Parents get mass truancy warning

[proud2BlibKansan]

Parents get mass truancy warning
By JANNINE TEMPLEMAN

Tamika Veal walked out of the Liacouras Center last night frustrated.

"Single parents are working and cannot be behind their children all of the time," the South Philly native said. "I can drop my son off at the door, but that doesn't mean he's going to stay at school."

Veal was among 6,000 parents and students summoned to the Temple University arena by Mayor Street and the school district because the children had eight or more unexcused absences during the 2005-06 school year.

All were warned to be there or be prosecuted.

"I got a letter in the mail saying I had to come to the meeting or go to court," said a parent from West Philly-based Anna H. Shaw Middle School, who declined to give her name.

http://www.philly.com/mld/dailynews/news/local/16137902.htm

[bluestateguy]

1. I don't mean to sound hard core here

But if you can't uphold the responsibilities of parenthood, then you should not have kids.

[ret5hd]

3. Maybe a good raise in the minimum wage will help...

so those SINGLE MOTHERS don't have to --WORK 2 JOBS!!!-- to keep their sons and daughters FED so then maybe they can spend a little time with them helping with homework, playing ball, all the things that caring parents do with their kids when they have time to do something other than COOK, CLEAN, and SLEEP!

[proud2BlibKansan]

7. yes when the city has to threaten to prosecute you

to get you to make your kids go to school, I think we can say you gots a problem, Mom.

I called a parent of a 2nd grader the other day to tell him his son was not doing homework or most of his work in class. The dad said that when he tells him to do his homework, the kid refuses and cries. He asked me if he cries at school too.

I told him this child is old enough not to cry when he doesn't get his way. No he doesn't cry at school and he shouldn't be doing it at home either. And I expected to see that homework come back tomorrow.

Next day, the kid was absent. The secretary called. Dad told her he cried and cried and didn't want to go to school so Dad let him stay home.

This kid will be a handful when he is a teenager. He already has Dad wrapped around his finger.

[MrCoffee]

10. oy. Dad let him stay home.

i love it when you have to remind people "you're the parent! act like it!"

[proud2BlibKansan]

13. My mother in law had the best saying

THERE'S A REASON GOD MADE MOMMIES AND DADDIES BIGGER THAN THEIR CHILDREN.

I probably should have told that to this dad.

[lumberjack_jeff]

44. Is there more to the story?

You mentioned in another context that you are a special ed teacher.

As a parent of a 2nd grader with autism, I've learned that I often must pick my battles. By the time evening rolls around he's often exhausted by the social expectations required in school. At those times, I can't always demand compliance. It is not always within his power to comply.

Occasionally, and today was one of those days, something happens which precludes learning at school. On those days, he (and the rest of his class) is better off if he does his work at home.

That said, we're lucky that we can afford to have a stay-at-home parent.

[proud2BlibKansan]

49. Not with this particular kid

I don't teach kids with autism. My district has a special program for them. But honestly of all the kids with disabilities I have worked with, staying home has never been an alternative I would have recommended. I don't even like to see them get suspended. They WANT to go home, so sending them home for misbehaving just reinforces the misbehavior.

This particular kid is in my reading group; he is not one of my special ed students.

I understand what you are saying about your son. I am not an expert on autism. But I still think he is probably better off at school. I have had some kids who were put on half day programs and that is usually an effective intervention.

You also need to realize that attendance is part of NCLB now. That component kicked in last year. This will be especially problematic for kids with medical needs who do need to miss more school than other kids.

NCLB is especially horrible for special needs kids. Before your son graduates from high school, he will be expected to work at the same level as his peers, regardless of his handicapping condition. I hope every special ed parent is screaming from the rooftops about the unfairness of this legislation. We absolutely MUST have it revoked.

[ThomCat]

19. That is Rediculous and Offensive.

My parents were married when my brother and I were born, but became a single mom when our dad walked out. So how exactly do you propose that she not be allowed to have kids? Would you have the state come in and confiscate the kids from single moms?

Would you do that to widows too?

And if moms like mine, or widows, are allowed to keep their kids then why can't any other woman have kids while she's single?

Many, many single moms are great parents. And man two parent families are messed up.

