And if I felt any safer, I swear I’d shit my pants tonight!

[David Zephyr]

1. Only to protect us, George Bush’s civilian political strategists forced our U.S. Defense Department to publish dangerous nuclear technology information onto the internet to the glee of terrorists and dangerous minds around the world because it was important to discredit the real enemy that we must all be afraid of and hate: his American war critics. And if I felt any safer, I swear I’d shit my pants tonight!

2.) And only to protect us, George Bush’s Pentagon closed down the only military unit tracking Osama bin Laden who killed 3,000 Americans on 9/1, and probably because the President had earlier said “I rarely think about him.” Now he doesn’t have to think about him at all and can focus entirely on “keeping America secure”. And if I felt any safer, I swear I’d shit my pants tonight!

3.) And only to protect us, George Bush’s Justice Department gave up entirely on ever trying apprehend whoever in the hell launched the first biological attack on America with Anthrax which killed our citizens and shut down the entire U.S. Congress, because they knew that if we all just purchased some duct tape we’d survive. And if I felt any safer, I swear I’d shit my pants tonight!

4.) And only to protect us, George Bush’s Administration pushed to turn over our national port security to a nebulous and faceless corporation in Dubai with clear ties to terrorists because it would send a strong signal of support to an ally of ours in the “war against terror”. And if I felt any safer, I swear I’d shit my pants tonight!

5.) And only to protect us, George Bush refused to return from his month-long vacation after he was presented with a CIA daily memo titled “Bin Laden Determined to Attack Within the U.S.” because the President can’t show knew-jerk reactions to such “ambiguous threats” like that. And if I felt any safer, I swear I’d shit my pants tonight!

6.) And only to protect us, George Bush wasn’t really completely ignoring our citizens --- who were drowning and starving in the streets as Katrina destroyed New Orleans. Of course not! He was blowing out candles on John McCain’s birthday cake in Arizona and playing air guitar in San Diego so that we wouldn’t panic and hurt ourselves. And if I felt any safer, I swear I’d shit my pants tonight!

7.) And only to protect us, George Bush astutely put the PR man for a horse show in charge of the Federal Emergency Management Agency and praised him for securing New Orleans so well: “Heck of a good job, Brownie”. And if I felt any safer, I swear I’d shit my pants tonight!

8.) And only to protect us, George Bush showed his courage to the world after the unplanned insurgency broke out in Iraq…yes, he showed his presidential timber and courage by encouraging those wanting to shoot at our troops to “Bring it on!” And if I felt any safer, I swear I’d shit my pants tonight!

9.) And only to protect precious Life itself, George Bush demonstrated what merited abandoning his vacation in Texas and flying back to the Capitol: the national emergency to sign a bill to save Terri Schiavo. And if I felt any safer, I swear I’d shit my pants tonight!

In fact there are just so many examples of George Bush’s strong and enveloping arms protecting our nation that this list could go on forever. I simply can not remember how many times he has come to our rescue. And for that I am so grateful that I must pray for this great leader because if I felt any safer, I swear I’d shit my pants tonight!

[Freedom_from_Chains]

1. Well I can tell you, it's already real effervescent around here. n/t

[whistle]

2. What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?

...LOTS OF ROOM!

[madrchsod]

3. i too feel the spirit

-iran fires brand new missiles , the secret los alamos files they found during the meth bust in new mexico contained the plans to decode nuclear weapon triggers,and the iraqi nuclear bomb plans were on the net. i for one am humbled that a man such george bush protects me

[David Zephyr]

4. Ooooh. Thank you for reminding me: los alamos files they found during the meth bust

"the secret los alamos files they found during the meth bust in new mexico contained the plans to decode nuclear weapon triggers".

We are soooooooo safe.

[Straight Shooter]

5. His strong and enveloping arms.

:rofl:

I feel all warm and fuzzy now. Wait a minute. That isn't fuzz ....

Edit to add: And only to protect us, he sealed all the records from G.H.W. bush's presidency, thus sparing us the trauma of learning the entire sordid truth of Iran-Contra.

[David Zephyr]

7. God yes! See, I'd forgotten about those sealed files.

He's only thinking of us.

[TahitiNut]

6. OK. Here ...

[David Zephyr]

8. Thanks. They work well if you don't have duct tape.

:thumbsup:

[UTUSN]

9. Ha-HAH!!1 Sorry, not reading the post, just your HEADLINE is hilarious!1 n/t

[petgoat]

10. Only to protect us, Bush sought to prevent a 9/11 investigation--

because it would only distract from the war on terror.

Only to protect us, Bush shut down FBI investigations of 9/11--
because the FBI needed to shift its resources to preventing new
attacks, and investigating the 9/11 attacks could only distract
from preventing new attacks.

[The Straight Story]

11. Good post and on the mark

I won't feel safe until his dumb ass is out of power.

[rucky]

12. Don't forget the UAE ports sale. n/t