For those with children: would you be afraid to live near a convicted pedophile?

[survivor999]

And why? I don't have kids.

[Beelzebud]

1. Sexual attraction doesn't go away with prison or therapy.

People who are attracted to children, sexually, will always be.

I wouldn't want one living near my family...

[gollygee]

2. Hmm it's complicated

I guess the short answer is yes, but on the other hand I supervise my daughter.

Also, there are lots of pedophiles who haven't been caught, so not knowing there is a pedophile near you is no reason to be relaxed and assume everything is fine.

Parents just have to be cautious and have their eyes open. And teach their kids about inappropriate touching, and have good relationships with their kids so their kids aren't afraid to tell them if something happens.

But the whole idea of pedophiles is scary.

[Warpy]

3. The ones who register and comply with the law aren't the ones

I'd worry about. The dangerous ones are the ones who haven't been caught yet and the ones who have disappeared from the system.

These guys are well disguised. They're always the last men you'd suspect, respectable family men, frequent churchgoers, coaches and leaders.

[Ilsa]

4. They have started listing teenage boys who went too far with

15 year old girls as "sex offenders", preventing them from seeking employment in certain careers, etc. Since applying this standard to typical teen activities, I've lost faith in what the designation means. I don't know if it means "a dirty old man who wants a kid to pet his exposed wanker", or a 17 year old boy who got to third base with a voluptuous 14 year old girl.

We probably have a few registered sex offenders designated as living in my neighborhood. But I don't let my kids wander about unsupervised. I'm more worried about them running into traffic than pedophiles.

[gollygee]

5. I wish the lists were more detailed

because you're right, I'm not worried about an 18-year-old who dated a 15-year-old.

Also, I've heard that crimes like public urination can be included in some areas. I don't know how true that in particular is, but it seems likely that there could be things that would not concern me as a parent that would be generally listed as "sex crimes".

[Kindigger]

22. Exactly!

My mom has 7-8 such designated people within four blocks of her house. The whole thing has gotten out of hand.

[YellingTuna]

31. good point

I agree totally with that point.

[boolean]

6. The pedophile fear is complete hogwash

Your kid has a bigger chance of falling down the stairs and cracking his skull than being snatched up by a pedophile. 99% of all pedophiles commit crimes against children related to them. Sons, daughters, nephews, etc. I'm not saying random attacks don't happen, but their numbers are completely overblown.

It's a media driven fear that gets them ratings.

[gollygee]

8. I don't know about 99%

Pedophiles attack the kids who are most available to them. If they have kids, then yes that's generally who they attack. But they also sometimes attack friends of their kids. And some pedophiles befriend families to gain access to kids, or get jobs or volunteer places where they can have access to kids.

So I'd agree with "most" but not 99%.

[survivor999]

9. Probably correct...

Frequency of mention on TV becomes frequency of occurrence in people's mind. The real stats are very different.

[Arkansas Granny]

14. My daughter and my niece were both approached by men who

were known to the family and regarded as good neighbors when the girls were ages 6 and 8 respectively. Pedophiles don't always prey on family members.

[survivor999]

15. Approached? You mean, they tried to

molest them?

[Arkansas Granny]

20. No actual "touching" took place. One was asked to disrobe,

the other was asked if she wanted to touch him when he exposed himself. Both of these men had been neighbors for some time and were known to the entire family. Luckily, both girls knew to leave immediately and inform an adult of what had happened.

[survivor999]

21. Bastards.

What did you do? Did you threaten top call the cops? Did you call the cops? Difficult situation.

[Arkansas Granny]

25. The matter was discussed with law enforcement. This was

many years ago and at that time to bring charges would have meant having the girls testify in court, which, in our minds, would have been too traumatic for the girls. However, we were told that the complaint would be noted and that special attention would be focused on these individuals. The men involved also knew that we were aware of what had happened, that we had informed the neighborhood of what had happened and they knew that any relationship they tried to develop with any of the neighborhood children would be closely scrutinized. We aren't sure to this day if we made the right decision, but it seemed like the best choice at the time.

[survivor999]

26. Not that it matters, but...

If you still remember their names you can see if they are on the national registry (somebody posted a link at the end of the thread).... I'd be curious to know...

[Arkansas Granny]

28. Like I said, many years ago and both men are dead now.

[survivor999]

29. Oh, sorry, did not realize that.

It's really disturbing that some people LOOK OK and then they turn out to be psychos... Damn...