[valerief]

45. Yeah, those men that promise to support their kids and just leave

the mother and children high and dry should be taken to task. Until then, what? Do the women and kids starve? Work is not an option. It's a necessity. Men cannot be trusted. Unless women have their own money, they can't afford to have kids. Is that what you're saying? Because if that's the case, the country's birth rate would plummet to unbelievable depths and where would the GOP get their cannon fodder?

[Ariana Celeste]

62. You know what dude?

My mom was pregnant with me when my dad died in a fucking car accident. Are you saying my mom should have just gotten rid of me, because she was forced to be single mother through tragedy?

[bluestateguy]

63. No, that's not what I said

And if you read what I wrote you will see that what I said is every bit as applicable to single parents as it is to two parent households.

Geesh.

[in_cog_ni_to]

2. This is a tough one. How can a single parent stop working to stay with her kids

at school all day? The kids need to understand that they MUST stay in school and mom MUST work. If they don't stay in school, they don't get food to eat and clothes to wear because mom lost her job because she had to babysit them everyday. What does the school expect the parent to do? What a dilemma.:(

[proud2BlibKansan]

8. I know plenty of single parents

who have no trouble making their kids come to school. Just sayin . . .

[in_cog_ni_to]

31. I know, so do I, but what do you do about the kids who won't stay in school?

There ARE kids who just do what they want to do....no matter what the parent says or does. Sometimes it's not the parent's fault.

[Codeblue]

46. Yeah no kiddin

The only way to make sure your kids actually stay in school when you drop them off there would be to walk around with them all day at school. Nothing you do at home is necessarily going to make them go to class.

[proud2BlibKansan]

48. My principal is known to do just that

She will ask a parent to come to school and spend the day. It sure is a smarter idea than suspending a kid for misbehaving.

[Codeblue]

61. No kiddin

Since the point is that the kid doesn't want to go to school, how is suspension going to punish the kid? You're giving the kid what he wants.

In any case though, as smart an idea as that is, it's kind of difficult for a working parent to take the day off to wander around the school.

[proud2BlibKansan]

64. And the parent will pressure the kid to behave

so the parent doesn't have to come to school. :)

It's actually a very effective threat.

[proud2BlibKansan]

47. Well there are professionals called counselors and psychologists

who work with kids who won't mind Mom.

[OnionPatch]

34. Me too.

Actually, my mom was a single mother and my sister and I cut out of school regularly. She was frustrated to no end. She had to work every day to keep a roof over our heads, she could not sit and guard the door of the school all day. She told the principal and he said, "Even if you could, there is more than one door in this school." She tried very, very hard to keep us in school. It was the single biggest frustration of her life, I think. I wouldn't judge these parents too harshly.

(BTW, We have since apologized profusely to our poor mother for being such rotton brats. :()

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

26. The majority of truant students come from two parent homes.

While it's certainly harder for single parents, I think they're taking an unfair share of the blame here.

[cynatnite]

4. Are they even bothering to punish the students?

At my daughter's school those kids with too many tardies get in-school suspension. They don't suspend kids out of school unless it's for a good reason such as violence or drugs. Tardy kids have to sit in one classroom all day long and do homework. If there is none, the teacher gives them work to do anyway.

This school has a very low tardy rate because they know how to deal with it and it's NOT by threatening the parents.

[MrCoffee]

6. they're not tardy, they're absent.

ISS wouldn't work if the kid will just skip school. There need to be consequences for truancy, maybe a wake-up call to the parents will get the kids in line.

[cynatnite]

17. Parents can only do so much, though...

Some teens are notorious for doing what they want to do despite a parent's best effort. My oldest one we couldn't keep in school no matter what. She would go to first hour, skip the rest and show up just in time to get on the bus. Hubby was on the road and I worked.

Other than handcuffing a kid to his or her desk, I'm not sure what more some of these folks can do. But there are parents who do need to be more involved with their kids. I can see both sides.

Thanks for the clarification. :hi:

[OzarkDem]

55. Making a lot of assumptions

First, parents may not know their kids aren't attending school until they get a notice from school

Second, how can you assume the parents haven't talked to the kids already? It seems the school might want to work more with parents to get the kids interested in school. A parent can only do so much.

