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As I was thumbtacking up a cardboard picture of a ghost onto my front door, I couldn't help but wonder if my fundie neighbor Phil would come out and try and "save" me from celebrating one of my favorite heathen holidays.
Last year Phil's kids dressed like over pressed suited repub business men, marched up and down the street handing out rapture pamphlets. I couldn't help but laugh, when I offered them some candy, they greedily took it, however I found it sad that they had to smuggle it back into their house via their cheep plastic toy suite case. Sigh.
Anyway, as if I could set my watch by him, over saunters Phil.
Pleadingly, I looked at the paper ghost, "sure, your dead already".
"howdy doody, neighbor", Phil chortled. "I see you are still playing up that devil stuff".
Trying to maintain my peace, "It's a ghost, Phil". I tried my best to ignore him, but Phil is like that little burr that gets caught in your sock, you scratch and scratch, until the end of the day and you notice a small bloody scab has formed.
"Well, if you don't already know, we are all going to hell a week from Tuesday", Phil smiled smugly.
I replied, "If I recall, not to long ago, you told me that the rapture was going to fall on a past Tuesday?"
Phil quickly of brushed that aside saying, "oh that, the minister said it was a Tuesday but not which Tuesday".
"That's very convenient, so what makes a week from Tuesday any different?". I had a suspicion but I wanted to hear it from Phil.
"Why, it's election day, of course!", Phil replied blindly.
Getting down off my step ladder, I knew that this conversation was now taking a turn to which, I wanted to beat the living daylights out of Phil, verbally of course. And frankly that was long in coming.
"so Phil what you are saying that because it appears as if the repubs are going to lose big time, that will bring on the rapture?" I prodded.
"well, duh!", Phil replied like the child he his.
"Oh, so what you are saying is that the majority of people who are voting in this coming election that want to oust the failure repubs are, are all possessed by the devil?", I eyed Phil.
"you got it bub!" Phil replied.
Time and time again phil will amaze me with his zealot-like devotion to stupidity.
"Phil, let me put it to you gently, have you ever thought that the endless stream of corruption, perversion, stealing, lies and down right dirty politics are maybe the reason that people have finally come to their senses and that it's time for a change?" I retorted.
"Change? Change what? G Dubya is the president and knows exactly what he's doing", Phil replied a matter a factly.
It was at this point, I couldn't honestly take it any longer, "You know Phil, we live next door to each other so I will try my best to keep this as civil as possible, but I will tell you right now, I can't guarantee that. You come over here time and time again to criticize me and my beliefs, I really don't care for your brand of "religion", but I have come to realize that the concept of "live and let live", is something your brand of religion has completely divorced itself of and now you are blurring the line between church and state by taking a queue from that moron* in Washington by furthering the belief that once the Democrats take control, life as we know it will end in a fireball of rapture. Now you listen you me you fringe nut job, get off my lawn, get off my property and never ever set foot on my property again, otherwise I will call the cops!" Oddly, I did this more in a hiss rather than raising my voice. Phil stood there stunned.
Phil stammered, "I was just trying to have a little fun..."
I cut him off, "This country is going into the toilet and the best you can say in your defense, you mindless goose stepping robot is that you thought all of this was in fun? What in heavens name is the matter with you? Open your eyes, look around you, the country is in deep shit."
"I meant no harm..." Phil's lame attempt at retort.
"no harm? There are close to 3000 men and women dead in Iraq. You meant no harm? How much of fox news do you ingest on a daily basis? Phil, go away, you want to know what's wrong with America? It's people like you that blindly follow "elected" officials over the cliff and only ask, how long will we be flying?" I shook my head. I felt the vein on my forehead begin to pulsate, I had to calm down. But I have to admit it felt really good.
Phil stood there agape. I don't think anyone, at least not in a very long time, spoke to him in a tone like that.
"so tell me Phil, do you still believe that your rapture is coming a week from Tuesday or have you fallen into a pit of total and complete delusion that you are finally seeing the nation for what it has become?" I stood patiently.
Phil blinked several times. He glanced around, he saw others on the block that had Democratic party signs in their front yards along with American flags. I suddenly realized what was I was witnessing, it was the adult version of realizing there isn't any Santa Claus. Phil was speechless.
Numbed, Phil sort of walked away. Still gaping at the world around him. Had I woken Phil from his self induced fundie fog? Had I opened his eyes to the American tragedy that has been labeled the "American Dream"? I honestly don't know, but what I think happened is something just as ground shaking, the repubs have been on top so long that they didn't think that defeat was possible. That we Dems can actually stick up for ourselves and not back down by their spewed hatred and vitriol.
I can't predict the future, but I will say this, change starts in the trenches. Unless we stand up for this country, the Democratic party and just ourselves in general, their brand, the neo-con brand will continue to run roughshod over this nation.
Until next tuesday, I will be celebrating Halloween, which maybe our last holiday we will ever have as a free nation. Now that is a scary enough thought fittingly enough for Halloween.
*this is another installment of conversations with my fictional fundie ultra right wing neighbor Phil.
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