Create a Republican Concession Speech

[ck4829]

"I'd love to stay and concede the race, but I have to make a break for the border. :yoiks:"

[Oceansaway]

1. LoL...n/t

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. "My fellow inmates..."

I don't know where it goes, but that's where it should start.

[Ian David]

3. "I'm really an alien lifeform from Antares VIII. I blame the alcohol." n/t

[RobertSeattle]

10. The people who voted against me hate democracy

[Mend]

4. the border of Thailand....they are a lot easier on pedophiles there.

[LiberalEsto]

5. Point # 1 - It's Clinton's fault

and it's always been Clinton's fault.

[KittyWampus]

6. Let's see... how about a good SCREAM

then the mediawhores can play it back ad naseum

[KingFlorez]

7. "Bill and Hillary and Nancy Pelosi set me up"

"The liberals ruined my chances for reelection and now the Democrat Party is in control. It's all the liberals fault!"

[RobertSeattle]

8. "I'm going to spend more time with my children"

No really - these really are my childen. And this is my real wife - really. We have sex - just not together. I'm not gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I just room with those guys in DC to save money.

[AlCzervik]

9. "And tomorrow morning i will turn myself in to federal authorities"

[datadiva]

11. It's all Clinton's fault! n/t

[Richard Steele]

12. "You bastards are gonna pay for this! Who do you think you are?"

AKA the "Lieberman Concession Formula"

[Double T]

13. " I can't believe I lost, this can't be happening to ME!!!!!

We rigged the election so I could not lose, yet I still lost. I want to throw myself on the ground and have a GIANT temper tantrum. You'll all get yours in the end when the terrorists attack you, THEN you will see the BIG mistake you made in NOT voting for me. My opponent is a loser like the rest of you that didn't vote for me. Good riddance to you ALL!!"

[mwooldri]

14. "Under Section XXX of the Miltary Commissions Act, ..."

... it has been ruled that the Democratic Party of America is a terrorist organization and that anyone registered with them are enemy combatants."

Republican concession speech? Ha!

We'll see what happens election day. REally I hope there are the usual concession speeches that go "we fought a good campaign, we still believe that XYZ is still good for the country and that the opponent that we were beaten by is bad for the country and well done team". Let's hope they're like that.

Mark.

[KansDem]

15. "F**K YOU! I got mine. Now it's off to Paraguay!" (eom)

[Rocknrule]

16. "My fellow Americans...

...even though the will of the insignificant focus groups in this country have overriden our rigged voting machines, I have recieved a message from God that the GOP is to be in power for eternity. We will not leave Congress, because if we do, interracial gay couples from Iraq and France will come over here, get married, perform abortions on our daughters, and fly more planes into buildings with help from Bill Clinton's penis."

[warrens]

17. You fuckers cheated

You must have. We had the machines rigged, had suppressed the black vote, made sure not enough machines were delivered to the Dem precincts and you fucking cheaters still won. FUCK YOU. When we steal the next one, we're going to outlaw the Democratic Party. And you fuckers will be rotting in jail, you fucking communists.

[YDogg]

18. "We sucked. See ya!"

[LeftishBrit]

19. Depends on the Republican:

Moderate Republican: I shall call my lawyer and sue the voters for unfair dismissal.

Right-wing Republican: I shall have all the voters rounded up and sent to Guantanamo Bay for their treason in voting against me and commiting the cardinal sin of giving Our Great President an OPPOSITION!!!!

[Justice Is Comin]

20. I apologize that I have brought shame to my family

I only hope that I can make amends....oh wait--that's the being led away in handcuffs speech.

Well, I'll stick with that one.

[conscious evolution]

21. "Your Honor

Please have mercy on me."

[Crunchy Frog]

22. "I have a drinking problem, and will be entering rehab."

"And Teddy Keneddy, Chapaquiddick, and Clinton's penis."

[mikeiddy]

23. If it doesn't end with hara kiri, I don't want to see it. . .

Edited to add this link

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2426366

McCain threatens suicide if Democrats win