[proud2BlibKansan]

66. If the parent isn't willing to do whatever it takes, then who will be?

Sheesh. The kid belongs to the parent, not the school. Parents raise kids, schools educate them. If more parents would stop expecting the schools to raise their kids, maybe we would be able to make more progress educating them.

If Mom doesn't care and just gives up, what kind of a message does that send?

[cynatnite]

85. My oldest daughter wouldn't stay in school no matter what we did...

Hubby was out on the road and I worked full time. We weren't making a lot of money so it wasn't like one of us could be there every single day making sure she attended every single class. It would have been nice, but given how her attitude was at that time I'm not sure how much good it would have done.

We did everything short of handcuffing her to the desk. She skipped a lot of classes and wound up not graduating. She hated school with a passion and we wound up just taking her out all together. We did manage to pressure her hard enough to get her GED.

There were a lot of other problems she was having at the time that contributed, but even she recognizes that she did make it harder on herself now that she's older.

I think when a parent does everything they can do, more help should be made available to these kids. Maybe more tough love by not just the parents, but the schools as well would go a long way in helping these kids get their education. I don't think ALL the blame should be put on the parents. Some do the best they can.

[proud2BlibKansan]

86. Counseling can work wonders

Yes, some parents do everything they can. But too many give up. Sounds like you tried your best. How is she doing now?

[cynatnite]

89. We did the counseling, too...

It helped a little.

She's doing pretty good. She works at Walmart...only job around here these days and is working hard at raising three kids, too. The girl is facing more challenges than I ever did at her age. Her little boy is autistic and the baby had cleft palate surgery a few months ago. We've now got this mature responsible woman who manages to juggle a hell of a lot on her own. She's hoping for college when the kids get older and she has more money saved.

[proud2BlibKansan]

92. I wish her well

One of my own had to learn the hard way too. I know how that goes. He is 28 now and seems to be settling down but I am still holding my breath.

[cynatnite]

93. LOL

Sometimes I tell my daughter, 'you're not going to be stupid again, are you?'. She just rolls her eyes at me. She's 23, still young, but she is determined to do the right thing now since she screwed up so much before. I don't care much for her boyfriend, but hey, can't have everything.

[proud2BlibKansan]

9. How can they punish them if they are not there?

[cynatnite]

18. I misunderstood the OP

My apologies :)

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

5. So why don't the students want to come to class?

Maybe they should look into that.

[proud2BlibKansan]

11. Because skipping school and hanging on the street is more fun

and Mom lets them get away with it.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

12. Occasionally it is.

Not chronically. And is putting added pressure on the parents going to solve the problem?

[proud2BlibKansan]

14. Got any better ideas?

Or would you rather see groups of kids hanging on the streets all day?

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

16. Sure. I've got better ideas.

Drop NCLB. Get rid of standardized tests. Pay teachers what they deserve. Fund the schools properly. Bring back music, art, P.E., after school activities. Fight bullying, not just bullying by students, but by teachers and administrators, this being a good example.

Try that.

[ThomCat]

20. Wow.

I often cringe when I read your posts. But I agree with you 100% on this. We have common ground.

:wow:

[proud2BlibKansan]

21. Schools can't choose to drop NCLB

And part of the accountability standards is attendance. So we will probably just see more of this kind of thing.

We also have no control over most of the other items you mentioned. We can work to prevent bullying, but we can't demand funding increases or changes in curriculum. After school activities are very expensive.

Most of those concerns need to be addressed in the state capitols and in DC.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

22. Well, then.

If they're not going to drop it, maybe the teachers should be prosecuted for not making their students attend class.

:eyes:

[proud2BlibKansan]

25. How do you suggest we make them come?

Handcuffs? Tasers?

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

27. Actually...

that sort of thing is probably part of the reason they're not coming.

[Megahurtz]

37. Sure.

When the schools are already run like jails who wants to go?

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

38. This is part of my point.

Pretty much all students like to play hooky from time to time. That's normal, healthy even. If it's chronic absensce then there's something wrong, for some reason the child is trying to avoid school. It's not just "lazy welfare moms" as some people are wont to believe.