[RiverStone]

19. WRONG!!! Do you realize how many peds commit crimes with children they meet on-line????

Having worked many years with law enforcement and as an advocate for kids, the pedophile fear is valid and real! Cyberstalking has led to many rapes and worse - and I've seen the offenders arrested. It happens!

[VeggieTart]

24. Not necessarily related, but known to them

The trusted priest. A coach. A teacher. A family friend.

Speaking of priests, if you want a horrifying film about an absolutely remorseless icy predator, check out "Deliver us from Evil" about an Irish Catholic priest who violated hundreds of kids in Northern California in the 1970s and 1980s.

And yeah, there's a difference between a guy who preys relentlessly on children, such as pedophile priests, and a 19-year-old guy who has sex with a 15-year-old girl. The former cannot be rehabilitated; the latter is not sick, but stupid.

[H2O Man]

34. I disagree.

I don't know a single case of a kid who has fallen down any stairs and cracked their skull. Not a single one.

[baldguy]

7. If they're still a threat, then they shouldn't be let out of prison.

[slackmaster]

12. YOU CAN'T POST THAT ON DU!!!

It makes WAY too much sense.

[Keseys Ghost]

10. Often, innocent people are convicted of this particular crime

From my perspective as a criminal defense lawyer, molestation is the crime which generates, by far, the most wrongful convictions.

[survivor999]

13. Especially if the accuser is a very young kid

and that is the ONLY evidence available...

[slackmaster]

11. In most urban and suburban areas, it's very hard NOT to live near one

My kid grew up long before the information was available on the Web.

Parents I know do indeed warn their children about known registered offenders. BTW - Of registered sex offenders within a few miles of my house, about 2/3 of them were convicted of some kind of crime in which the victim was under 14.

[Pithlet]

16. If I happened to know that someone who lived near me

was a convicted pedophile, then I would keep my children away from that person, and make sure they knew they were to go nowhere near him/her, and if the person approaches them, they are to run away immediately. I'm not sure that I support laws that require registration as they're practiced now. It seems to cast too broad of a net. I also wonder if they don't foster a false sense of security. I'm certainly not going to assume that no pedophiles live near me just because none show up on the registry, so it's not like I'm going to relax and let them wonder freely, anyway. All it seems to ensure is that property values will plummet wherever these people end up, and people may pull up roots and relocate their families in cases where they might not have been in much danger to begin with. It would be nice to know who the pedophiles are if there are any in my neighborhood, but I don't know if the benefit of that knowledge outweighs the problems such laws cause.

[MrSlayer]

17. No but I'd make sure everyone in the neighborhood knew about it.

I think the problem would take care of itself around here.

[BadgerKid]

18. PSA: National Sex Offender Registry (link)

http://www.familywatchdog.us/

[Ecumenist]

23. Oh Lawd...HELL YEAH!!

well, mostly because I don't want to go to prison for murder should one of them touch a child of mine. Let's just say if a convicted or otherwise, paedophile laid a finger on my child, you'd be reading about it.

It happened to me when I was 5 years old on a daily basis for an entire year.

[survivor999]

27. Sorry to hear...

Hope it did not have permanent effects on you (whatever that means)...

[Ecumenist]

41. Thank you ever so much Survivor99

:hi: Unfortunately, it does leave an unimaginable scar on the soul, which is why I admit my most likely reaction. I would never want any child to undergo what I have in the years since.

[Xithras]

32. Same here.

My sister and I were molested for years by a former babysitter and her husband. Mentally I'm probably one of the lucky ones...I've dealt with it well over the years and moved on with my life.

My wife and I were involved in some couples therapy about 10 years ago when the subject came up again. The therapist was skeptical that I'd really "moved on" and asked me a series of situational questions to guage my emotional response. I was fine right up until he asked "You walk into your home and find a neighbor sexually copulating with your daughter. How do you feel?" I visualized it, and all the anger came flooding back. Pure, unadulterated rage.

I found out later that after a few more sessions the doctor gave my wife a warning. He told her that if she ever discovered someone molesting my kids, she should call the police and not tell me until after they arrive. He was convinced that I still had some ligering instabilities over it, and that I was likely to snap and injure or kill the person.

I thought about it for a while after my wife told me what he'd said, and I made two stunning realizations. 1) He was probably right. 2) I don't really care. If it's inhumane or unliberal for me to say that I would happily end the life of someone molesting my kids, then so be it. The bastards who molested me were never prosecuted or punished for their actions...I wouldn't let that happen again with my own children.

[Ecumenist]

40. AMEN....

The person that molested me was a babysitter as well, my stepfather's,(at the time), nephew. As far as I know, this person has never had to pay the price for what he did and no likely did to other little girls in the years that have passed since,( this happened in 1969).
I know what it's done to me and the legacy it's left. I again repeat that I ABSOLUTELY KNOW WITHOUT ANY RESERVATION that if I found out that my child what touched in a sexual way by man, woman or beast, it would be on all the networks and in the papers for some time to come.

I would gladly sit my happy ass behind bars and admit with a smile what I did and why.
You are a man after my own heart...

[mondo joe]

30. "Yes" but not because I think they never change.

But YES because I'm concerned about all potential threats and this would spike the threat level.

[Alacrat]

33. I would want to hear the particulars about the crime

I voted yes, assuming the pedophile was guilty of truly sexually abusing a child, the same goes for a sexual offender who was guilty of serious, undeniable sexual crimes against an adult.

I know of one person who was falsely accused of fondling a 12 year old girl. The charges were dropped, but he had to move, because half the people in his community believed him to be guilty despite the evidence. He swatted a bee off a girl who was a friend of his daughter, he touched her breast in the process. She went home and told her dad Mr. X touched my breast. Dad went off, went to the guy's house, called the police and had him arrested.

I know of another case where a 19 year old was dating a 16 year old for some time. I forget the specifics, but I believe her father found out, or caught them having sex, and had him prosecuted for statutory rape. They were both high school students. Now he has to register as a sex offender.

I believe if a person is convicted of a predatory/violent sexual crime, they should serve their full sentence, no parole, and be closely watched when they are released. I also believe each case should be taken on it's on merit, I don't believe in mandatory registration in all cases, some do not warrant this, and cause the "offender" undue persecution for the rest of their lives. IMO statutory rape cases shouldn't always go strictly by the age of the offender, and the age of the other party.

[LostinVA]

35. I don't have children, but I feel uneasy about my niece and nephew

doing so....

[JerseygirlCT]

36. The recidivism rate is very high among pedophiles

they are sick, they need help. But in most cases, there's no "cure". Help needs to be constant, and lifelong. They aren't going to be able to tough this out.

But children also need to be protected.

It's a difficult balance. Would I be uncomfortable? Yes, I would. Our current mental health system and criminal system does not provide the kind of care to minimize to the extent possible, the potential for damage.

[seabeyond]

37. i do. we have registered pedophiles in abundance in a mile

radius. yawl should check it out. there are sites to see addresses. we are a block from a really poor neighborhood and there is a heavy concentration of registered pedophiles in that neighborhood. i watch my kids. but then i watched them when i wasn't aware of it. i also have a kinda attitude the odds aren't high, seeing how amarillo hasn't had but one taken child since i have lived here. not high on the list of worries. i am more concerned with the two pit bulls and crank heads at my next door neighbors house. we live in upper middle class neighborhood too, lol lol. it hits us all.

[GreenPartyVoter]

38. Yes, but there are plenty out there we don't know abt

[porphyrian]

39. I don't have kids, but I've always wondered...

...is it worse to live near a pedophile you know about or people you know nothing about?

[SmokingJacket]

42. You mean, in the United States?

There's really nowhere you can go that is "safe" from pedophiles -- even if you manage to live in some kind of sterilized neighborhood, pedophiles have cars. The only solution is knowing where your kids are and teaching them to be careful once they're old enough to be on their own (at which time they're probably of no interest to pedos anyway).

[William Bloode]

43. As long as i knew i'd be alright.

If i know about him/her i could apprise my children of the situation, and keep an eye out myself. Sad fact is there is most likely a pedo close to you anyway that you don't know about. Maybe even someone close to you, as it is very widespread. The dangerous ones are the ones you don't know about.

[flying_monkeys]

44. No.

Because I know where he/she is and I could take appropriate steps, like teaching my kids to avoid his/her house on Halloween and making sure they know to never be alone with Neighbor XXX.


It is the other nieghbors on my street that *could* be pedophiles that I will focus more attention on. The one I know about? Easier to combat....

[Lydia Leftcoast]

45. I don't have children, but if I did, and if there were a convicted pedophile

living nearby, I would warn my children never to go anywhere with that person, no matter what he told them, and never to be in his presence unless in the company of a parent.

If they were young, I would tell them that he was sick and liked to hurt children. If they were older, I'd tell them that he was a pervert.

While I have no use for pedophiles, everybody has to be somewhere. Whatever happened to parents taking responsibility for their children's whereabouts?