse the fact that in this very piece he defends pederasty and its cover up (I'm not touching other questionable views on war, torture, stolen elections as they are not germaine to this particular speech).
He can indeed be most eloquent - but to uncritically worship someone just for that and preemptively scorn objectors, is...how shall I put it - freeperish?

[alarimer]

32. he's right though

the whole Foley thing is a tempest in a teapot. Now the cover-up is the worst part and shows Republicans at their worst. But why in the hell aren't people more angry about the shredding of the Constitution? Where is the outrage on that? When will the sheep realize that THEY can be hauled off to Gitmo with no legal recourse? When will they wake up?

We will have hearings on the Foley matter but NONE on the many, many crimes of the Bush Administration which are of far more importance. As far as I know, Foley never actually did anything to those pages but talk a little dirty to them. BUT OUR COUNTRY IS BEING DESTROYED WHILE WE ARE DISCUSSING IT!!!

[liberalmuse]

4. He's right, however...

The Foley thing is the only 'pub scandal in recent years where we've seen approval ratings fall drastically. It's the only 'pub scandal that's 'stuck'. We'll take what we can get.

[Sequoia]

5. Jiminey Christmas!

[yellerpup]

6. The rage is so real

K&R :kick: :kick: :kick:

[Marnieworld]

7. I don't always agree with Maher, but I always love him

"It turns out the healthiest thing you can put in your body is Mark Foley's penis."

Just genius and of course true. Funny Funny funny.

[Hamlette]

8. Every once in awhile, Bill hits one out of the park. k&r n/t

[jhain]

9. Good One!

Sent that link to dozens.
I don't see it as dismissing Foley; every mention is a twist of the Foley fillet knife, it is brilliant.
He managed to every sexual predator, every Republican and every lazy parent and every big corporation in a few short paragraphs.

[SeanQ]

10. Hot damn!

:kick:

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

11. My Mr. Maher is really on a tear, isn't he..

I loved this line though: "So many of our kids today are fat drug addicts, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had had puppies." LOL

We do have to admit there is some truth in that statement.

[Laurab]

12. I'm a fan of Bill Maher, but don't always agree with him

and I think some of the things he says in this essay are a little off the mark, others really well-stated, but my favorite line was:

"Yes, Mark Foley was wrong to ask teenagers how long their penises were -- but at least someone on Capitol Hill was asking questions."

[SlavesandBulldozers]

29. that is a good one.

mine is : "So many of our kids today are fat drug addicts, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had had puppies. "

[w4rma]

13. I believe the Foley issue is very very important. It gives us a window

into how these people have been acting since they came into power.

[ikojo]

14. Wow!!! Not a right wing talking point in that

rant...I wonder how he managed. I am impressed!!

[proud patriot]

15. Yowza !

:applause: :headbang:

[question everything]

16. Excellent! (nt)

[tblue]

17. Beyond brilliant!

[Mind_your_head]

18. Wow

Very harsh - but undeniably true.

Sometimes the 'harsh slap' is necessary to slap people back towards consciousness.

[RestoreGore]

19. And What Is Bill Maher Doing About It?

What is he doing himself to fight the climate crisis besides trash Al Gore and his ACTION on this every chance he gets? We all know what he said here is correct, but because he has "celebrity" status that makes it a great rant? Hell, I tell my son everyday to watch out for all of this, and just signed an opt out form to keep the military recruter vultures from talking to him. And I work everyday to promote An Inconvenient Truth (the venture he trashes because Al Gore did it) and talk to people about changing their lives. And yes, regarding Foley, I think he is a slease and should be punished according to the law if he broke any laws, but then why aren't parents teaching their kids to GET OFF THE COMPUTER when they are asked about the size of their penis instead of responding?! So yes, on much of what he said in this "rant" I can agree with, especially as a parent who DOES do the right thing by my child, but again, what is he physcically doing besides ranting to back up his outrage? At this point, talk is cheap.

[The Count]

28. Oh, yeah, it's the parents' fault that boss congresscritter abuses

authority with impunity as his political cronies will always get his...back. Yeah, that's the ticket! We've blamed the democrats, Soros, the pages themselves - it's time now for scolding the parents.
Ah, the good ol days when the criminals were responsible for comitting/covering crimes.

[RestoreGore]

30. That Was The Entire Context Of Bill Maher's Rant!

He claimed parents allow their kids to become cheetos eating, yoohoo spewing, overweight drug addicts... so perhaps you should aim your vitriol at him. And I didn't say it was ONLY the parent's fault or that that sleaze should escape responsibility for what he did, so perhaps you need to reread what I wrote... but I would say that minor children on computers SHOULD BE MONITORED by their parents. To say that parents bear NO responsibility for their minor children's actions on the Internet is just ignorant.

[The Count]

31. Maher (thinks)is a kid and hates his parents, all grown ups

I am sure he doesn't want to be limited as to the age of the groupies he wants to hang with either.

[Miss Chybil]

21. Damn! That hurts!

Like the truth usually does.

[donsu]

22. true

nt

[Stockholm]

23. Ouch!

K&R

[TheFarseer]

24. Awesome stuff

funny and with a point - The complete opposite of Dennis Miller.

[mirandapriestly]

25. the first fruit that wasn't drenched in pesticide, lol.eom

[malaise]

26. That was great

He read it on Real Time last night. A classic rant.