Help me out here people - gays, straights, sex, oh my! (Gays are my Heroes)

[The Straight Story]

before ya flame me, at least read it all ok ;)

Gays are my Heroes
By The Straight Story

It seems so many televangelists fall prey to sex and then lie about it.

But then, they are not the only ones ya know. Avg Joe and Jane six pack do it all the time to (ie preach about not cheating on someone and then go and do it).

I think it all plays into the fear of animal instinct and humans wanting to hold back the urges. You get married, or in a committed relationship, and you don't want to hurt the other person. Things were going along fine and then bam, one person decides sex is not something they want a lot with you (for whatever reason) and your level did not change. Or maybe you wanted to explore and they didn't.

And maybe, just maybe and I am making a damned big leap here, that is why some gay folks seem pretty damned content. They are more comfortable with their sexuality then others. Now WHY the hell would I make such a statement? Allow me to explain my exposure to things before you flame me :)

I have quite a few gay friends, whom I am very close to, and most of them (except 2 out of the six) have had sex with from 100 to 5000 different people. And they make no bones about it - real simple to em, they enjoy sex and are open about it. Note of course I have some straight friends as well with partners in the 100's, but only a few (3, in the male category).

Which makes me wonder if men, straight ones, have a harder time finding someone for some fun. But perhaps I digress (or do I, are men less emotional about sex and therefore more likely to do it for purely physical reasons? Obviously, there are exceptions to any rules here).

THEN we got the rw'ers. They want the sex, but boxed themselves in with lots of rules. Cant have sex with a man, can only have your one partner, no sex unless in a committed relationship, etc and so on.

This brings me to Haggard and others. You want something, you rail against it to others, but desire it yourself. You supress your own desires and tell others how evil it is. Then you go an do it, like it, but still rail against it to 'save' others from the fun you are having.

The Gay men I know are consistent, and don't have to walk around living a lie (thanks to the hard work of liberals mind you, and there is still a lot of progress to be made).

And yet, here comes people who condemn the many sex partners, etc - WELL FUCKING HELLO PEOPLE why the hell are you then against gay marriage???

So why this big freakin hangup when it comes to sex, especially with straight men (which is why I focused a little more on gay men)?

FULL DISCLOSURE about ME:
I have had sex with two men in my life. And 3 women. One woman I was married to, one I was wanting to marry, and the other one is my wife, AutumnMist.

I will tell you this: Not much sex these days, and not because we don't both like it. Mainly her parkinson's and then my off and on depression. But I don't think about cheating on her - I love sex but I love her more.

I have done everything from bdsm to 'normal' sex. And I kept my desires bottled up in first marriage as wife would not even give me oral as she felt it was dirty (though she liked it when I did for her). And that to ME is the key. Bottling up and hiding our desires and living a lie.

Gay people are my heroes in some ways - they stood up for what they desired, instead of burying it to please a bunch of assholes.

You stared down a society of hatefilled people and along with your liberal friends you fought for your rights.

And let us not forget our female friends (whom I love dearly) who so often get called a slut or a whore for doing what comes natural to humans, sex. Damned sad such labels are there to demean the acts of willing people.

You want to live by god's rules as you interpret them, fine with me. Just stop trying to make others do it to.


APOLOGY: If I offend any of my fellow liberals it was not intentional. I know I left some things out here, and I am hoping in no way did I play into the 'gay stereotype' and sex (I damn well know they can be just as committed as any straight people, and maybe more so as they are more open about their lives).

I don't really care that Haggard had sex with a man, I do care that he and others like him live a lie and are just ticking time bombs who will eventually ruin their own lives and the lives of their children and spouses by hiding behind a message of hate.

You are who you are. Don't make others suffer because you won't be true to your heart and how god made you. Keep the lies going long enough and eventually you will hurt all those around you.

Be loud, be proud, be true.

[davidinalameda]

1. very cool

good post

thank you

[Jamastiene]

2. on top of it all, the rw'ers want the rest of us to live

by their puritanical rules, yet they think they can do anything they wish. It all goes back a long way too. Between Clinton getting "serviced" by an intern and Bush bombing the hell out of children and anyone who is an "A-rab" (as they call them), I'll take the president who gets laid, doesn't go around judging people based on their sexual orientation, and does a better job as president.

I'm still waiting to hear what extremely offensive bullshit Falwell and Robertson will say next. I'm sure they'll top themselves with the most outrageous thing they can say. They never fail. I personally cannot WAIT until their skeletons are exposed. I will be in hog heaven then. Payback, baby.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

3. straight friends as well with partners in the 100's, but only a few (3, in the male category).

What? I'm not your friend? :)

Oh! you meant in real life! nevermind.


:popcorn:

Sex is good. Sex is natural. Go for it, just use protection.

[The Straight Story]

6. I wasn't gonna count the women in my head :)

No idea of what that number would be on those lonely nights I spent pretending the hand was someone else.

