Welcome, DU, to the "Murphy's Law Roundup"

[hsher]

Come on, you've thought it. We've all thought it. Those little rules of life no one tells you when you're a kid -- but by the time you're 20 you know them by heart. We call them "Murphy's Law"; the Brits and some Canadians call it "Sod's Law". Weigh in, my friends, and let's share those miserable invisible rules that dictate the crushing human experience on this wretched sphere.

Ladies and gentlemen of DU, we bring you... the DU MURPHY'S LAW ROUNDUP:

"You can go your entire life without ever attracting a traffic ticket, but the day you lend your car to your roommate, cousin, sibling or friend, they will be given one."

OBVERSE LAW: "You can go your entire life without a car accident, but the day your borrow your best friend's or your brother's car, that's the day you have one. The more expensive the car, and the more dearly he needs it, the higher the possibility of an accident; also the greater the damage will be and the possibility the car will be totaled. You of course will not be hurt in the accident: a side condition that ensures you will get no sympathy."

"In DUI accidents, the innocent passengers are always killed. The driver who was drunk always, ALWAYS escapes death despite causing them."

"The moment you think nobody's looking is the moment that someone is. With a videocamera."

"The ones you don't want, want you. The ones you want, can't stand you."

And my personal favorite:

"All men cheat. Until you fall in love with that married man. Then men are suddenly the most monogamous creatures that ever existed on the face of the earth."

"The brighter, handsomer, and sweeter the man, the meaner, crueler, and less attractive will be his girlfriend or wife."

OBVERSE LAW: "The gentler, more beautiful and more wonderful the woman, the nastier, crueler, and uglier will be her boyfriend or husband."

"The more talented the man, the more you will scratch your head wondering what the hell he saw in the woman he married, since she will share none of his interests or attributes. He meanwhile will see nothing in common with you, if you DO share his interests and attributes. The more often mutual friends say 'hey, she and you have a lot in common: why aren't you dating HER?', the less interested he will be in you, and the more devoted to his wife with whom he argues and has nothing in common. Also known as the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert law."

"The better the world likes the show, the greater the likelihood it will be canceled."

"The less the world cares about the show, the mysteriously longer it will stay on the air. Also known as the Tucker Carlson theory."

More? ;)

[The Deacon]

1. Schultz's Corollary To Murphy's Law:

Murphy was an optimist.

[hsher]

2. And yet... (JOKE)

"Murphy was an optimist."

And yet ended up forever being seen the world over as a pessimist! See? Murphy's Law ***IS*** true!

[TechBear_Seattle]

3. There were lots of Murphys

To list just a few...

St. Murphy the Monastic
An Irish abbot of the 6th century known for his fatalistic approach to theology. He is best known for the line, In order that the faith of the faithful might be tested, God did decree on the first day of creation: That anything which could go wrong, will go wrong. Are those Viking ships coming into the harbor?"

Ebrahim Murffiyah
A rabbi in Poland in the late 14th century. In a letter to a friend he wrote: All things are possible with God. And the more likely it is to be the wrong thing, the more likely it will happen to the Jews.

Mure Fu
This sage and mystic of 15th century China was well respected for his ability to apply Taoist principles to the practicalities of daily life. Lao Tze wrote: Look for it, but it can't be seen. Listen for it, but it can't be heard. Grasp for it, but it can't be caught. I would add: Plan for it, but it will go wrong anyway.

Dr. John Murphy
A former research director at the University of California, Berkeley. In the mid 70s, he developed the field of "psycho-situational dynamics," ie the idea that the number of ways a given outcome could be wrong was effectively infinite and thus almost certain. One famous experiment involved tying a slice of buttered bread on the back of a cat, butter side up, and knocking the cat off the table. This was to test the mutually exclusive results of the bread landing on the floor butter side down, and the cat landing on its feet. Consistently, however, the cat would have a heart attack and die mid fall, and land on its back... butter side down. Animal rights activists, upon hearing of the experiments, kicked up such a media storm that UCB was forced to terminate their relationship with Dr. Murphy. From this, he wrote one of his most famous observations about psycho-situational dynamics: Given two mutually exclusive outcomes, at least one synergistically worse outcome which encompasses the first two will immediately become manifest.