Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

On the road (my first journey alone)

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (01/01/06 through 01/22/2007) Donate to DU
 
Mythsaje Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 03:22 AM
Original message
On the road (my first journey alone)
I think I first started hitchhiking when I was fourteen or fifteen, at my father’s prompting. Most of the time it wasn’t worth his time or effort to give me a ride to wherever I wanted to go. So he suggested I either use the ‘ol’ heel-toe express,’ or the ‘mare’s shanks’ or, if I grew tired of walking, stick out my thumb and catch a ride that way.

These days it’s hard to imagine. People rarely hitchhike, and, what’s more, people rarely pick up hitchhikers. I suppose it could be argued that there’s a good reason for this, but I have to wonder…is it any more dangerous than it ever was? Or are the risks simply exaggerated by a sensationalistic media and the power of urban legend?

I was fifteen when I hit the road for real. I was a sophomore in High School, and I was miserable. I had few friends, and I’d recently began feeling more isolated than ever. My best friend in school had simply disappeared one day, and rumor had it that he’d got a hold of some bad pot laced with PCP and had wigged out and had ended up back in the psych ward. Something similar had happened to him before, so perhaps it made sense.

So here it is, just after Halloween in 1981, and I’m standing on a freeway on-ramp in the dark trying to get to Central Oregon. I wanted to go see my stepmom, the one my dad had been with for eight years between the time I was four and the time I was twelve. More than anything I just needed to be away from where I was. My life as I’d known it had fractured and my imagination had alienated the people that had been, up until that point, my closest friends. I wasn’t sure why at the time, but I couldn’t stand being there anymore.

It took me roughly a day and a half to make it to the other side of Mt. Hood. As I was heading down the other side, dreary from lack of sleep and hunger, I was picked up by an officer from the Warm Springs Indian Reservation.

They stuck me in a holding cell and called my Dad, who came and got me a couple days later. He was angry, but, mostly, he was just confused and hurt. I didn’t know how to tell him why I’d done what I had, but it only had a little to do with him. No one understood me, I felt, least of all him.
He took me into Central Oregon and we went looking for people we’d known. A couple of his old friends offered to take me in for a while. They had a small ranch with several different animals, a wood-cutting business, and could use the help, they said. So I stayed there while my dad returned home.

I enrolled in school down there and, for the first time in my life, actually started to fit in. I worked with the father, cutting wood, and helped take care of the animals. At their suggestion, I also began studying the art of cannibis cultivation, since that was their secondary sideline. In fact, as it turned out, they were the largest suppliers of pot that side of the cascades. Among their customers was a prominent pharmacist and the police dispatcher, whose son sold it at the high school.

She was a nice lady and I really liked both her boys, who were a few years younger than I was. Over the time I was there I learned how to work. It was good for me in that respect. But her husband seemed to grow more and more unhinged, and more abusive—not only toward me, but toward his stepsons.
Roughly around the time of my sixteenth birthday, I got in trouble for something or another, and was told to wear a pair of my work-pants—stained and torn from time cutting wood—to school rather than my new school clothes. For the first time in my whole life, I was starting to fit in at school, and I couldn’t bear the humiliation. I wore the pants I was told to wear, but I brought a change of clothes with me. I switched them out before class and as school got out, I returned to my locker to exchange them, only to find the old work pants gone.

My mouth went dry and I knew I was in for it. I went to the office and asked if anyone had come asking about me and discovered that she had been there. It seemed obvious that she’d somehow gotten access to my locker and had discovered I’d defied them.
I got off the bus two stops before my own, turned around, and started walking the other way. By midnight I was walking across the summit of McKenzie Pass. By dawn the next day I’d thumbed a ride south.

It had been she who’d told me how to do up a sign with a destination when hitchhiking, and had made me promise that I’d never use it to run away. And I’d kept that promise. It wasn’t until a couple years later, when I again found myself on the road between California and Washington State, that I constructed a sign and hitchhiked back that way.