No wonder my right hand hates me, I have never given it the respect it deserves ;)

[davidinalameda]

9. that's so wrong

funny as hell but wrong

:rofl:

[The Straight Story]

11. I am heading over to:

juicyclips.com right now just to spite their asses :)

I always fancied myself as a 'handyman'. ;)

[davidinalameda]

25. sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands

;)

[Viva_La_Revolution]

10. ...

:spray:

You are SUCH a degenerate. :)

[The Straight Story]

12. Only on days ending in a Y :) here are some pics of my degenrate self

I just have that degenerate look I suppose :)

[Viva_La_Revolution]

13. the glasses make you look too smart to be a degenerate in the 2nd pic...

However, you got the whole Indiana Jones thing going in the first one. Hubba hubba!!

[The Straight Story]

15. Hubba Hubba my butt....

I am 41, and only had 3 women in my life. I couldn't get a date if it was stamped on a damned milk carton :)

Not that I need or want one now, but I have never seen myself as remotely good looking. My only saving grace is that I write poetry (ala my sig line) and I have a cute dog. Chicks seem to dig cute dogs ;)

but THANK YOU. You made my night. I just don't feel much like getting compliments tonight, a little down for a lot of reasons. I am really hoping right now that the light I am waiting for at the end of the tunnel is not from a nuclear weapon...

[Viva_La_Revolution]

17. Well, not too many women out there with good taste then

I said Hubba hubba, and I meant it. It shows in your eyes. Deal with it.

[The Straight Story]

19. Liberal women seem to be damn good and sweet

And you are no exception. Thanks again for making my night. Given the hell I am going through on multiple levels today it means a lot.

[Catherine Vincent]

20. She's right. You are good looking.

Sorry you are having a bad night.

[The Straight Story]

23. I am having a bad two years

Tonight has only made it worse in some ways.

I just want the simple things, to take care of the wife and pay the bills. And that is all crumbling around me in some ways.

Ever since mom died life has been one bad thing after another. Maybe someday I will get a break :)

Would that I could take the pain of all those I loved and deal with it myself so they would not suffer.

I don't care about me, but I am at a loss right now for those which I love. I learned today that I probably won't get paid while off work taking care of the wife. So I am stuck.

Sigh....will quit while I am ahead and go to bed I hope with the kind words of you and others.

[Pachamama]

26. Oh you naughty, naughty girl!

:spank:

From one naughty girl to another.... :hi:

[readmoreoften]

4. No flame here, straight story. Although I have no gay male friends who've gotten that lucky.

I will say that because we're gay we have don't really have to play games to one another. I've never had to say to my date, "will you respect me in the morning" (other than as a joke). Although if a woman in my crew sleeps with every dyke on the planet, most of my friends won't want to sleep with her, not because they think she's "dirty"; but because they won't feel special or important to her.

Because we are constantly told we are dirty, lesbians tend not to name call one another. And, although I would say almost ALL of my male friends over 30 are looking for that special man to settle down with, the younger guys playing the field do have the advantage of *not* having to cut through issues of lost purity with their dates.

As a former sex worker, I think I can say that there are plenty of straight men with mondo perversions that they hide for dear life.

The one critique I have of your post is this though "The Gay men I know are consistent, and don't have to walk around living a lie (thanks to the hard work of liberals mind you, and there is still a lot of progress to be made)"

Gay people have the hard work of gay people to thank for the progress we have made. Liberals really got aboard this ship last minute. I'm glad I have the straight progressive friends that I do, and I cherish the straights that stand and fight beside us, but so far what queers have got has come from queers.

[The Straight Story]

5. Kudos to you all

For fighting and standing up for yourselves.

I am truly saddened that you were let down by liberals early on - but hey, we are here now for you!

[TlalocW]

7. "Which makes me wonder if men, straight ones, have a harder time finding someone for some fun."

Like Dave Barry said in one of his books, women can handle a relationship with men in two ways - by screwing his brains out for which she'll be rewarded with dog-like devotion or withholding all sexual favors until later for which she'll be rewarded with dog-like devotion.

TlalocW

[Digit]

8. My best friend is a gay man

I did not know he was gay when we first became friends.
I love the fact that he opened up to me and trusted me enough not to spread it about the office.
He is who he is and I respect him for that.

It is the people out there condemning others for being gay or bisexual while they live the same life in the closet that I find offensive.

People are all different. Accept it.

[Catherine Vincent]

14. You find out something new everyday about DUers.

:)

[The Straight Story]

16. Well, hopefully, I will find out something new about you then ;)

As far as new about me...well, I try to be an open book because I can here. Is damned refreshing.

[NMMNG]

18. Well stated

And yet, here comes people who condemn the many sex partners, etc - WELL FUCKING HELLO PEOPLE why the hell are you then against gay marriage???

Because they want to be able to keep condemning multiple sex partners.

They refuse to let gays get married, then condemn them for not making formal long-term commitments. They conveniently ignore the fact that they themselves are preventing gays from making said commitments.

