How can I tell him?

[Samantha]

My getting an email from Newt Gingrich asking for a contribution is somewhat like Al Gore getting one from Katherine Harris asking for his support. Posted this evening for your political reading enjoyment (and suggestions for a response) ....

**************************************************

Dear (Samantha),

"Real reform in America doesn't come from the top. It comes from the people. The common-sense values of the American people are what twice elected Ronald Reagan and in 1994 elected the first Republican Congress in forty years. Your commitment to these American values has given us a continued Republican majority under the leadership of President Bush, who has led with unwavering determination in the global war for the survival of freedom.

(side-note: Can someone please hand me a barf bag?)

(omission for copyright limitations -- but read on)

"If you agree with me that the future of our country is too important to be left to Democrats who represent an attitude of appeasement, surrender, and weakness, I hope you'll join me in supporting the Republican National Committee in retaining our hard-won majorities with your contribution of $250, $100, $50, or even $25. (emphasis added).

(omission)

"A House under Speaker Pelosi and a Senate under Majority Leader Harry Reid would be a disaster for America. The key Democrat leaders who would be in control of how much you pay in taxes, defense funding, and investigations against the President and the War on Terror are some of the most liberal, out-of-the-mainstream members of their party. They haven't changed. In fact, they've become even more liberal and beholden to the special interests who bankroll them.

Excuse me, Newt ... I thought Bush* was the master of disaster -- how could Nancy and Harry possibly be as bad? But back to your email ...

(omission)

"Once again, our candidates are depending on the RNC to provide the field staff, absentee ballot mailings and get-out-the-vote phone calls they need to win. Republican candidates from every region of our country need this support to continue fighting for the values we share -- we can't fail them now. Show your support for these vital efforts today by making a special Campaign 2006 contribution at GOP.com/Newt.

(another side note: Okay, so we already know about the Republican party and absentee ballots, Newt. The late, great Ann Richards filled us in on this when she described how George W. Bush "won" the governorship in Texas from her -- but back to your email)

(omission)

Sincerely,


Newt Gingrich

(final paragraph -- you are gonna love it)

"P.S. There is a very real chance that San Francisco liberal Nancy Pelosi could pound the Speaker's gavel next January -- the same Nancy Pelosi who said "I don't really consider ourselves to be at war." Take a stand for the principles we hold dear by supporting the Republican Party in this fight with your contribution of $250, $100, $50, or even $25. Thank you."

End of Newt's text

and, so my DU friends, how do I tell Newt:

Newt, you hoot, I don't know if you are truly going to run in 2008, as your cohorts are threatening, but --

Even if I were a Republican, I would not support a candidate who served his wife with divorce papers while she was confined to a hospital bed with cancer.

Even if I were a Republican, I would not support a candidate who divorced his wife because, paraphrasing your words, you thought your wife was too old and too ugly to be the First Lady. If young good looks are a requirement to approaching the Oval House, Newt, is it your ego which distorts your look at the man in your home mirror?

Even if I were a Republican, I would not support a candidate who led a charge of impeachment against a great president for having oral sex in the Oval Office with a woman not his wife, especially so that same office could be subsequently occupied by a man who didn't just stain the rug in the Oval Office but dragged the reputation of the whole damn country into the crapper.

Not only would I not support a Republican capable of such thoughts and deeds, I would not support a Democrat or an Independent who conducted himself as have you.

So, I don't know how to tell you this, Newt, but the check is not in the mail.

But thanks for letting me know you think Pelosi has a real chance at being the next speaker. It made my day.

[tkmorris]

1. Well, I think you did a fine job yourself

Just copy and paste what you wrote there into an email, and fire it off. It would undoubtedly be more satisfying to do it in person or by phone but I don't see that happening.

I have to wonder why this man thinks he has any chance whatsoever in 2008, or any other year. The campaign against him just writes itself, ya know?

[Samantha]

2. I guess the Republicans are hungering for Gingrich Revolution Round II

I have heard a few mention it -- I can't believe it either. What in the world do they see in this man? I guess some just don' want McCain and see Newt as the alternative?

I thought I would get some funny suggested responses. Perhaps the night is still young.

[unkachuck]

3. I didn't know....

....you're a republican?.... :) tell Newt you're all tapped-out from contributing to Nancy and all the congressional Dems....he'll understand....

[Samantha]

4. I didn't know I was a Republican either

but if I were, I think I would be supporting McCain. I think the recent buzz about Newt is the anti-McCain movement in action.

Do you think Newt has a chance (with or without my nickel)?