[MrCoffee]

39. These kids are chronically truant.

The article says these are kids with eight or more unexcused absences in the 2005-2006 school year. Correct me if i'm wrong, but aren't we currently in the 2005-2006 school year? So these kids have had at least eight unexcused absences since, what, August?

They want to avoid school because it's no fun. People there make them do stuff. Doing stuff sucks.

[proud2BlibKansan]

52. This is the 2006-2007 year

I gathered from the article that these kids were chronically absent LAST year.

[Megahurtz]

41. And just as you said

they should also try to make school more interesting for the kids.
When I went to High School we had P.E., Track and different Sports to choose from,
Music Classes, Art Classes. There were a lot of choices. Hey! We even had Drivers Ed.!

Now they have none of that and Cops walking around campus.
Looks pretty grim to me. I wouldn't want to be there either!

[MrCoffee]

42. do you really think it's the individual school's choice to cut those programs?

i know a few principals, and they unanimously lament the end of those programs. don't blame the school for the state funding cuts.

[Megahurtz]

43. Maybe not,

but the Jail-like atmoshphere isn't helping anything. That seems to be part of the problem.

[Igel]

80. When I was in school we had all those things.

And a fair number of kids that were chronically truant.

The question is: Is there an increase in the truancy rate that can (and probably "should") be accounted for by the kind of curriculum changes you describe?

I'm unconvinced there is, but it's an assertion that could be--and would need to be--substantiated.

[proud2BlibKansan]

91. I don't think we can ever know for sure why they are truant

It might be due to curriculum but I suspect it is more likely due to other things. Like Mom doesn't make them go to school. Or they have more fun on the streets.

I do think that extra curricular activities matter. My dad was a coach and he often said a lot of kids only come to school because they have practice at 3:00.

[Igel]

95. I agree. We can't.

There are too many possible reasons for any generalization.

I suspect some members of the track and football teams were in high school just for the sport, and the extra-curricular "sport" their being athletes attracted.

[MrCoffee]

28. so they should leave class to drive around and round up the truant ones?

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

29. It's not like they've got anything better to do.

:P

[proud2BlibKansan]

56. You just lost me

I can see by this comment that you have no intention of having a reasonable conversation here. :crazy:

[Megahurtz]

33. I Agree Totally!

Could not have said it better myself.

[in_cog_ni_to]

53. Spot on.

:thumbsup:

[Castilleja]

70. Oh, amen to that!

:thumbsup:

[MadHound]

73. Good ideas you've got there, funny, they're the same ones that the overwhelming majority

Of teachers have. So, now, let's put them into action. NCLB is up for renewal in '07. Start any campaigns to prevent this renewal from happening? When's the last time you worked on a bond issue for the school district? When's the last time you wrote your state congressman about education funding issues, or better yet, when's the last time you marched at your state capital in support of increased education funding? All of these issues take t he concerted work of the public. Pay raises, school improvements, funding for expanded curriculum are monetary issues decided either directly or indirectly by the voting public. Thus, if you want to see these issues addressed, you have to get involved. Schools and educators don't form the majority of the voting public, therefore they require help from concerned people such as yourself.

[proud2BlibKansan]

79. Right on!

Public schools are only as good as the community they serve. And the community only thrives when the public schools function well.

[MadHound]

84. I've always thought it was ridiculous to put the monetary issues,

Either directly or indirectly into the hands of the voting public. Time and again, the public refuses to provide adequate funding, thus leading to increased burdens on the school district, teachers and students. Yet as the education system starts to crumble from all of the cumulative weight brought about by substandard funding, and beneign involvement, everybody and their brother rushes to blame the teachers, the administration, the school district. Hellloo! You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's year, yet that is exactly what is expected of the entire education community. Meanwhile, due to the nature of modern day society, schools are being forced to address ever more needs, body and soul.

[proud2BlibKansan]

88. We are expected to solve social problems

that the entire community should be working on together. Schools are only one part of the village.

[MrCoffee]

15. it might wake the parent up.

i wonder how many of them had no clue that little Johnny was ditching school?

[proud2BlibKansan]

23. That is the school district's fault

In the district where my kids went to school, anytime they were absent, I got a phone call at work from the school. But not all districts do this. The one where I teach doesn't. So our parents really don't know that their kids aren't in school. We call parents at my school but it is not a district policy and by the time our kids get to high school, they know they can skip school and Mom will never know.

[MrCoffee]

24. that was the one complaint in the article i could empathize with...

if this was the first warning the parents got about that many truancies, then the school district isn't doing it's job.

[Megahurtz]

30. I think it's Bullshit to prosecute parents for this.

The schools get upset only because they don't get their funding for the kids who don't attend regularly. So I say put the kids in Independant Study as an alternative,
so then those schools will get their funding for how much school work is done.

That's what I would do.
It's hard enough to be a single Mom without being punitively threatened by some Gung-Ho Yahoos. Who needs it!

[MrCoffee]

32. so they're gonna show up for IS all of a sudden?

if they're not going to the regular school day, why are they going to show up for punishment day?

[Megahurtz]

35. Well, if they don't show up for that

the D.A. will go after the parent(s).
It would be wise for the parent(s) to have a talk with their kids to encourage them to cooperate.
I think they have this same truancy protocol in all the States.

But if it became a real problem I would put my kid in Independant Study.
Better than getting caught up in their Meat-Grinder!

[MrCoffee]

36. i think that you and the school board agree...

the whole point of the letter/meeting seems to be to get the parents involved in getting the kids back in school.

[proud2BlibKansan]

54. First you say it's bullshit to prosecute the parents

but then you say let the D.A. go after them? Wouldn't he be prosecuting them? Or did you have something else in mind?

[OzarkDem]

51. I agree

The parents aren't always at fault. It doesn't matter how good you are as a parent, if your kid's school is being run poorly and teachers and administrators have bad attitudes, there isn't much you can do. If you have the time and resources, you can home school them, but for most parents thats not an option.

Our public school system is going downhill fast.

[proud2BlibKansan]

57. Got any suggestions for fixing it?

Or do you just like complaining about it?

Seriously, I hope you have contacted your state legislature and expressed your concerns. If your local school district is going downhill, I hope you have contacted it to see if you can help fix it. And don't forget to write your federal reps and ask for the repeal of NCLB.

[bleedingheart]

75. the mother and the father should be looking out for these children

they brought them into the world and they should do what is necessary to help those kids become productive adults.

As for independent study? if the kid doesn't go to school, do you think the kid will do independent study? I don't think so..
and who will monitor this study? Who will take care of this kid and make sure he/she is given the chance to succeed? If the parent has no responsibility...who does it?

[The2ndWheel]

40. What a feeling that must be

To be able to tell 6,000 people what to do, with threats to back it up, wow.

The massive power of the state. What a drug.

""As judges, we are capable of taking your freedom, possessions, property... but not your education," he nearly shouted. "Parents and children, the decision belongs to you to go to school. Tomorrow, the decision belongs to us."

Has to be better than sex.

"Police Commissioner Sylvester Johnson added: "If you can't control your child, we can have someone come talk to your child or help get them into a productive environment.""

Just a chat. A friendly get-together.

[Mythsaje]

59. Something tells me that you and I

get the same creepy feeling from this.

[OzarkDem]

50. Schools are becoming dysfunctional

Teachers are resentful because of strict guidelines on curriculum and "No Child Left Behind" as well as budget cuts. Their resentment is often taken out on the students, particularly those who don't "fit in". Kids don't get much encouragement. Its hard to find any teacher these days who likes their job (pardon me, but as a parent, I have no sympathy - go find a new career, don't take it out on my kid).

There's little physical education or breaks to allow kids to work off energy or socialize. My son's schedule is so tight he doesn't even have time to eat lunch this year. Same with extracurricular activities and elective classes - much of it is being cut. Schools have become very unpleasant and regimented and if a student doesn't fit the mold, they catch hell for it.

I've raised two children, the last one finishing high school now and I've never seen such bad attitudes, apathy, indifference and just plain resentment in faculty and administration as exists today in our school district. Its becoming a poisonous environment for education, not anything like public education when I grew up. I have great sympathy for any parents whose kids are now entering school.

[proud2BlibKansan]

60. I don't take any of my frustrations out on your kid or any other kid

I choose to try to solve problems instead of just complaining.

Let me tell you, if my kid really had no time for lunch, I would be calling that school principal and then my school board. And I wouldn't stop calling until he got a lunch break. FYI, that is against state regs in my state and I would imagine where you live as well. We can't keep kids from eating lunch.

[bleedingheart]

77. well my kids go to a great public school and the teachers are great

they have web sites to post homework so parents can monitor...they have personal email address and even phone numbers with private extensions.

I don't see the attitude you are seeing....

[Mythsaje]

58. My stepson

My first wife's kid, used to ditch all the time. He'd jump the fence and leave school and nothing, and I mean NOTHING could make him stay. We would literally have had to handcuff him to a desk and make him drag it around the school with him all day. He hated school with a passion.

Eventually we just sent him to live with my dad, who taught him a trade. We didn't have a choice. If we somehow managed to make him stay at school, which was damn hard, he'd deliberately do something to get himself suspended.

I tell you, I love these fascist attitudes out there. Compliance at the point of a gun. That's the American Way.

Sheesh.

[proud2BlibKansan]

67. And when he grows up and has a job he hates, will he be able to just

skip going to work? Good heavens, who is in charge here - the kid or the parents??

[Mythsaje]

69. Shows what you know

He was damned determined to be in charge of himself from the time I met him (he was 12 at the time). What the fuck was I supposed to do, beat the shit out of him? Follow him around all day with a cattle prod? His mother was pretty goddam useless. All she could do was scream at him. At least I gave him some options. The road he was heading on, he would have ended up in prison or dead.

Now he's all grown up. He's been a jeweler and diamond courier in S. Africa, traveled all around the world under his own power (didn't even have to join the military to do it), and now he's back doing the trade my dad taught him here in the states.

He's sure as hell got MY respect.

[bleedingheart]

71. he sounds more like the exception than the norm...

and that is great for him.

My cousin's eldest son can't find work without a high school diploma and with very poor literacy skills, he is almost completely unemployable.

[Mythsaje]

81. I know what you mean...

With him we really had very few options. He'd deliberately get himself suspended if they managed to keep him on campus.

Some kids are just impossible.

[bleedingheart]

82. the key person is the parent or guardian, in your son's case

you all found a way to help the young man and were concerned about him...and that makes all the difference which is great.

My cousin's kids didn't have that, all the people were critical but no one picked up the slack when the mother didn't care.

[proud2BlibKansan]

72. I know plenty

I know that kids can be helped. Counseling worked wonders for my own and for many many of my students.

I just refuse to give up on them. Letting them do whatever they want is giving up on them. They are KIDS. They absolutely do need discipline and thrive on structure and rules, even if they complain. They depend on adults to take care of them. Allowing them to do what they want is really not what they want.

One interesting thing about school is the strictest teachers are almost always the most popular as well. Kids want order and discipline. I can't count the number of kids who have come back to visit me years later to thank me for being so strict and demanding their best every day. One of them came by a few weeks ago to show me her baby. She had waited to get married to have kids and was excited to share that with me. She knew I would be pleased.

I am glad the kid turned out okay. Really. But I am also sorry his childhood was so painful. I also am not blaming you. It sounds like you were an island of sanity in his world. You and your dad deserve kudos for helping this kid. That is why he turned out okay you know. :)

[Mythsaje]

83. Strict teachers are only popular

with the conformists.

They certainly didn't do anything for ME except make my life even more difficult than it already was. My favorite teachers were the ones that cultivated my talent and let me find my own way of doing things.

[proud2BlibKansan]

87. Most kids are conformists

I am not. That's why I teach special ed:) And yes, I am very strict. But I also let them know I really care about them.

[Mythsaje]

90. Yeah, most kids ARE conformists...

And I think the schools perpetuate it to our ultimate detriment.

[bleedingheart]

65. Let me tell you about bad parenting...

My cousin is going to be a grandmother at the ripe old age of 39.

Her eldest child is functionally illiterate. Why? Not the public school's fault...hell the public school he was in tried to get him into programs but his mother was concerned he would be stigmatized, so he ended up barely making it and bided his time until he turned 18 and then he just dropped out.