[mogster]

21. Musical acolade:

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me - Elton John/George Michael

From 1993, a 'moment' in music history for sure. The goosebumps on the people in the crowd were reported not to disappear for several weeks ;-)

Watch it while you can, youtube is purging music from it's site faster than they're uploaded.

[mogster]

27. OK, so here's a version with better sound

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixOlh1nxzTs&mode=related&search=

At the time this song was made, the future was so bright, we hadda wear shades and gays were on the way to that future. As was multi culture, coexistence and peace. What happened, really?

[Raster]

22. Does anyone else hear Bette Midler doing "Wind Beneath My Wings"

[McKenzie]

24. Ever wonder why sex is stigmatised and depicted as somehow "dirty"

it allows the hypocrites to use sex as a weapon because the sheeple follow the script that is stuck under their collective nose. So people who indulge in what is perfectly natural behaviour can thus be stigmatised because the sheeple are told it is wrong and they will go to hell for simply masturbating (damn...and I don't like the heat either). If sex wasn't made into such a big deal discovering that some politician likes a bit of alternative whatever would be of no significance. As things stand people live in mortal fear of their "dirty" habits being made public. The huge emphasis on matters sexual is a deliberate policy imho.

The Europeans don't get in a lather ('scuse pun) about other people's sex lives...except we Brits who are riddled with hang ups about the act that brought us all into the world in the first place.

Good post TSS.

[TahitiNut]

29. "If it's not dirty, you're not doing it right."

Yeah, that's an obscenity (in my 'book') ... but kinda funny, nonetheless, I think.

I learned about sex "on the block" - behind the garage - in the basement - in hiding - with "dirty" magazines. I think a lot of us did. I think SOME have the 'dirty' part so tightly associated with sex that they "can't get it up" unless it's got the same "dirty" feel - taboo - wrong - shameful. I'm thinking that's a bit like a addiction. Funny how the "dirt" wears off and loses its potency ... and that makes it necessary to go for something even dirtier. That's a bottomless hole - a no-limit quest. Sad.

For that reason alone, I support sex education. (It should be taught with background music, I think.)

[TahitiNut]

28. Thoughts ... in no particular order.

I don't know how many people I've had intercourse with. I'm not really even sure who was first. For some reason, it's never been something I felt deserved an anniversary. First kiss? I dunno. That's DEFINITELY not to say it's been many (maybe 20 plus or minus?) or unimportant - I still, today regard each relationship in its entirety ... and special and unique. Maybe it's that I don't "commoditize" - so I don't "tally" things that are, each in and of themselves, one-of-a-kind. (Funny thing for a math and computer 'geek' - but true.) Different things remind me of different people - and not one of another.

I remember Betsy - special... intense... inelevens or intwelves, even. I remember Denise - unique... transcendent. I remember Butch - trust... learning. I remember Ellen - honor and integrity. I remember Chris - seeing her bottom in the dim light as she walked to the bathroom... intimate, candid, and endearing. I remember Yuko - her 'private' face... that of a joyful inner child. I remember ... well, maybe that makes a point. I've always held my relationships with other human beings as personal between ourselves - each totally unique and incomparable - well worth respecting. I just don't regard them as topics for conversation (except in the most anonymous, abbreviated, private sense) or anyone else's concern or even entering in some ledger or counting book. They are part of me. I'd not be me without them. Each are essential to who I am.



Every kiss is the "first kiss" - and I don't say that flippantly or with some self-inflated sense of romanticism. (In fact, I'm just now realizing this ... not really having regarded it as such before. Indeed, I'm a bit surprised at it.) So, I guess, I don't really remember a first first ... not unless it was the first girl I had some feelings about that weren't like I felt about a relative or another boy in the neighborhood. Kathy. First grade. We were both six years old. We told her mother we were getting married. But not until we were older. Sixteen. We figured that was "old." Yeah. I guess that was special. But I really don't remember kissing her for the first time - or ever, really. I just remember HER - and our relationship.


I've been married twice. Funny, but I don't think of that as "failure" - more like amazingly fortunate for a guy who once sorta doubted he'd ever find a beautiful woman who'd love him, - and I found two that love me enough to marry me. (For a while, at least.)


I think the biggest "hangup" (inhibitor) for me over the many, many years (as a straight guy) ... is the specter (false notion) of "performance." Maybe it's the way males are trained in this society. Or maybe it's just the way this male was raised. Dunno. (But I don't think I'm very unique that way.) So much of EVERYTHING I've done - from painting a room to taking a class to driving a car to making love - has always had the element of "well, how'd I do?" Getting graded. (Blechh!!!) "How was it for you?" (I needed to ask?? Yikes!) I finally "discovered" (quite happily, as a matter of fact) that any such worry/thought/concern was an absolute, foolproof indicator that I had no business whatsoever climbing into the sack with that one! (Whew!) It sure kept me (finally) from kissing a lot of toads. Quite frankly, I now regard any such inference or suggestion as an ultimate obscenity. 'Performance' grading means comparing. Commoditizing. Demeaning. No thanks.

But that's all academic, I guess. After all, I'm celibate. :silly: