A contribution to civil discourse: The Shakespeare Insult Kit

[MazeRat7]

While a timeless net classic, I figured reposting was worthwhile considering recent debate on what to say when you get mad at someone like say hecklers, family members during the holidays, or heaven forbid - even other DU'ers.

So next time you get really pissed, try one of these. More than likely you wont be called a racists, and while those receiving your insult most certainly will still consider you an asshole, at least you will make some points for having a creative vocabulary.

Enjoy,
MZr7


Shakespeare Insult Kit

Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou":

Column 1............Column 2............Column 3

artless.............base-court..........apple-john
bawdy...............bat-fowling.........baggage
beslubbering........beef-witted.........barnacle
bootless............beetle-headed.......bladder
churlish............boil-brained........boar-pig
cockered............clapper-clawed......bugbear
clouted.............clay-brained........bum-bailey
craven..............common-kissing......canker-blossom
currish.............crook-pated.........clack-dish
dankish.............dismal-dreaming.....clotpole
dissembling.........dizzy-eyed..........coxcomb
droning.............doghearted..........codpiece
errant..............dread-bolted........death-token
fawning.............earth-vexing........dewberry
fobbing.............elf-skinned.........flap-dragon
froward.............fat-kidneyed........flax-wench
frothy..............fen-sucked..........flirt-gill
gleeking............flap-mouthed........foot-licker
goatish.............fly-bitten..........fustilarian
gorbellied..........folly-fallen........giglet
impertinent.........fool-born...........gudgeon
infectious..........full-gorged.........haggard
jarring.............guts-griping........harpy
loggerheaded........half-faced..........hedge-pig
lumpish.............hasty-witted........horn-beast
mammering...........hedge-born..........hugger-mugger
mangled.............hell-hated..........joithead
mewling.............idle-headed.........lewdster
paunchy.............ill-breeding........lout
pribbling...........ill-nurtured........maggot-pie
puking..............knotty-pated........malt-worm
puny................milk-livered........mammet
qualling............motley-minded.......measle
rank................onion-eyed..........minnow
reeky...............plume-plucked.......miscreant
roguish.............pottle-deep.........moldwarp
ruttish.............pox-marked..........mumble-news
saucy...............reeling-ripe........nut-hook
spleeny.............rough-hewn..........pigeon-egg
spongy..............rude-growing........pignut
surly...............rump-fed............puttock
tottering...........shard-borne.........pumpion
unmuzzled...........sheep-biting........ratsbane
vain................spur-galled.........scut
venomed.............swag-bellied........skainsmate
villainous..........tardy-gaited........strumpet
warped..............tickle-brained......varlot
wayward.............toad-spotted........vassal
weedy...............unchin-snouted......whey-face
yeasty..............weather-bitten......wagtail

[file83]

1. Thou gleeking beef-witted malt-worm!

Feels good. :thumbsup:

[Mortos]

2. Georgie Bush thou art a...

beslubbering earth-vexing codpiece.

[GreenPartyVoter]

3. LOL Goood stuff. Also a good resource for insults is

http://www.zaputa.com/Blackadderweb/Insults/insults_1.htm

[Minnesota_Lib]

13. "A chat with you and death loses its sting." LOL...funny stuff

[Bluebear]

4. I read three Shakespeares once. nt

[Red Right and BLUE]

5. Thou rank ill-breeding nuthook!

I love this... :rofl:

[longship]

6. Don't spare the alliteration.

Thou beslubbering, beetle-headed bugbear!

Thou gorbellied, guts-griping giglet!

And my favorite...
Thou pribbling, plume-plucked pumpion!

[newscott]

7. Thou frothy fat-kidneyed flax wench!

[Little Wing]

8. I think GD has birthed and nourished its own very capable insult-kit

[Minnesota_Lib]

9. You, sir, are a loggerheaded, tardy-gaited canker-blossom! So there!

:rofl: :rofl: God, I love this!

[MazeRat7]

10. Thou surly asparagus-casting freeper ......

Yes I know two of those words aren't in the kit, but hey - given how much fun they are... why not add a few more "modern terms"... ;)

MZr7

[nolies32fouettes]

11. rofl

[elfin]

12. Thank You

Am going to make a poster out of it as a gift to my Shakespeare teaching sister for her classroom.

[CottonBear]

14. You are a mewling, swag-bellied flap-dragon! Hah! Take that!

:rofl: