Shadow's Taxicab reports: Think the military isn't having recruitment issues?

[shadowknows69]

One pretty much tried to recruit me last night. Bwahh ha ha ha ha!!! Long and short of me: I'm 37, and I look it, around 300 lbs soaking wet and generally a long hair hippie type. I was feeling a bit goofy in the cab last night as the insanity is setting in at a more rapid pace and I was letting my customers know it for some reason.So on one fare I joked to one of my more gregarious passengers that I was wondering if the army would take me as long as it was a non-combat, computer or intelligence related position and I'd need to skip basic because I'd more than likely die of a heart attack after 5 push-ups. Lo and behold this guy was a recruiter.

Am I a freaking magnet for this shit or what and I swear on my mother's life it's true. This MFer wanted me to look into joining! Said there were many "support" roles in the Army that didn't "necessarily" mean going to a combat zone. I said good because if I was going to be sent into a fire fight they might as well just let me climb into my own body bag before the battle and save my comrades the trouble of picking me up later. He said there are soldiers who are overweight, not quite as much as me I tried in vain to point out, and with physical limitations that lets them do less than the required PT. Again he failed to hear me state that ANY PT could be fatal.

I said I might actually look into civilian intelligence or strategic logistic work but he of course thought I should join the guard/reserve instead.

Was this guy looking for pure quota filling live bodies or what? Several times he stated it was actually easy for older recruits to get rear echelon jobs because, and I quote, "People aren't exactly lining up to join right now." No shit Sergeant. If you want me we are in considerable trouble. No disrespect to anyone in the military but this guy should be fired for sacrificing our standards. Tip ME!
Shadow out. :hippie:

[marmar]

1. I'm sure it's so much worse than we know....

But in Bush Newsspeak America, we won't really know how bad until it's too late.

[alfredo]

2. The NSA could use a few good men/women.

they recruited some of my friends. They are in their early 60's. Their starting pay would have been in the $50 grand per year range. Not much if you have to live in Fairfax Va.

[shadowknows69]

3. Not so sure I'd be welcomed here at DU

or allowed to surf here lol if I was NSA. I'll tell you what though. The base I work near should have me consult them about their security because the place is swiss cheese.

[alfredo]

9. You'd be too busy to post here anyway. Anyway, it is not the

best thing to announce that you are working for them. The less people know about you the better.


If you see problems there, your local TV station might see a local Emmy dance in their heads. Pass your concerns on to them. Seeing the media poking around may convince the base they better tighten up security. Talk to your representative if the stations do not bite.

[tabasco]

4. No. In fact they are having serious recruiting shortfalls.

Last year was almost 10,000 recruits short and that was just the Army. This year they are keeping the numbers more secret and keep saying thay are meeting their quotas. Maybe they are meeting lowered quotas for PR purposes, but they never made up last years' shortfall and fake numbers don't put warm bodies into foxholes.

[shadowknows69]

5. Now that I think about it

another soldier in my cab asked him about people with felonies getting in and he basically just said it depended on what skills they had. That's a chilling thought. Wonder what skill sets in felons we allow? Arson and murder might come in handy. Remember my last report I met a kid who implied he got paid to kill (in a gang) before joining the army.

[sarge43]

6. Yes, he has a quota to fill and

if he doesn't fill it two cycles in a row, it's so noted on the fitness report. That puts the career on permanent latrine duty. Recruiting is a bitch of a job in the best of times. The main reason anyone volunteers for it is living far from a post or base and top o'line allowances. He's not the one sacrificing the standards; you'll have to go to the top of chain to find that perp.

By the way, he doesn't care if you'd drop dead during basic; that's someone else's headache. He filled the quota; what happens after that -- BFD. More than once we recruit wranglers would say "How the f*ck did that one get through?"

[alfredo]

10. Kinda reminds me of being in middle management.

I lucked out. When I took may induction test in 65. I scored the highest that day. Looking around the room that day, it didn't seem like much of an achievement. Still, it got me a position in intelligence (ASA). It got me a job where I wore my dress shoes, got a TSC clearance, a telegrapher's mill, and an R-390. Life was good. I volunteered for Nam and got sent to Africa. Stayed there until ETS

[Rex]

7. He has more to work with now.

Regulations are lowered and the standard is ignored. It is possible to get into military shape in a few months. Military shape being able to run and carry heavy shit. Shoot maybe even learn how to hit moving things.

Anyone who joins now is going to Iraq or Afghanistan. No one can hide that fact from the public. Everyone knows it.

Join if you want to get shot at.

[elehhhhna]

8. "Am I a freaking magnet for this shit or what..."

Uh, yeah.



k&r

[riderinthestorm]

11. Hey, how did your interview go for the residential counselor position?

I bet you kicked ass!

:hi:

[shadowknows69]

12. Haven't had it yet

Just turning in the application.

[NMDemDist2]

13. keep us posted eh? n/t

[Morgana LaFey]

14. Now THAT is funny. And sad;

And this is hilarious:

if I was going to be sent into a fire fight they might as well just let me climb into my own body bag before the battle and save my comrades the trouble of picking me up later.


A man after my own heart.