Everyone say hi to the secret service agent here

[boolean]

Hi secret service guy/girl! How are you?
:hi:

I want you to know, Secret Service Agent, that we here at DU hold nothing against you doing your job. In fact, I feel for you. It must really suck to have to protect a criminal and murderer. But since you're here, and since you have access to Der Fuhrer himself, (is that OK? Can I call him that? You won't be demanding my IP address, will you?), can you kindly convey a few things to him for us? I'll really appreciate it.

1) Can you tell him to stop killing innocent Iraqi civilians and lying about why?

2) How about letting him know that it's pronounced NU-CLEAR?

3) When the next hurricane/earthquake/asteroid hits, do us all a favor and give him a call. Tell him to get up off his ass or stop eating whatever it is he is eating (or singing, or reading) and actually do something to help.

4) Can you let him know that he is the president, not the emperor? If possible, maybe you could give him a textbook on how it's supposed to work.

5) Next time he is giving a speech, pull him aside for a second beforehand and tell him not to smirk when talking about death and destruction inflicted by his own hand.

Finally, do us a favor and head on over to http://www.freerepublic.com and check out any threads on abortion, contraception, stem cell research, homosexuals, African Americans, and immigration. Also be sure to check threads on Hillary Clinton or Howard Dean. I'm sure they can keep you real busy over there. In fact, you might want to file in some overtime.

All the death threats over there would be much more credible than any you'd find here. See, we're a bunch of liberals for the most part. We don't believe that killing is the answer. We respect life. We are tolerant of other people's sexual orientation, race, religion, and way of life. We don't bomb clinics or shoot people from rooftops. We believe in compassion for our fellow human beings. We want poor people to have a fighting chance. We want war only when it is absolutely necessary and a last resort. We believe in human rights and are against torture. We want our children to grow up in a clean world with a bright future. We believe everyone deserves access to free, universal health care.

Know that no matter how loathsome your boss is to us, we would never think of harming him in any way, as that would be against our core moral values.

Thank you for your time.

[radfringe]

1. also please tell him

- gas is going up
- the economy sucks and we are still waiting for a trickle DOWN as we are tired of being trickled ON
- changing the 'slogan' doesn't mean he really does have a plan

[xultar]

2. Can you ask Bush why he lied and sent our troops to their deaths for nothing?

[Gormy Cuss]

3. His name is Agent Mike. n/t

[medeak]

42. how do you know it's real?

I know a fellow who sits in the park on laptop telling everyone he is spying for govt... a real nutcase

[Gormy Cuss]

56. My name is Agent Gormy.

I'm in deep cover at DU.
:silly:

[Hugin]

64. Shhhhhh... Keep the Plaid Rosebud under wraps!

Counter sign: The Sky *IS* falling.

[Gormy Cuss]

66. Roger that.

Nothing but blue skies do I see.

[riderinthestorm]

68. I'm worried about our plan to ban Christmas.

Do you think they've discovered it yet?

:hide:

[Gormy Cuss]

72. Ixnay on Odecay Antasay Rojectpay.

Ban Halloween!

[orleans]

135. you're not that deep. i just looked at your profile! n/t

[Gormy Cuss]

154. Ha! Fooled ya. That identity was supplied by the Home Office. n/t

[Seabiscuit]

153. My name is Agent Agent Agent Agent

I'm in deep DU-DU up to my neck here.

[BR_Parkway]

140. If every DU'er sat outside a local Repug HQ with a laptop and

headphones on - wonder how long it would take before they freaked out. "Wiretapping? No we're the party that doesn't believe in that Officer, I'm just chillin with my iTunes"

[grizmaster]

148. awesome idea for a little Halloween prank

especially if it involved a bunch of different locations

[chefgirl]

4. Well said

Besides... wasn't me. :7

-chef-

Oops, I forgot. Hi Agent Mike. :hi:

[rug]

5. Is it a federal crime to threaten to kill thousands of civilians

and then do it?

[warrens]

6. Say Hi to the trolls who made the threats, then called the SS

And send the scumbags back to wallow in the Patriot Potty that is FRetard City.

[Tinksrival]

7. I agree

I'm a lover not a hater....unlike some people, * cough-cough. :hide:

[Tinksrival]

96. P.S. one little question.......

Does Gannon do costume changes? Is it extra?
Just wondering :shrug:

[razors edge]

8. Hey Mike!

Hows that Government supplied insurance treating ya?

You might let the boss know there are a lot of folks without any at all. I'm sure it will motivate him to do something about it, aren't you?

[The Backlash Cometh]

9. Dear, Secret Service people,

You look really cool behind those opaque black sunglasses. Really, I mean it. Really kewl.

[gilpo]

10. Hi agent Mike!

[catmandu57]

11. Aw hell, hi Mike

You can find everything you need in my profile, I've got nothing to hide. p.s. you're boss is fucking nutz.

[originalpckelly]

55. Who is this agent mike?

What is an agent mike?

[catmandu57]

58. He or she is the agent assigned to DU

Nobody knows the gender or identity so we adopted the agent mike personna long ago. It used to be pat, I'm not sure why we changed to mike.

[eppur_se_muova]

163. Well, Pat was gender-neutral, which has something to recommend it.

A lot of people say, "What's that?" It's Pat!
A lot of people ask, "Who's he? Or she?"
A ma'am or a sir, accept him or her
or whatever it might be.
It's time for androgyny.
Here comes Pat!

[troubleinwinter]

71. The ORIGIN OF AGENT MIKE

He began as a figment of Bev Harris's paranoid imagination / drama ploy /imaginary playmate, April 29, 2004.

'He' was eventually affectionately adopted by DU as a sort of agent symbol/mascot.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=1493426&mesg_id=1493426

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

94. While I'd prefer if we called the SS agent who is reading this board differently...

(mainly because of the association to Bev "Queen of the Grifters" Harris)

I must admit the persona of "Agent Mike" has seemingly taken on a life of its own.

Thanks for posting this link.

:hi:

[Sequoia]

12. ...Secret A-a-gent man, giving you a number and taking 'way your name.

[bdamomma]

113. How about Agent 99??? remember Get Smart!!

[Generic Other]

145. Does Agent Mike work for CHAOS or CONTROL?

[mcg]

129. You are Number 6.

Number 6: Where am I?
Number 2: In the Village.
Number 6: What do you want?
Number 2: We want information.
Number 6: Whose side are you on?
Number 2: That would be telling. We want information... information... information.
Number 6: You won't get it.
Number 2: By hook or by crook, we will.
Number 6: Who are you?
Number 2: The new Number 2.
Number 6: Who is Number 1?
Number 2: You are Number 6.
Number 6: I am not a number, I am a free man.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061287/quotes

[Spiffarino]

133. Wait a minute!! Are you GLEN...

or GLENDA???

[mcg]

142. I don't know, my birth certificate is torn off right after GLEN...

and now my parents don't remember. They said they named me after the greatest movie of all time, that's how much they liked it.

[undeterred]

13. What kind of bath toys do you use, Agent Mike?

[Coexist]

14. Hi! I loved you guys in The Sentinel

y'all have cool stuff.

[Fly by night]

15. If your time in the Secret Service predates the Chimpenator, stay ...

... where you are. We need people who are real public servants to hold on to whatever position they inhabit within our government until we can get back to the real world of democracy. You remember what that is, right? Having elections to ascertain the will of the people so that our leaders can derive legitimate power through the consent of the governed. Sounds so 90s these days, doesn't it?

But if you're another of the multiplying Rethugligan spawn that Bushitler is infecting all our federal agencies with, well then, "You're doing a heck of a job, Brownie".

[philly_bob]

24. Yes, pre-Bush civil servants, stick around, we need you! /nt

[rzemanfl]

16. When you are walking around guarding that asshole, does a

little voice in your head ever say...........................?

[Bruichladdich]

161. I would like to know that too n/t

[Jed Dilligan]

17. I disagree--I do have something against you, Agent Mike.

You should have resigned on 12/12/00.

[Philosoraptor]

18. hi mikey!!!111!!

[Nolo_Contendre]

23. Child porn is as bad as terrorism, they say

Luckily that's not under SS jurisdiction.

Hi Agent Mike! Can I have one of your business cards?

[Nordmadr]

157. Oh no, rubber ducky porn.

Just kidding. That doesn't count right? Anyone? I'm not going to go to jail for having seen that pic am I?

Olafr

[sarge43]

19. Just for the record

:hi: Agent Mike

I don't wish death to anyone. Death comes for us all, so why waste a wish. I do wish George W. Bush lives a long life and at some point during that life he recoils in horror at what he has done. I doubt that will happen, but I remain hopeful.

Have a nice day sweetie.

[uppityperson]

146. Hi Agent Mike, and I hope Mr.bush gets to have a long life...

I bet he'd really like postcards from places around the world to look at during his time in the Hague. Please post the address here when you get it.

[conscious evolution]

20. One more thing

Please,please,PLEASE keep the 'football' away from hom.
Really.
The entire planet depends on it.
Plus,by doing so you would be protecting the lives of the rightfully elected presidents of these United States.
President Al Gore and President John Kerry.

[Celebration]

21. Secret Service Investigate THIS

http://www.fugly.com/videos/5835/jfk-secret-service.html

What's the deal here?

