How Many of Us Were Molested as Children or Teens? And did it

[leftyladyfrommo]

cause you to become a pedophile?

Because I sure had things happen to me (not horrible stuff like has happened to some people) but stuff. Not from relatives but sure from strangers - very inappropriate stuff. And I knew it was inappropiate and I just got out of there as fast I could.

And I'm here to say that I did not become a pedophile.

[Bitwit1234]

1. Typical Republican

This is just another case of a republican not taking responsible for his/her actions. You notice that no matter what they do, it is always someone else's fault.

Is that why they take the lobbyist and bribers money to vote. Because they don't have the intelligence to know what to vote for themselves.

[beyurslf]

2. You know, I am not sure what I want to say here. I am foster parent. I

several friends who are foster parents. We have kids live in our homes who have been through some unimaginably terrible things in their lives. Some have been sexually or physically abused. Some have sexually or physically abused others. Some have seen drugs and sex and crime that I haven't even witnessed.
One discussion that comes up over and over again with my friends is that they can never imagine acting the way some of our kids do. They can't imagine ever talking to an adult the way they do. They would never have dreamed of being so rude or un-thankful for something. I remind them all the time that we were not raised how they were raised. They may be in a good place now in our homes, but they came from terrible places. It isn't a fair comparison to say how I would have reacted to any given situation. I was taught to say "please" and "thank you" and to respect adults. I was taught to clean my room and eat what food was made.
Some of the kids in my home came form places where adults were seldom around and when they were, they gave only bad examples. How can I compare my reaction to something based on what I was taught to their reactions based on what they were taught.
This does not mean I in any way condone pedophilia; however, past experiences can influence future reactions. It can help explain what drives a person to this. And saying that something happened to you and you didn't become a pedophile is not an equal comparison. We are all different. We all have different lives and backgrounds and coping mechanisms. Some are taught. Some are built in.
I have seen many posts on here condemning Foley for saying he was abused too. It is a natural reaction to make an excuse--but that is also a first step in changing. BY recognizing and admitting his past abuse, he can start to look at reasons that he abused others.
Ok, my rant is over now.

[seabeyond]

5. thank you. my 8 yr old and i discussed this exact thing the other

night. he gets it. not hard. a reality. i agree with you and so much more

we were talking more the pull yourself up by your bootstrap. well with how son is raised it could be said. other kids though... and went into what you said.

[Gabi Hayes]

3. bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

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[seabeyond]

4. the reality is, and lets not lose sight of it..... an abuser was

generally abused. a pedophile generally was being played around with in youth.

it does not excuse the behavior. it does have profound effect on children. it does not mean all abused will abuse. but it is a reality

foley needs to be punished. just as the mother that kicks the shit out of kid, who had her father kick the shit out of her.

a reality. as is the punishment and wrong of it. we most all know this on the board. to pretend it isnt true is our own hypocrisy

[DaveJ]

6. It's totally irrelevant

It's like the perpetrator of a gun crime blaming it on the person who sold him the gun. People who are abused are sort of taught to do it but the vast majority do not. Foley is one of those rare scumbags who did.

[madmusic]

7. Simpleminded

Your conclusion may or may not be valid, but the premise is total bullshit.

1. So someone who sells a gun to a 3-year-old would not be responsible at all?

2. How traumatic is buying a gun?

3. Aren't most gun buyers adults?

4. Most soldiers who come back from Iraq do not have PTSD, so under your theory no one does unless they have character flaws. We may be able to control emotional reactions to war and when we are good enough at genetic engineering we will know if that is a good thing or not. For every such gain, there may be a dehumanizing loss.

[AngryAmish]

8. I was an alterboy

Wadda ya say?

Anyway I have no desire to pursue young men.

[radwriter0555]

9. Actually.. one common denominator that all child molestors have is that

they've been molested. Less than 1% of molestors were not, such a small fraction as to literally be moot.

Factoid I picked up from Ann Jones...

[neebob]

10. It's more useful here, I think, to just look at Mark Foley

He got caught, said he's an alcoholic and was molested by a priest (the implication being that that made him gay, and all good wingnuts know that being gay means you also molest children), went to rehab. Then, while he's hiding out in rehab, some old priest living on an island somewhere makes this unprecedented admission that he may have molested Foley, but he can't be sure because he was ill and on medication.

It's all so much cowardly, contrived bullshit designed to shift attention back to the Catholic church and away from Mark Foley, the U.S. Congressman who either couldn't stop himself or just thought he could get away with bothering 16-year-old boys. Are we going to fall for it and let Mark Foley come back another victim of the big bad Catholic church after however long he spends in rehab, or are we going to force him to take some of the personal responsibility that he and his party are always preaching?

[Nikia]

11. Was molested, not pedophile. However

I think women. like me, are more likely to take their pain out on themselves. I don't know what the statistics are on abused men who end up as pedophiles, but it is not an uncommon reaction for men.

[leftyladyfrommo]

12. Too true. I can't say that I understand male sexuality very well.

It is so different than my own. I find some of the stuff that is going on these days really baffling. Like the numbers of men that are into on line porno and child pornography. The numbers seem to be staggering.

Yet the men I know aren't like that. They are really nice guys - and would kill someone trying to hurt a child. I think they are way more sensitive to that sort of thing than I am.