Her middle son, a meth addict by 16, lost all his teeth due to meth, went to a halfway house and is now going to be a father to a baby he won't be able to support.

Her youngest is 12 and he is steering along the same course.

When the school bitched at her and fined her for truancy...she was mad that they were bugging her.

If only she had been smart enough to use birth control, but now there are three young men who have a much harder life because their mother though more about herself than those boys.

My mother was a single parent and she ruled our household like Stalin. All three of us are college grads and now we take care of mama.

[proud2BlibKansan]

68. How sad

I had a meeting with a family just last week. The kid is bi-polar and they don't want to put him on meds. He is violent and has been kicked out of several schools. He cusses like a sailor. He is this close to being permanently expelled from the school district, which means he wouldn't be able to attend any public school in the state. But the parents refuse to medicate his illness. They also say they can't afford counseling. He physically attacks his mother and runs away from home. But the parents don't want him medicated. We told them we could help find a counselor who would come to school at the school district's expense. They said no counseling.

This kid sexually assaulted a younger kid. When we explained to the father what had happened, he went off, screaming "My people are NOT gay!!" We could not make this father understand that this was an aggressive violent act but it didn't necessarily mean the kid is gay.

They had some other kids (not sure how many) and they were taken away. One of their kids died. But they didn't tell us what happened.

So they now have this violent 12 year old whom no one can control and they were just unwilling to listen to any recommendations for getting help for him.

It just broke my heart. In 10 years, this kid could be homeless and on the streets. But with therapy now, he could be just fine.

Talk about bad parenting. :cry:

[bleedingheart]

74. to be honest I think the family should have intervened earlier

all she wanted to do was party and f*ck anything interested in her.

I think her first pregnancy was to hook her first husband and the second and third were just accidents.

I was at a christmas party where she lamented the third pregnancy and wished she had been using birth control...

There are so many family members in our town that any one of her aunts or her mother should have urged her to get sterilized or do something initially..and some of them should have taken the boys in before she damaged them all.

it is hard to raise kids, my son is ocd and has asperger's ..it is a struggle but I do it because I love him and want only the best for him.

[greenbriar]

76. A lot of this is because of that shit law NCLB

everyone is so quick to blame teachers and school when they don't meet AYP, but the truth is, even if all test scores were passed at gigantic levels, attendance could keep a school from making AYP and then the teachers get the blame for "bad" schools

[bleedingheart]

78. and NCLB was initiated because a lot of voters voted for politicians

"who were going to do something" ...and the f*cked up public schools....

Sadly they punish the schools that need help and the well-heeled public schools are just playing along.

People need to think before they vote.

Hell my public school board had a born again retard on the school board who was home schooling his kids, when he went on some radio program and bashed our school district...he was kicked out by republicans and democrats....

meanwhile we have one of the best schools in the county and good to great test scores...

[Fleshdancer]

94. I think the mass meeting was in poor taste

While I certainly think parents hold a responsibility to make sure their kids don't skip school, I think a mass meeting with over 6,000 parents is ridiculous. I think I would personally take the warning more seriously from a harshly worded letter than in a massive crowd with other annoyed parents. Plus schools *should* already be calling home every time a student has an unexcused absence.

As for the parent who said "I can drop my son off at the door, but that doesn't mean he's going to stay at school", well if your son has 8+ unexcused absences before xmas vacation, then its time to park the car, walk him into the building and glue his ass to that chair. Be the parent.

Yes parenting is hard and juggling work and family and everything else can be a nightmare but there is absolutely no excuse to ignore the negative actions of your kid, especially when it can seriously affect her/his future. Furthermore, I think it's insulting to assume that single parents have more problems with truant kids or that they should somehow be given a pass when they do have a school skipper on their hands. There are so many incredible single parents out there who have it just as bad as anyone else who do not let crap like this slide. Truant parents create truant kids. Marital status has nothing to do with it IMO.

On edit: I just realized this meeting was for students who had 8+ unexcused absences LAST school year, not this year. However, we're talking about students between the ages of 12-14. They can't drive. Where the hell are they going? Just staying at home? Walking away from school to wherever? How can this NOT be alarming for the parents?

:wtf: