A Draft Kerry "Apology"

[CorpGovActivist]

"You know, the thing about political humor is that it can backfire, when twisted by those who are desperately clutching at straws - anything they think might help them eke out a win. I mistold a joke the other day, and suddenly the White House has a message. OK. Fine. I'm a big boy. I get it. I've been around this town long enough to know that when the GOP spokesflaks at the White House don't have a message of hope for the American people, they'll take any message they can get.

To the troops: please forgive me. I botched the joke. I in no way meant to suggest that you - our fine men and women in uniform - were the butt of my joke. If the President and his spin doctors can't see how I meant *him* to be the butt of my joke - well, then they're not as smart as I gave them credit for in the original joke.

Since this seems to be apology season, though, I've brought along a list of things I'd like Tony Snow to give the official White House apology for:

1. Tony should apologize that Cheney let Enron and Halliburton write energy laws, in secret, behind closed doors. He should apologize for the hundreds of millions of dollars overcharged to the American people for a basic need - energy.

2. Tony should apologize - as the official mouthpiece for this Administration - for letting the pharmaceutical industry keep the prices of prescription drugs artificially high, by banning imports from Canada, and by making Americans pay a markup that is obscene.

3. Tony should apologize - as the official spin doctor for this Administration - for keeping those American troops separated from their loved ones back home for a war of choice. Colin Powell said it best: 'You break it, you buy it.' Bush broke it. We are paying for it dearly - in missed holidays, missed birthdays, missed Little League games, missed proms, missed graduation ceremonies, missed births, and missed lives.

Those are just a few of the many things that Tony Snow could spend the rest of his press conferences - from now until the end of the lame duck period - apologizing for, as the official doubletalker of this Administration. Thank you."

- Dave

[Canuckistanian]

1. That's good.

A direct appeal to the troops and their families with a backhanded smack to the WH.

Then use it to point out all the other major failures of the administration and by extension, Congress itself.

Good stuff. He should run with it exactly like this.

[CorpGovActivist]

2. Rapid Response...

... tactics need to be employed when KKKarl pulls this crap.

- Dave

[goclark]

3. Well said but Kerry is such a decent man

that they would stomp all over him and cut away after the first two lines.


He needs to be very angry and dramatic!
He needs to bring some PROPS like the cheap body armor that Bush gave the troops.
He needs a tape of the WMD "joke" that Bush made at that Press dinner.

He needs to say something like:

"Take A Look At this America and realize that this AWOL President and his AWOL Vice President
have no business telling ME about anything!"

They need to " BRING IT ON" and END THIS WAR!
That's how you support the troops!!






Pound the podium and say ~ " Let's talk about the TROOPS right NOW!

[CorpGovActivist]

5. If Kerry Harbors Hopes...

... of convincing Appalachian voters to give him another chance, he needs to be less baleful and more soulful - fire in the belly!

"He needs to bring some PROPS like the cheap body armor that Bush gave the troops."

Or, he should bring a "flat daddy" or a "flat mommy" with him: http://journals.democraticunderground.com/IdesOfOctober/16

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=%22flat+daddy%22+national+guard

- Dave

[goclark]

9. That's what I'm talking about!

If he ever wants to run for President again, he has got to "Make It Plain" as my Brothers and Sisters say!

Yes, IMO, he will have to apologize for ever voting for this WAR!


You are so right, he needs PROPS or he will never get the attention of the NEOCON NEWS.

He is such a decent man but he needs to remember the FIRE that he had for the Viet Nam War and Get Ready To Bring It ON with all of them!

[CorpGovActivist]

10. He Needs an iPod...

... loaded to the gills with psych-up music. He should be listening to that for the final five minutes before any appearance.

(Thanks, Ides.)

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=michael+phelps+ipod

- Dave

[global1]

4. One Other Thing I Would Add For Tony Snow Is........

"I know that this is a lot of apologies Tony - but its only a number."

[CorpGovActivist]

6. Go Ahead, Tony, Take a Dip in the Apology Waters...

... it's only a dunk.

- Dave

[SammyWinstonJack]

7. He should have been fired for that callous remark!

[CorpGovActivist]

8. He Comes out of His Stint as Spokesflak a Winner, Either Way...

...

1. He succeeds: he's a hero.

2. He fails: if only they'd brought him in earlier, to replace the flop sweater, Scott McClellan.

Either way, he'll get a tell-all book out of it, and a hero's welcome at Fox.

- Dave

[goclark]

11. Forgot to tell you the "Flat Daddies"

Need to be talked about.

I have not seen them before and therefore many Americans have not seen them.

And, Cindy needs to not speak for Kerry but she should do something today or tomorrow that is very dramatic.

When we talk about supporting the TROOPS, let Cindy walk into the offices of the NEOCON NEWS rooms with some FLAT DADDIES tomorrow!

[CorpGovActivist]

12. Military Spouses...

... who support Kerry, and despise Bush, should surround him with their flat daddies - and 3D kids.

- Dave

[goclark]

13. That's what I'm talking about...

They should be at every Republican rally, standing outside with their "Flat Daddies."

[CorpGovActivist]

15. And Then Kerry Could Talk about...

... the failure to honor the parents who come home in a box.

Take a picture of smiling flat daddy or flat mommy? Sure!

Take a picture - or show the picture - of daddy's or mommy's last flight home, to Dover AFB? No.

This entire Administration is full of people who didn't serve, and cannot empathize with the military families.

- Dave

[goclark]

17. He then needs to explain the origin of "it's only a number"

The NEOCON News never really let that get out there.

[CorpGovActivist]

19. Yup, KKKarl Handed Kerry a Megaphone, Huh?

; )

Dumbass. Rove is out of his depth this election.

- Dave

[badgerpup]

22. YEEEOOOWWWCH!

Is this where you say "oh, SNAP!"

or "sa-LAP!"

either way, that one is RIGHT in the chops...:bounce:
:applause: :yourock: :toast:

[CorpGovActivist]

24. Easy There...

... don't want Tony Snow accusing you of having an "anger management" problem now, would you?

; )

- Dave

[Norquist Nemesis]

14. I'm sorry our soldiers and the country continues to be harmed

by the liars in the White House who have made a living out of conning people.

- John Kerry

[CorpGovActivist]

16. He Needs to Do an Authentic Apology Element, Then PIVOT!

There should be no half-assed apology to the troops themselves. No 'I'm sorry IF anyone was offended' crap. Take ownership of the mistake, insofar as it goes.

Then pivot, and put the White House back on the defensive, where they belong.

You'd think a Yale-educated guy like Kerry would understand how to debate.

; )

(Sorry, my Crimson stripes are showing a little bit there.)

- Dave

[goclark]

18. Did John Kerry say that or is that what you want him to say?

[Norquist Nemesis]

25. He didn't say it

I was just using the same sort of non-apology with an extra punch as a "suggestion". :)

[Dr Fate]

20. "I'll apologize after Bush apologizes for lying to the troops & all of us."

Period.

When pressed again- "As I just told you- I'll apologize for how you media people lied about my joke as soon as Bush apologizes for lying to the troops."

Of course, it wouldnt work, b/c a majority of our weak-kneed DEMS would then say "Well, I'm not sure I agree with Kerry that Bush lied to the troops, blah blah blah..."

[goclark]

21. Oh I like that a lot Dr.! BINGO

"I'll apologize after Bush apologizes for lying to the troops & all of us."

[Dr Fate]

23. But no one would back him up if he did. n/t

n/t

[IdesOfOctober]

26. Magnificent!

Though I heard Kerry dropped 3 campaign events in PA as a result.

Ides