One of the worst things these two had done was mocked my interest in reading and writing science fiction. The guy told me repeatedly that it was a waste of time and that I’d be best off abandoning it to pursue more attainable goals.

Now, twenty-five years later, I look back and I laugh. Last I heard he’d been busted and gone to prison. Me? I’m an author with several novels under my belt, and more coming out next year.
What I have to say to him? Well, in a three simple words… “Fuck you, Bruce.”
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 03:47 AM
Response to Original message
1. Kicking from a fellow traveler and author (nt)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 03:55 AM
Response to Original message
2. Now that I have a few moments a proper reply
Your story reminds me of some friends in Ridgecrest, California. Jen was her name, and her boyfriend's name escapes me right now.

His goal was to be a writer, he was in cerro coso college (and damn, that just brought back a flood of memories I just cannot deal with right now) as was my X girlfriend.

We spent hours talking about his love of reading and writing (we both had a thing for horror and some sci-fi).

I am glad you found your place, and screw all those people who keep dreams down. Been facing that for years with my dad (long story there too).

I always enjoy your writings here, even when we are not on the same page.

Now with a few more drinks I might be writing tonight, about that time so long ago and what it means now :(
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Mythsaje Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 04:04 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. Recently I've been posting little clips of recollection
and people seem to enjoy them, so I figured I'd continue the trend. My dad's been bothering me for a while to write an autobiography...this latest might well end up being the beginning, should I ever do so. I'd flesh it out a bit, with some deeper flashbacks, but that would be the start, I think.

It's hard to pursue your dreams. Too many people tell you that you're wasting your time, or that you'll never amount to anything. I've had these stories living me as long as I can remember, and now I'm sharing them with everyone. It's what I've always wanted to do. More than anything.

But talent has to be wedded with experience...they say "write what you know." Well, when you're writing sci-fi and fantasy, (or an odd combination of the two) you're not really writing what you know, are you? You're writing something else. But if you've had enough experience, and seen enough places, you can sprinkle hints of real life into it and give it an essence of realism you couldn't without it.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 04:15 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. I have started an autobiography a few times
so much has happened in my life.

5 kids, in love with two women at once, cross country trips, death, life, depression and suicide attempt, and so much more. But then, is just one more story of so many here on this planet.

I am 41 and have been there and back again (to steal a phrase). Now I face starting over all again in life, moving back to California, starting a new life, and working on my dreams. Just not always sure what they are. Though I thought I did one summer night in Ridgecrest.

Am I too old for such dreams now, too responsible for the lives of others (wife and daughter)? Or can I do it all?

My dreams go deep, and into a past where such dreams no longer have a place, as time has marched on.

So I face new dreams, while the ghosts of past ones haunt me.

And then there is always time, my greatest foe. Shorter now by eleven years. Shorter each day. And so I wonder where I am at with it all, and where I want it all to be.

Happy, scared, hoping. Wanting one last miracle to fix things, and wanting to fuel new dreams I have yet to fully define relating to myself, as so many of my dreams are defined by what I want for my wife and daughter.

Dreams are sometimes the illusion of personal desire created to make the dreams of others come true, which is really the dream we hold. The power to give to others what we ourselves want, and in so giving, we accomplish all we ever wanted to do.

Not sure that makes sense to some :) but to me it does.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Mythsaje Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 04:25 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. You're only a year older than I am...
and when I look, I find the road stretches out in front of me a lot farther than I expected it to.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 04:38 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. It has been a long hurtful road
So many lost, hearts broken, dreams shattered.

Not sure how well I am picking up the pieces, as the past is a part of my heart.

I faced two paths, and took one. And it pains me dearly at times.