[puffthemagicdragon]

162. If you were at the Bill Clinton book signing...

I tried to get in your pat down/frisk line on purpose because you were super hot! seriously

[Hugin]

22. Hey... When are Hannity and Pat Robertson getting the frog march?

They've both encouraged violence against Americans under SS protection.

What about it Agent Mike?

Time's a wasting.

[DeSwiss]

34. Don't forget Annie.....

....she likes to poison people that wear black robes....

http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/viewArticle.asp?articleID=5219">Ann Coulter says someone needs to poison Justice Stevens

Don't Supreme Court Justice's count Mikey??? :shrug:

[devilgrrl]

25. Hi Secret Service, so glad to see my tax $$$'s being put to good use!!!!!

:sarcasm:

[morgan2]

26. the real question

did they really threaten the president if he was never elected?

[emdee]

27. Ann Coulter issues regular death threats.

As do most of the other loud-mouth right-wing talking heads - these can be found both in print and on tape. I think all death threats should be taken seriously and hope that these big-mouths will be paid a visit.

It will be very ironic if the two posters in question are really Bush-supporters who were trolling here and get a visit from the SS! LOL I guess we'll never know --- would the freedom-of-information act apply?

But, since we're leaving messages for Bush, I'd like to add that with every dime of our debt that we allow China to hold, we are financing forced abortions.

:hi: Hello, Mr. Agent!!

emdee

[SPKrazy]

101. Yeah, But Ann Is A Rat Wanger

and they get free reign to threaten liberals at will

[emdee]

150. Evidently!! nt

nt

[BrotherBuzz]

28. I was out drinking with Agent Mike when he told me Bush used to pronounce...

nuclear nu-CLEE-ar back in 2000. I thought Mickey was just drunk and bull shitting me until he steered me to this youtube link that proved it. Look around 5:02 in the video where Georgie says it twice, just like a fine Connecticut preppie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Slmr024JYaA

[rhiannon55]

39. OMG! He said nu-CLEAR!

what a lying, posturing POS...

Umm--Hi Agent Mike! :hi: How ya doin'?

[BrotherBuzz]

44. Agent Mike is a little hung over today...

but a little hair of the dog will put him right. He's actually a decent enough person and has opened up a lot in recent months; he's starting to connect the dots and see the light.

[troubleinwinter]

73. WOW. I had not seen that video before. WATCH!

[proud2BlibKansan]

80. Can't watch the puke fest that comes before he says it

I'll take your word for it.

[sakabatou]

83. Dick looks like he's plotting something...

[ellenfl]

85. i noticed it too (pretty hard to miss)

i think he made a concerted effort to say it right and then got lazy later.

ellen fl

[BrotherBuzz]

88. Or later, Mr. "All hat and no cattle" made a concerted effort to appear more Texan.

:shrug:

[eppur_se_muova]

164. Yes, but how many neurons has he destroyed since then ?

His own, I mean. Not that he started with a full consignment.

[valerief]

29. Hi, Agent Mike. We know you hate your boss, too! Don't forget

to vote Democratic!

[CabalPowered]

30. I think we should send them roses

At least we have an agency that still works! They're doing their job and Skinner is doing his. He should get roses too.

[Moloch]

31. Kicked & Recommended!

nt

[sinkingfeeling]

32. Hi there, Secret Service person! Can you tell me if the really handsome

tall guy that was always with President Clinton in Arkansas is still around? Can you find out if he's married?

[xultar]

33. DAYUM...took the words right out of my mouth. Does he have brother?

[roamer65]

109. ...are they gay?

I hope so. Secret agent man...Secret agent man... :bounce:

[City Lights]

35. Hey there Secret Service Dude or Dudess!

:hi:

How's life treatin' ya these days?

edited for typo

[Lars39]

36. I love this rant:

This is by http://pacifistpatriot.blogspot.com/

Dear Federal Agent:

I do not know if you are here because I have checked out subversive material from the library (books by M. Moore, J. Carter, B. Clinton, K. Vonnegut, etc.) or because I participated in the peace rally on March 18. Or it could be because I’ve sent letters to Washington letting my representatives (and the pretender on the throne) know how much I disapprove of their actions.

Or maybe it’s the letters to the editor in which I railed against Republican incompetence and criminality. I am a vegetarian and I do donate money to liberal causes that promote peace, human rights and nuclear non-proliferation, so perhaps that's why.

But it really doesn't matter since all of those actions are still perfectly legal. Whatever the reason, you’ve agreed to violate my rights as outlined in the U.S. Constitution so you might as well put yourself to good use while you’re trampling on American liberty.

Be sure to check the washing machine. That is where I hide my protest t-shirts. If the stuff in there is wet I encourage you to move it to the dryer and dry it. The words "No Blood for Oil" are clearer when clean and dry. Make sure you move all of it. You don't want to miss anything.

The boys' rooms are such a total mess you're going to have to wade pretty deep to find my old copies of Mother Jones and The Vegetarian Times. The legos go in the small green bins and the blocks go in the big red ones. Do what you can with the action figures, just be careful not to break any when you invariably step on one.

I'm so embarrassed about the state of my bedroom but we could only redecorate one part of the house a year. It's our last project. Look at the paint chips on the wall and let me know which shade you prefer. I'm looking for opinions at all times of the day because, you know, light changes in a room throughout the day.

By now the laundry in the dryer should be done. When you sort through it, just toss it on my bed. Be sure to make the bed so there will be plenty of room to spread the laundry while you fold it. Oh, and roll the socks, don't tie them.

There is a special treat for federal agents who search bathrooms. Hint: I keep a notebook by the scrub brush in case I have any inspiration for an editorial while I'm, well, you know. Since you're in there, the Windex for the mirrors is in the cabinet over the dryer. The one you just emptied. I write secret messages to other dangerous liberals that can only be read when the mirrors are freshly cleaned.

No point in rifling through the DVDs and CDs in the drawers under the futon sofa. It's all kid stuff. The really subversive ones are on the plant ledges in the family room. You'll need a ladder and a feather duster. Can you get the ceiling fans while you're up there?

It's a crapshoot whether my kitchen will be amenable to an unwarranted search or not. Usually I try to keep up with the dishes before leaving the house but it's possible there could be a stray one on the counter or in the sink. You'll want to scrub anything you find really well to make sure there are no biological toxins. Oh, that stuff in the crockpot is not explosive material, it's just chili. It doesn't become explosive until ingested. Help yourself just don't call me when your spouse kicks you out of bed tonight.

Now get the fuck out of my house.
http://pacifistpatriot.blogspot.com/

[porphyrian]

37. Ha ha! You have to protect a lying piece of shit!

Keep up the good work.

[bdamomma]

116. yes, that must be hard work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sarge43]

38. By the way, Agent Mike

Did any of you boys and girls ever get in Ann Coulter's face about wishing death to a Supreme Court Judge?

[JuniperLea]

40. Welcome to DU, Agent Mike!

I appreciate your trying to keep America safe and all, but here's a big hint... he biggest terrorist currently living on planet Earth, the most dangerous and deadly of us all, lives in a great, big white house on Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington DC. Seriously. Someone should put a stop to his torturing and murdering.

















I'm just saying...

[medeak]

41. met agent covering Cheney...

said he was so happy to be going on vacation the next day...

don't judge these folk.. they have a terrible yet heroic job.

[OzarkDem]

43. They do have a hard job

and they're usually apolitical.

[Lefty48197]

82. They're actually pretty cool people

SOME of them anyways...

[Name removed]

45. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[malaise]

46. Hilarious thread

:rofl: :rofl:

[kurth]

47. Please keep Dear Leader safe. Them pretzels can be dangerous.

P.S.: Is it true that the president is groomed by a vet?

[bdamomma]

117. Agent Mike or whoever do you have to test his food first are you getting tired of eating

white bread and kraft cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[niyad]

48. HI agent mikey! what HE said, except that I would add--while we

wish your boss no harm, we DO wish that whole stinking cabal the rest of their lives in an ICC prison for war crimes.

[BlueJac]

49. Hi agent Mike

:hi:

[lpbk2713]

50. Wazzzaaa!!!

[BuyingThyme]

51. Well said, boo.

[treestar]

52. Could you ask the Prez why he hates the Constitution?

Could you tell him we elected him to uphold it, not to "protect us?"

:hi:

[Hubert Flottz]

53. Mike

Hunt is watching YOU!

[Annces]

54. Have a coffee and donut on us

Do you have a conscience?

[riderinthestorm]

59. I've got beer and nachos over here, Agent Mike!

Come on by you poor thing. I'm sure you all aren't having a great time these days, what with the chimperer-in-chief in constant peril from the near universal global hatred he has engendered. Can't be easy for you. Everywhere you go, everyone hatin' your guy....

Come on over - maybe you'd like a nice glass of merlot instead?

[Annces]

61. funny

Merlot for the rattled nerves.

[riderinthestorm]

65. Honestly though, it just can't be a good time for them. Everyone DOES hate

their guy. They just gotta go around all day long thinking everyone wants to kill him? WTF?

It's got to be stressful as hell. I'm sure more than a few resent the position he's put them in. I would.

So I offer my house as a chimperer-free zone. Snacks and drinks included. I can promise you all that nobody here wants him dead - we want him and the rest of his criminal cronies in the Hague.

[lpbk2713]

67. They have my respect

Just consider .....


It's their job to stand in front of a bullet meant for that %$#*&@!


I would want my life to have served a better purpose frankly.

[riderinthestorm]

69. Yup, it's got to be infuriating for more than a few by now

I actually do feel for them at this point.

[bdamomma]

118. oh, we want him and his companions to rest comfortably in the

Hague.

[NJCher]

138. hahah

I was just talking to a neighbor who works for a crappy employer. He came home from a trade show, looking beat. I asked him why he looked so worn out and he said, "Have you ever stood at a trade show for two days and had everyone walking by come over and say 'Your company sucks!?'"

Bet that's what it's like for Agent Mike.

[EFerrari]

57. Where's bin Laden? n/t

[KansDem]

60. I have a question about 9/11...

When Bush was told by his Chief of Staff, "We are under attack...", Bush did nothing but sat there with a blank look on his face. Weren't you folks in the Secret Service suppose to whisk him out of the room and off to safety? I mean, if the United States was under attack, couldn't the President be a target? And if the President were a target, wouldn't all the kids in the school room be a target? Who knows what the attackers had in mind, so wouldn't if have been prudent to have whisked the President away to safety?

Just curious about what were you thinking that day?

You may PM me if you wish...

[L84TEA]

62. No ...seriously...

please tell me they have better things to do on our dime???

[dapper]

63. Dear Agent So and So....

deleted- can't get the ascii working...

[librechik]

70. Hi Agent Mike! Keepin busy?

guess so...

[Temporary1]

74. My sis works for DHS and I've done roleplaying for them

They aren't all bloodthirsty fascists, believe it or not, but I'd say the people directing them like Bush and Gonzo would go in that category.

[Nikki Stone 1]

75. Hey Agent Mike! Have you ever considered real estate?

Though it's pretty competitive now, you don't have to risk your life.

[rosesaylavee]

76. Question for Agent Mikey

Did you investigate O'Lielly (Ok, Bill O'Reilly) when he invited terrorists to take out San Francisco? Did you even call him and tell him to carefully consider what the hell he says before he says it?

Nothing against you personally - but the imbalance of what is acceptable for some and not others is very disturbing.

[proudlibal]

78. oh yeah

I second that!!! :hide:

[rosesaylavee]

79. Welcome to DU!

This is a great place that even Agent Mikey enjoys I bet!

[bdamomma]

120. Yes, go spread your agent eyes on other boards and report back here

and you will see we are the best board you'll ever come across.

Happy Spying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RevCheesehead]

77. I said hi to Agent Mike over a year ago.

But it doesn't hurt to keep the lovin' goin'. ;)

Agent:loveya:Mike

[rhiannon55]

81. Hey Agent Mike, you might know...

Did Pickles really move into the Mayflower Hotel? Are those crazy kids fighting again? Come on, girlfriend--dish!;)

[AspenRose]

84. Hello and thank you for your hard work and sacrifice.

Seriously.

:hi:

[Rex]

86. Since you're not reading any of these posts.

Thank you for your time. :evilgrin:

[ramblin_dave]

87. On 9/11 why did you guys let Bush just sit there after

the second plane hit the WTC? Did you know he was in no danger? Just wondering.

[jazzjunkysue]

92. I really want them to haul in a guy who's name is ramblin_dave cause

it would sound so good on Olberman.

I wonder if any of these guys have the cahones to bring in a guy named ramblin_dave and then let it become a 3-day TV/radio newsobsession.

"Ooooooo! be afraid of those nasty, dangerous libruls, like, ramblin_dave."

[MazeRat7]

89. Where do I get one of the walkie-talkie things and some of those glasses ?

[dave123williams]

90. Man, protecting that loser, having to be prepared to take a bullet for him must suck.

I mean; he's the worst President in the history of the country, right?

Maybe Buchanan, but he's definitely in the running.

Of course, you Secret Service guys serve the Country and not just any one President.

Still...having to put your life on the line for a guy that's done so very little to earn the honor he demands must be difficult.

I know I couldn't do it for a guy who cynically paid lip-service to my religious beliefs, just to get elected.

I know I couldn't do it for someone who's played on our fear and our tragedy for nothing more than political advantage.

As much and as roundly as he's detested for being the worst president ever, I don't think you're going to find a lot of people here that think he deserves to die for it....no, the prevailing opinion here is that he should live to be impeached, and enjoy a long, long life of shame and ignominy for what he's done.

Get this straight; we want to knock that smirk off his face using our system of laws and the options open to us under the Constitution.

We want hearings on the war, and the lies that led us in to it. We want him to be held accountable for his actions, for the first time in his tragically pathetic, quantifiably a-moral life.

[roamer65]

107. Bush is the greatest gift to the Dems since Herbert Hoover.

Long live the Bush Crime Family.

[puerco-bellies]

91. Hi, I'm planning to harm..

A chili-cheese dog.

[jimshoes]

93. Hi, If your name is Meagan

I might be your uncle. Hi Meagan. If not, Hi anyway.:hi:

[Tom Joad]

95. Can you investigate Cheney's violent threats against us?

Just askin'. Know you got a tough job and all.

[riverwalker]

97. cue up Johnny Rivers

Secret agent man, secret agent man
They've given you a number and taken away your name

p.s
Someday I hope you guys write a book about Jeff Gannon and his midnight Whitehouse visits. Like the revelations about Hoover and his fondness for pink chiffon.

[mitchum]

98. How does it feel to be a tool of a gang of criminals?

[bdamomma]

121. or a flea on a windshield.

[SPKrazy]

99. Agent Southpaw Here

how's all the secret service agents here doing.

good thing we have nothing to do but monitor DU

you know those damned terrists are out there lurking on the internets

we gotta catch them

[Marie26]

100. Hi Agent Mike

Don't you have better things to do?

[formercia]

102. Take me to court

I would love discovery on your past crimes in the name of patriotism.

[civildisoBDence]

103. Is it true that the 100th post on this thread wins a meal with Agent Mike?

I'm free a week from Tuesday, when we'll all want to raise a pint for the beginning of the end of DUUUUHbya's misadministration.

Newsprism

[civildisoBDence]

104. DOH!

Just missed.

Here's something to look into, Mr. Mike:

Looks like a death threat against two-thirds of the Congress!

[Malikshah]

105. Oh, btw-- just a suggestion.

Don't try the high and mighty route. Do not speak of honor.
Do not try shame.

Those will only bounce back in your face, Agent Mike, like a reflection in a mirror.

The instigators quite rightly have to be rooted out, the job must be done. But do not speak of honor.

[Evergreen Emerald]

106. I'll bet you know the answer to this, being so close to the president and all...

Does Cheney have his hand up Bu*h ass or do they use strings?

[Justitia]

125. ROFL!!! -eom

[byronius]

108. I honor their service. As people, I'm sure they know what's what.

Doing the job, doing the job, the face matters not. Fine with me.

No liberal would want George Bush assassinated. It would render him a martyr. He needs to be impeached, and we need to set things right again in this beleaguered nation, by proceeding in a civil fashion to end election fraud forever, investigate war profiteering and crimes against the state, and restore civil liberties. Boring stuff like that. Procedure, just like you guys. Doing the job. Making it right. Growing up as a nation.

You have the honor of protecting the worst president ever. The fact that you do your job so well for such an incompetent man of such dark designs shows you to be true civil servants, albeit in a difficult position. Secret Service guys are smart. No cronies allowed -- only the cream of the crop. Therefore, they've figured it out by now. That's a hard place to be in, locked into a professional stance like that. Wow. And these guys don't crack. Until -- when? Tanks and sonic crowd control on the rioting population of Cinncinati, where their mom and dad and little sister live? The suspension of all civil liberty to oligarchic tyrancy? When does a man choose between his job and his nation? Man, there's a screenplay in that.

[kitty1]

110. I propose a statue in Baghdad for "The Butcher of Baghdad"

I think Bush's likeness in marble would look splendid in the downtown Baghdad Court. Don't you agent Mike?

[roamer65]

112. Yeah, the pigeons need something...

to shit on since most buildings have been levelled. I think the statue is a great idea.

[bdamomma]

111. Can you stop treating all of us who believe in free speech

as criminals, we already know who the criminals are!!! Have a nice evening.

[roamer65]

114. I wonder if Agent Mike is gay...

mmm...you think?:patriot:

[NMMNG]

137. What does that have to do with anything?

:shrug:

[Lochloosa]

115. Hi Agent Mike....

My name is Cliff ....

Oh never mind..you know my name already.

And I live in Jacksonville, FL....oh shit you know that already.

Call me if there is anything else I can help you with...my number is...904...oh forgot...you have that already

Anyway....call...I have the shit on Skinner.....trust me...

[Cleita]

119. Bravo!

:applause:

Also, you might add this. The next time you take your boss a beer, ask him how he justifies the expense of building a seven hundred mile wall at the Mexican border when the city of New Orleans still is lying in shambles a year after Hurricane Katrina.

[bdamomma]

122. yea, and ask him he's protecting the southern border, has he

forgotten the northern border, or maybe there are no "brown people' up there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Name removed]

123. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[IndyBob]

124. Oh well, zip up the flame suit

I wonder how political the secret service guys are. My feeling is they are professional, and mainly interested in doing their jobs well. The Big Dog was protected quite well, despite a bunch of gun toting Freepers in rage.

[Justitia]

126. Well, reading DU has got to be better than minding *'s drunken daughters, right?

I bet THAT shit gets real old.

Too bad you have to mind a sociopath. At least he goes to bed early!

[yorkiemommie1]

127. Suggested reading, agents Mike and Michelle,

PREAMBLE

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

and wait, it gets even better!

http://www.law.emory.edu/FEDERAL/usconst.html

otoh, maybe it's Officer Obie's kid we're dealing with....

http://www.arlo.net/resources/lyrics/alices.shtml

[upi402]

128. I don't like being spied on, as an American, but;

I like the thought of a spy reading these self-evident truths.

Test that whistle-blower law and be a hero, a true patriot.

[Klimmer]

130. Dear Agent Mike . . .

I'm going to make it easy for you. You probably already know this about me but it is nice to have it all in one place. No doubt you probably have a profile on all of us anyway . . .

What I believe, and who I am:

1) The Bush Family is THE BUSH CRIME FAMILY, no doubt.

2) I don't believe in the death penalty, but for the crimes of the BCF and the criminal Rethug Neo-con administration, I do advocate righteous justice and when convicted life in prison.

3) 9-11 was an inside job (MIHOP), but I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

4) The election of 2000, 2002, 2004 were stolen using many methods including electronic black-box (via Diebold et al.) election fraud. Once again, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

5) The Bush Crime Family and the criminal Rethug Neo-con administration are all about power, money, lies, election fraud, big oil, environmental degradation, war and war-profiteering, a New World Order, eliminating the Constitution of the US and the Bill of Rights, spying, secret government, fear and false-flag operations to achieve this fear, endless corrupt power, just to name a few of their traits.

6) I'm a peace-time veteran and I love my country. I love my wife, children, immediate family, extended family and relatives, and my friends. I love the freedoms that this country was founded on, and I will fight to protect these civil liberties and the Constitution of the United States which I swore to uphold and defend.

7) I don't believe in suicide. Suicide is never an option.

8) I will fight for my life and the life of my family if we are ever threatened or endangered.

9) I don't believe in violence. I do believe in CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE when and if there comes a time to do so. Dissent is patriotic.

10) My family, relatives, friends, and co-workers all pretty much know how I feel and what I think about all of this. I have nothing to hide. If I'm ever "suicided" or "disappeared" they will know.

11) I fear for the future of our country, what my children will inherit. I fear for the future of our planet.


Agent Mike, these are very dark times, and unfortunately you are a part of it. I would hope you could find other work, and rather work to defend the Constitution and to save this country. Look within your soul and ask if you are doing the right thing and then change.

[The_Casual_Observer]

131. cheney you!

[Spiffarino]

132. I wish George W. Bush good health and a long life

Preferably in a Federal penitentiary.

[OneBlueSky]

134. so . . . Agent Mike . . . (or Agent Michelle, as the case may be) . . .

:hi:

will you be accompanying Fearless Leader when he makes his escape to Paraguay? . . . just curious . . .

[NMMNG]

136. Hello Mr/Ms SS Agent

I've said more than once here on DU that I neither advocate nor celebrate the death of anyone--even someone as morally repugnant as Mr. Bush.

You might want to check out Free Republic however. They advocate death on a regular basis over there, particularly for anybody who is Liberal or gay.

[NJCher]

139. tips on keeping your self-esteem

Thank you, Boolean, with getting the ball rolling and writing such an excellent series of questions for our esteemed protector, Agent Mike.

I would like to say this to Agent Mike. I know what it's like to work for a complete and total moron. A good part of my life has been spent tolerating a situation like yours. Doesn't it just gripe your ass that life is like that? How does that work, anyway? What kind of a system results in thieves, thugs, and pedophiles rising to the top?

Why, I just don't understand it.

:shrug:

With capitalism, doesn't the best idea rise to the top? The best system, the best product, and the most productive workers? And in a democracy, the politicians who best represent the people?

So how did you end up protecting the most worthless piece of crap to come down the human sewage pipe since Adolf?

Yeah, I know you need a job and you have a mortgage and probably a house full of mouths to feed. Me too, even though the mouths around here are pretty happy with Fancy Feast.

Tell ya' a story. When I worked for the pharmaceutical overlords (your boss's boss), they asked me, as Webmaster, to post some bush propaganda on the company's intranet. The idea was to get the 7000 people who worked there to vote for bush, since this was at election time. I said OK. But then I forgot about it and went to lunch. Also took a nap for about two hours. They asked about it again and I said, "Well, damn, I posted that stuff. You mean it's not showing up for you?" Two days later I still hadn't solved that technical snafu. But I finally got it fixed, about two hours before the precincts closed.

That's how I maintain my self esteem. Just a little tip for you there.




Cher

[PATRICK]

141. Profiles

of the violent who have committed such in the past are almost universally RW types, the violently insane or paid tools of anti-democratic interests- or all of the above in one. Unless someone is distracting the Secret service from more fertile grounds I would like to believe this is routine obligatory treatment.

Logically the difficult salvation of democracy is not served by violence or overthrow. Violence is not a viable moral option at all, thank God, because the danger continues and strengthens with each such "solution", even so called just wars and civil revolutions. And most liberals don't even like violence as a part of their hardwired make-up, with the exceptions achieving mainly tragic contradictions such as neo-cons and revolutionaries. Nor can the human race in these times SURVIVE with violent business as historically usual. To earn survival, violence must be ended totally.

What is most heard on these boards is tinged with a rational fear of a fraudulent regime turned bad abusing tools we honor and otherwise need, including our security forces and public servants. We trust that most such Americans will serve their real duty in these difficult times with our full support- but not meek submission to administration injustice for personal convenience.

[proud2BlibKansan]

143. Hey Agent Mike!

What about those death threats against Cindy Sheehan? They were posted a few months ago on a discussion board for cops. Last time I checked, they were still there.

I guess you guys and the FBI have been too busy protecting the president and looking for bin laden, eh?

[PuraVidaDreamin]

144. Agent Mike we are fighting for your kids future too!

Hopefully someday your family will have an intact
Constitution with Bill of Rights to protect them.
Hopefully someday you will have a president who will
not treat your children as cannon fodder.

[leesa]

147. Hi Agent Mike...How did you guys know Bush wasn't in any danger on 9-11?

How did you know he didn't need to be moved out of that school? You must be really smart!

[lonestarnot]

149. Hi Agent Mike! We don't believe in waterboarding freeps either!

:hi:

[Raster]

151. Dear Agent Mike/Matilda: Everyone here at DU wants bush* and cheney*

to be in the peak of health for their impeachment and subsequent war crimes trials.

We think you girls and guys in the Secret Service deserve a rousing round of applause:applause: for selflessly protecting persons as odious and nauseating as bush* and cheney*. Do you guys get hazard pay for all the brimstone and sulfur fumes you are constantly having to inhale? Just kidding...heh heh heh. But seriously, has anyone ever asked bush* what his daddy was doing in Dallas the day JFK was shot? Just curious...:shrug:
:kick:60!

[jarnocan]

152. Freeper types threaten activist frequently! who haven't even

been responsible for thousands of unnecessary deaths, the subversion of our democracy, and negating habeas corpus and most of the bill of rights. Is it a crime to pledge to uphold the constitution and then deliberately undermine it? in which case:
and then ...?
of course not til after a fair trial. Wait I'm not sure how that works now....?
any way I hope WE
IMPEACH Prosecute Investigate and Punish him and other members of his regime if found guilty.

[dollydew]

155. Secret Agent Man

Hi! How are ya? I'm so glad that you are going out of your way to protect a president that openly advocates torture, murder, and mayhem! Now I'm not naive. At least our other presidents kept this stuff hidden (Saddam, Noriega, Kaddafi, Shah of Iran). But this guy openly supports murderous dictators. What happens when you're deemed "not loyal enough" and he comes for you?

[Javaman]

156. Correction on #3...

you need to add, "and sober him up".

[pdrichards114]

158. Hi there Secret Agent Man, now get back to your real job and catch Osama bin Forgotten

[Nordmadr]

159. Hi Mike. I know you are just saving time by doing a keyword

search anyway so:

terror
Bush
marijuana
sex
hooker
Ak-47
money
Iraq
cocaine
testimony
secret
taxes
pornography
Castro
flood
Iran
nuclear
North Korea
Putin
Fitzgerald (FITZ!)
revolution


Oh yeah, and pizza. Everyone loves pizza.

:spank:

Try bothering the folks that are actually damaging the country, not the ones trying to save it.
Olafr

[Ino]

160. Dear Secret Agent Woman (or Man)...

I know it's your job to protect "The Office" of the President, and you are single-mindedly devoted to that.

But when you first wake up for another day of protecting, do you sometimes think, "He is not worthy"?

When The Great One comically hoists himself from the SUV while you hold the door, does the thought "What a doofus!" ever flit behind your expressionless face?

What do you think of your charge, in your heart of hearts... beyond the job?

[SPKrazy]

165. Can I Just Say

screw you mr/ms secret service agent

i know you are just doing your job

but i think that your job has been to harrass people under the * administration for too long

did you always do your job the way you do now?

i mean, investigate away on people who make threats

but why do you arrest people for protesting at anti * rallies that are "too close" to *?

just wondering

[Jed Dilligan]

167. "Just doing their job"

just like that other SS

[SPKrazy]

168. yeah, there is that n/t

[Cha]

166. Brilliant, boolean!

Somebody had to do it..and you did it so well!

:hi: Mr/Ms Secret Service Agent..Welcome to our humble board. :patriot: :partriot: