DEM Yards Signs Raptured !1!!1!! Sign of the Apocalypse ??//??/?

[elehhhhna]

I think the missing Dem yard signs are being Raptured! I seriously do! Jesus surely don’t want no Republican political signs in Heaven, now does he?

No, Ma’am!

P.S. My “cousin” from Chicago says that a little touch of poison ivy or some WD-40 on a yard sign somehow keeps it in place better. Not sure why. The first sign may be Raptured but ain’t nobody touching its replacement.

[byronius]

1. Jesus hisself come down an took 'em.

'Dirty, dirty, dems,' he sneered. 'Gittin' all throwed up o'er a lil child sodomy and torcher. Wimps.' And then Jesus went down to the Red Raven, thas a famous bar where they kilt some laber peeple, and he had hisself a Lone Star longneck, and threw some darts.

Git thee to a church, dirty dem. God's against ye. And yer stoopid lawn signs, and yer truth, and yer libaries. God ain't in boooks. God's in mah gut. That's why ah took yer lawn sign, I mean, Jesus came and took yer lawn sign.

[elehhhhna]

2. yor thinkin is more backwards than George Bush on a Tilt-a-Whirl

Jesus took them signs because he LIKES them.

[byronius]

3. elehhhhna, that means you 'n me is next.

See ya in the spinning tornado-like Rapture Funnel. Wave at me. I'll be the guy holding the lawn sign.

[elehhhhna]

11. "Please, Jesus..."

[Demoiselle]

4. My surefire don't touch my sign remedy:

The two-sided sign fits over the upside down u shaped metal frame, right? If you have a dog, (or can borrow one) put on plastic gloves and apply just enough dog poo at the edge of the sign on each upright, underneath the sign. This is the place where "rapturers" will grasp the sign to pull it out of the ground. And as they do so, a bit of poo will ooze onto their little hands. I know this works, because I found one of my "treated" signs pulled half way out of the ground and then abandoned. I only wish I could have heard the disgusted shriek when the perp discovered what he'd squeezed into his hands.
Just a suggestion.

[elehhhhna]

5. dog poop? Yo'r DARKSIDED!

I mean that in a good way.

[byronius]

6. Well, done, well done. But disgust is less effective than pain --

-- or perhaps, just a poop-bomb that EXPLODES UPWARD, filling the offender's nostrils with the rich odor of former dog-food.

[elehhhhna]

9. one could probably just rub canned catfood on there...

that's pretty nasty BEFORE it's eaten

[tandot]

7. Habanero Pepper juice - rub it all over the sign

He'll burn the sh*t out of his d*ck the next time he pees and doesn't wash his hands

[DoYouEverWonder]

8. Oh that's a good one

Ow!

[elehhhhna]

12. added bonus: who washes their hands BEFORE they pee...?

let alone afterwards.

[smomfr]

26. Your assuming he can find his dick.

[Habibi]

27. Not only that

but he'll make his sexual partner howl, and not in a good way. (That is, of course, if he does good foreplay, not always a given with freeptards.)

I predict some serious lawsuits in freeperland! :D

[elehhhhna]

10. vote it up iffin ya want the freepers to see it.

they LOVE the Greatest page.

[porphyrian]

13. Wait, why WD-40?

It isn't an irritant to just touch. Does it make the sign slippery or something? I don't get it.

[elehhhhna]

18. it's greasy & messy &

who knows WHAT they're touching in the dark.

FYI our buddhist neighbor decided to just run some fishline from her sign to her house, with bells on it.

[Binka]

23. Yer Fucking Killing Me Here!

What the fuck your drunken neighbors must be thinking? The pee pants ones? LOL>

[elehhhhna]

24. Glad you asked! One's voting Dem for the first time in his life,

one's probably just NOT GOING to vote at all, one's decided he's a Democrat allofasudden, and another, Goofy Mc Crazytown, is probably going to write-in Tom Delay...since her house faces mine & she sees THIS every single morning:

[Rosemary2205]

14. Recommended.

So everyone can enjoy the comedy.........

[Ian David]

15. Before booby-trapping (poopy-trapping?) your yard signs...

Keep in mind that sometimes, volunteers from a candidate's campaign will collect and re-locate their own signs to positions they think are more strategic.

I've had my signs "stolen" by the candidate, and gotten a phone-call saying, "Hey, don't worry. We needed to borrow your sign."

Imagine the headline, "Anti-war Lesbian Democrat wins race, but dies of Trichinosis."
http://www.cdc.gov/node.do/id/0900f3ec8000763d

With that said, I'd stay away from poop.

Although cooking oil or white lithium grease is a good theft-deterrent.

[earth mom]

16. This thread is a riot! Thanks for the laugh! Recommended!

:rofl:

[DeepModem Mom]

17. K&R

[KurtNYC]

19. A freeper was walking down Broadway here last night tearing down

Spitzer/Paterson signs. He was a nebbish little freeper dude. I walked up to him and said:

"Tear down all the signs you want, you're still going to lose."

He looked at me nervously and said nothing even though I was not really in any threatening posture. Then I offered some backhanded "advice" (because once my mouth starts it is hard to stop):

"... maybe if you guys ran something other than a collection of pedophiles (Foley/hastert/etc) and criminals (Pirro) you would have a shot."

Before I spotted the guy, I thought it wass a waste to put up Spitzer signs on the 105% liberal Upper West Side (and there were lots of them).

[InsultComicDog]

20. lol

I had a yard sign show up at my house today... unexpected.

The campaign volunteer left me a note, saying she put up a sign on my lawn and hoped I didn't mind since she knew that I supported this candidate...

[elehhhhna]

25. Jesus? Izzat you?

[The Backlash Cometh]

21. It's time to post the instructions to the motion detector water sprinklers!

I wish someone on DU would rig one of those things so that we can get video of a freeper being showered and put it on youtube.

[ElboRuum]

22. Seems to be an ongoing process, eh?

Freepers up to their old shenanigans again...

You know, I don't think these bums will ever stop unless one of them gets prosecuted for trespassing or vandalism.

I really wonder what bothers them about a country in which opinions are shared freely and people who disagree with them are free to do so?