http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/10/13/182818/62A Very Special Episode In Washington
by Hunter
Fri Oct 13, 2006 at 03:28:18 PM PDT
<snip>I sat my son down on the bed, and sat next to him. "Well, Timmy, that's quite a question. But you're old enough now for a straight answer."
I paused, here. OK, I told myself in a mental voice so loud that I was half afraid it would set off car alarms on the street below -- here goes.
"Timmy, sometimes... when two people love each other very much..."
Aaaagh. Ten words in, and it already sounds like an afterschool special.
"...when two people love each other very much, they... do things. To each other. As an act of love, um, to show that they care about each other."
Timmy sat at attention, waiting for more.
"You see, sex is something that people do when they want to be close to each other. I don't need to tell you, Timmy, that it is a dark and scary world out there, full of evil people. Some of them want to tax you, Timmy, or tell you what you can and can't do with your money. There are brown people out there, Timmy, that don't even speak English, and they've been migrating up through South America, breeding with other people to make sortof hybrid brown people, and they've reached the U.S. now, in places like Texas and California--"
Timmy looked exasperated. "Dad, you're giving the brown people speech again. And besides, I think you're getting them confused with killer bees."
"Right -- um, sorry. OK, I was telling you about sex... you see, sex is an act of sharing."
"But what is it? How do you do it?"
"Yes. Um, OK... OK, let me start over. Let me give some examples. You see, Timmy, when two people care about each other very much, they will do things to each other, for pleasure, and that's what we call 'sex'".
Timmy was listening, now.
"For example, if you cared about someone very much, one thing you could do is take a chemical light, break it, and shove it up their ass."
There was a long, uncomfortable pause. Timmy was staring into space, a puzzled expression on his face.
"Or, say, a broomstick, or a billy club. It doesn't have to be a lightstick, it could be pretty much anything that would fit up the ass."
"Like... a loofa?" Timmy asked.
"Well, yes, though that's pretty pedestrian. I'm more talking about things that hurt. It's the hurting that says you care."
He absorbed this, and I continued.
"Or, for example, you could strip them naked, then set dogs on them. In some circles, that's called "doggie style". The goal is to get the dogs to bite your partner repeatedly, enough to cause a lot of blood loss, but not enough to actually kill them. Here, I have a picture."
<much, much more at link: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/10/13/182818/62 >