You cannot fix some things that are broken, and when part of your dreams is to fix that which is broken, you realize that for that to happen you must break what is now good.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Mythsaje Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 04:43 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. I know what you mean...
I'm trying to rebuild a relationship with my oldest son, shattered several years ago by his mother and her vindictive ex-husband, and forge one with my youngest. The time they were not in my life was probably the most painful experience I ever faced. And even now I'm caught between a rock and a hard place half the time. My wife isn't the maternal type. I doubt they'll ever form a bond with her and that isn't all that easy to face either.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 05:00 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. With me:
I left my X wife when I was about 30. Three kids here in Ohio. I went to CA to be with a 19 yr old woman.

The love of my life. Some damn great memories. But her parents were controlling. And it came to a head finally, and I needed to be back here in Ohio to see my little boys.

I met a wonderful red head (always felt that was destined - long story) and we moved back here to see my kids. X ran off with them, her and new hubby adopted them. And my X girlfriend whom I wanted to marry me let me know she was pregnant and wanted me to marry her.

Fast forward to now. Great wife and daughter. A daughter out west who does not know who I am. One woman I am compatible with out there, and another one here. My X wife has died, and I found my kids. Oldest son is living with me, but is so messed up I have kicked him, his GF, and my granddaughter out (they leave next week).

So now I am looking to move back to CA, close to a woman I once thought I might be back with, close to a lot of dreams I let go, and totally in love with my wife and daughter.

My other two sons may never know me, or care to.

In love with two women, missing my kids, finding one of them and the others don't want to know me. Mom dying. Two close friends dying, and seven others I knew my whole life dying in last 2 years. Going from crap jobs to manager of a big data center - and giving it all up now to go back to the desert, so ill wife can be near family and I can pick up my dreams again. Even though I am not sure what they are fully.

I want all the dreams I had, and the new ones I made. But that is impossible. I want my past back, and I want my future to be one where I can give those I deeply love all they need.

You don't just stop loving someone, or you never really did. So I am torn between what was and could again maybe be, and what I have and want now - and both are in my heart.

No wonder I drink ;)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Mythsaje Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 05:05 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. Love can seriously fuck you up...
Believe me, I know.

I thought my ex, the mother of my kids, was the love of my life. Fated. You know.

Now I doubt there's any such thing. At least I'm married now to someone I love very much.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 05:17 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. I did too at first
Then realized I had made a mistake.

Then I found the woman of my dreams, but her parents were control freaks. By the time she broke out of that I was moving on, but still loving her.

I met AutumnMist and fell in love with her for different reasons, on a different level.

Hence some of my poems in my signature.

Dreaming now of one, while loving and living with another. Happy, yet sad.

I remember my old love, Mimi, and how we joked our love was like a romance novel, and that someday we would be back together again, and another part of me never wanting to let go of what I have.

One might wonder how you can love two people, yet I have loved all 5 of my kids the same - I don't see how that is different really from loving two people.

One time in this world. One chance. Here then gone. Do you live for yourself, or for others?

Many a novels in my head I have spun over this. And each one has a different ending.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Mythsaje Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 05:47 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. I believe you can love two people...
though it's not something I'd like to deal with, myself.

One can be hard enough at times.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 04:42 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. Maybe the old saying fits here
Better to have loved and to lost then to have never loved at all.

I am in love with a dream I let go, and sometimes you can't go back. And even if you could change it now, would you?

Trapped between two dreams, two worlds, and having a choice is not all it is cracked up to be :(
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Mythsaje Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 04:44 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. Having to make an important choice is a lot like walking the edge of a sword...n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Mnemosyne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 10:39 AM
Response to Original message
14. Proud to be the 5th knr. I was also a
hitchhiker from the age of 15 in 1973. Strange, strange times.

So glad you survived and blossomed. :hug:

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tblue37 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 11:14 AM
Response to Original message
15. I am all about myths and SF, and horror, too, though to a lesser degree.
When next summer rolls around I won't be teaching my 4 per term college classes, though I will still be writing for a PR firm and still editing books, theses and dissertations; tutoring; and writing more material for my own ten websites--for me, a "vacation" is when I am down to just three jobs!

But when I am down to just three jobs, I will get started on your first series of books. They look like my kid of SF-fantasy-horror-mythic fiction. I like to start a new series like that in the summer, when I have time to wallow.

Needless to say, if I enjoy them, I will start on the next series, as well.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Beam Me Up Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 11:26 AM
Response to Original message
16. Never hitch-hiked myself but I appreciate a good story.
Thanks for the telling -- I resonate with some of it from my own life and it lets me know that if I wanted to tell any of my stories, there might be an audience here.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tavalon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 11:27 AM
Response to Original message
17. Wow, someone who actually rivaled my insane and yet colorful
childhood. Other people who've been through similar things understand when I call my youth "my Vietnam". No disrespect to those tortured over there but it sdidn't stop the torture that happens over here and the always alert systen that ends up taking us down dark roads of unending hell or dark roads of learning and healing.

Good on ya, compadre.

PS I'd love to be acquainted with your books.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
onethatcares Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 05:36 PM
Response to Original message
18. I used my thumb too, beginning at age 11
I never had a bad experience. At the time, I thought I was running away from home, after 50 years, I wonder if I just had roaming bones and an inquisitive mind. I met many an interesting person in Ohio, Pensylvania, Texas, Louisiana, Georgia, Colorado, Kansas, and too many other places to recall at this time.

I had traveling companions, I had Thanksgiving dinner at a sheriffs house, I ate the worst tomato/bean soup ever, I lived in New Orleans for two weeks with a black woman in the quarter, I had chicanos take care of me while suffering from pneumonia in San Antonio, the same people taught me how to really paint houses.

I always thought it was a bad gene or something that made me leave each year. Now, I realize it was just me being me.

Thanx for the return trip. If there's an Arti or Jeff from Conneticut that posts on this board, I have to say. After all this time I still remember you guys. Do you remember sleeping on the hillside in South Carolina, or the girl in the barracuda in Houston Texas? Remember the guys that wore their guns on the hip at the convenience store in Alabama, or the guy that almost killed us on the railroad tracks by trying to beat that train, or signing up to pick peaches?

One day, I'm gonna tell my grandson about my adventures, my wife thinks I should keep them a secret from the rest of the family, She has no clue or desire to know what molded me to be the man I am today.

Thanx again for bringing back some fond memories.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Joe Chi Minh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-25-06 06:38 PM
Response to Original message
19. Great to read! Reminds me a bit of the experience of Garrison Keillor,
when he stayed with a couple who were friends of his father, while he was waiting to go to university. A kind of envy. I can't do it, so why should you be able to.

It's a pusillanimous mentality that is probably behind a good percentage of the evil in the world. I read today about a former top English footballer, decrying the "obscene" wages (as these types of often call them) of soccer players for the top professional teams. He's not the first envious ex-footballer I've heard on that theme, but when he retired this character had become a club manager, then manager of the Irish national team.

Truth to tell - nothing to do with it - but there's a fund of comical stories about him. One concerned the system whereby players in national football teams can play for a country other than their native country, provided a grandparent was born in said other country.

Well, in Scotland and probably Ireland, they call thei players who play just for an English team, "Anglos".

This man was in the Irish dressing room during training one day and asked some of the Anglos playing for Ireland, he was chatting with in the dressing room, "Where are the Irish lads?" Another time, fly fishing, he cast his line and snagged it on the branches of a tree on the other bank tree. Cursing furiously he tugged and tugged and the line and hook were finally freed, and immediately flew back and got caught in the branches of a tree behind him! I don't know how long this went on for.

Glad you and straight story really made good.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Robbien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-26-06 09:26 AM
Response to Original message
20. Opening up these threads
is a real delight. Not only does one get a good story to enjoy, reading the ensuing conversation in the thread is usually also a treat.

Thanks for sharing Mythsaje.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Thu Apr 25th 2024, 11:02 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (01/01/06 through 01/22/2007) Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC