You can't put baby Jesus in the manger till Dec. 25th, no kidding.

[Philosoraptor]

A friend of mine is a grounds keeper at a popular local restaurant, and he had to set up the annual nativity scene with life size plastic figurines. He had it all set up and the owner ran out in a tizzy about having the baby Jesus in the manger BEFORE his own birthday. She said people make this grievous mistake all the time and she would not have it and raised quite a fuss apparently.

She also complained loudly about the cats that had taken up residence in the manger's warm straw. "You can't have a cat in a manger, it's sacrilegious, and something has to be done about those cats". The cats are there to keep the rats away.

It got me to thinking that maybe the baby Jesus should be tucked discreetly under Mary's dress until December 25th, to further illustrate the illusion.

So remember, if you see a nativity scene with the baby Jesus lying there freezing in the manger before his own birthday, alert the proprietor immediately under punishment of death.

Happy Winter Solstice!

[meegbear]

1. So no one should show Santa and his reindeer until the 24th at nite?

:shrug:

[Philosoraptor]

3. Correct.

According to the new rules of Christmas. Oh and I forgot, all images of Santa are actually Satan, and should be avoided to prevent rampant beheadings.

[KansDem]

8. So "Santa" is a bastardized form of "Satan?"

Just a couple of letters turned around...

Could be...could be...

edited to add photo of "Satan Claus"

[Poll_Blind]

12. OMG, reminds me of Marty Feldman. n/t

PB

[filer]

19. That's pretty damn scary!

I won't be leaving Him any more cookies and milk.

[Philosoraptor]

22. Check out the 'Scared of Santa' photo gallery here:

http://www.southflorida.com/events/sfl-scaredsanta,0,2245506.photogallery?index=1

[dflprincess]

35. The Church Lady (Dana Carvey) once pointed that out

on SNL. As she said "Who else would want to take attention away from Baby Jesus on his birthday - could it be SATAN?"

[HCE SuiGeneris]

64. I had to re-kick this post as it continues to bust my face up... do not miss reading all posts

[Swamp Rat]

2. LOL!

I could think of a LOT of things to put in the manger before baby jeebus occupies it. ;) :D

And, why not make Mary look like she's 9 months pregnant until the 25th? :D

[Hobarticus]

7. What to do with the Holy Afterbirth?

Yeesh....hope that doesn't end up on the menu.

[Lisa]

9. in fact, they could put her out there in April or May ...

... with no bump showing at all, but (like many expectant mothers at that stage) about to rush off and throw up. And gradually, through the summer, the bump gets larger and larger ...
(Or, if that's too realistic, maybe put a sign in the manger reading "Reserved", like they do with restaurant tables?)

And they could even show the 3 Wise Men clean-shaven, with their beards getting longer as the months pass. Imagine all the attention the display would attract!

[valerief]

4. Some people just don't have enough going on to keep themselves

occupied. That owner needs to break a leg or something so that she can worry about something real instead of where to put a doll.

[savemefromdumbya]

54. ITA

[seabeyond]

5. my friend told me that when i put up my nativity scene a couple weeks ago

i ahd never heard of it before. and here you bring it up. kinda pissed me off. my mom and us kids made this four decades ago. it is special special. made out of ceramic. baby jesus is in a bedding. she said he wasnt suppose to be in until christmas night. just wrong

f* that.

hm....

[radwriter0555]

39. We spent xmas in Mexico in 2002 & none of the big nativity scenes had the baby jesus

in them, and I was scratching my head, wondering if he had been stolen.

But then I realized that being traditionalists rather than banging the christmas commercial drum, of COURSE he wouldn't appear until his birthday! So my friend and I made a bet and I was right! We RAN down to the nativity scene and there he was.... now he was larger than the other figures in the scene, and hence became thereafter dubbed the "hydroencephyletic baby jesus..." as a footnote in family history.

[seabeyond]

46. she was refering to her family in el salvador. though a jab at commercial drum

being the baby jesus in bed prior to bday (which is not when jesus was born so wtf,) was not really necessary. my nativity scene, being hand made all those years ago and holding massive memory is nothing about commercial drum..... thank you

[DRoseDARs]

6. Tell your friend to take the entire display down, every last piece, and to tell the owner to...

...put it back up herself at the anointed time since she's so knowledgeable on the parts of the Bible that dictate proper Christmas displays.

[Poll_Blind]

10. My new patent on a spring-loaded Baby Jesus.

In a nutshell 'cause it's patent pending:

Mary, as you described, would have the Baby Jesus tucked under her dress. A radio receiver in Mary's breast would use the NIST atomic clock to determine the appropriate time and at 12:00:01 on December 25th her entire upper trunk would bend 90 degrees backwards angling the Baby Jesus appropriately. A spring-driven or possibly compressed CO2 piston would then launch the Baby Jesus into the soft matting of the manger to be adored.

I'm still evaluating sping vs. compressed CO2. I'd like to go with CO2 but I don't want the blast of gas which launches the Baby Jesus Payload to lift her dress as it does so.

That would just be tacky.

PB

[Philosoraptor]

16. Now THAT'S practical thinking

[trotsky]

56. "That would just be tacky."

:rofl:

[Poll_Blind]

63. .

;-)

PB

[MidwestTransplant]

11. The better reason for not putting Jesus in the manger before his birthday (if at all)

is that he could be wounded during the war on Christmas.

[Book Lover]

13. I'd hardly call it a grievous mistake, but I used to be the same way

with the creche we had when I was growing up. When we got back from midnight mass, I'd reverently place the Jesus-and-manger figurine in its place. Nice little thing to do IMHO, but hardly worth chewing anyone out over!

[TahitiNut]

14. So, does that mean we should outlaw the 1-piece baby-manger ?

After all, how many creche sets even allow the baby to be removed from the manger? Most mold them as one piece.

(sheesh!) Some people have lost all contact with what's going on in this world. What would a woman in Darfur even think about people who regarded this as some earth-shattering problem?

:eyes:

[HereSince1628]

15. Does that mean the Wise men and angels can't be there until after

X's birthday? And the shepards too. None of them showed up until after the Hallowed Parturition took place, either.

And of course there is the little problem that X's birthday was moved to coincide with the Saturnalia and it's not his real birthday anyway. And even if it was an attempt at the right date, who is right? The church of the pope in Rome or the church of the patriarch in Istanbul?

[CatholicEdHead]

Angels can be put there on Dec 25, Wise Men on Jan 7

but the Three Wise Men have to wait until Jan 7, Epiphany. ;)

http://www.nccbuscc.org/nab/010707.shtml

/only if you want to be accurate to the church year
//you should do whatever you want

[MasonJar]

17. The saddest part of this is that Jesus really wanted "peace on

earth" and Christmas should remind the world that peace and love and concern for others, especially the poor, are the true meaning of this holiday. Does anyone really think that the Christ child would deny the abandoned cats a safe and warm bed? Does anyone think that the great thinker and teacher of peace and love would care whether his image was displayed prior to Christmas day. All I can say is that America gets more un-Christian every single day. We are so unfair and so bigoted and so besotted with our own artificail goodness that it is an embarrassment to live here. Please dems in Congress change the atmosphere in this once great land!

[HCE SuiGeneris]

18. Well a pox on you all for

causing me to spit up my yule log laughing so hard I now need more medication to restore my peaceful Xtian spirit back to the .08 level I am used to.

[Philosoraptor]

20. hilarious sinners and blasphemers all

[yellowcanine]

52. You spit up your Yule Log? I would see a doctor immediately. It is supposed to come out the other

end.

[karlrschneider]

21. Wait, do we go by local time or Bethlehem Standard Time?

Inquiring minds...etc.

:eyes:

[Nickster]

25. Well, that would seem pretty obvious. Of course you would! LoL n/t

[DireStrike]

23. Cats are sacreligious

Remember back in the 1300s when we killed them by the thousands in righteous justice? And then God tested our resolve by sending thousands of rats with fleas carrying the black death, killing a sixth of the population?

Animals in a manger... it's crazy! You might get the idea that Jesus was born in abject poverty, turned away by the wealthy, and forced to be born in a manger...

[Gormy Cuss]

24. I remember that was the way it was observed at homes in my heavily Catholic nbhd

when I was a kid and the wise men didn't show up until January. It was the ritual. However, I don't recall any public displays of the nativity with all the actors present as soon as the display was installed.

The worry about the cat, on the other hand, is just nuts.

[peace13]

26. Talk about taking the Christ out of Christmas!! n/t

[Berry Cool]

27. In my church we were taught that it was silly to have the Wise Men at the Nativity, period

because most likely they didn't get to Jesus until he was about two years old, and that was why at least one of the Gospels refers to them coming into a "house" and seeing the "child" as opposed to coming into a "stable" and seeing a "baby." In other words, they caught up with him long after he left Bethlehem.

We were also taught that it was only tradition and legend that said that there were "three" of them (could have been as few as two, or many more), that they were kings (the Bible never describes them as kings), that they were white, black and Asian (the Bible says nothing about their ethnicity) or that they had the names given to them by that tradition and legend (Caspar, Melchior, Balthazar). All that stuff came along later, during the Middle Ages.

So in essence, we were told, there's no point to having wise men in your nativity scene at all.

[Generic Other]

28. They're freaking plastic from Walmart for chrissake! LOL

I wonder what she'd do if you put the babe on a cross?

[cassiepriam]

29. Duh, everyone knows baby Jesus doesn't go in the manger

til Christmas day....

At least that is how the nuns ran the nativity scene
when I was in school.

[nosmokes]

30. me, i think the fact they celebrate the birth of a jewish carpenter/fisherman

simply shows how really open-minded christians truly are. no? oh well.

[yurbud]

31. cats are sacrilegious?

[Der Blaue Engel]

32. Cats are Satan's minions, didn't you know?

Well, at least one of mine is (Neo). But I'll take my little minion over a plastic baby Jesus any day.

[JVS]

41. Cats are just plain evil. For them to take Jesus' crib is sacreligious

[ComerPerro]

33. maybe they shouldn't put the fucking manger out in fucking October either

[hedgehog]

34. Did anyone notice that it was the owner of the restaurant making the

complaint? Certainly she has the right to tell an employee how she wants it set up. Personally, I think cats nesting in the straw would add a nice touch, but that's me.

The placement of Jesus in the manger after Midnight Mass is a cherished custom in many Catholic homes. I had a friend whose uncle placed the Three Wise Men in the back bedroom on Christmas and slowly moved them through the house until they arrived at the stable January 6! Some of us even are fighting a losing battle to celebrate Christmas at Christmas and not during Advent. We don't decorate until the last minute and keep the tree up until after the Epiphany January 6. The current American Christmas season runs Thanksgiving to Christmas. More and more people have that tree checked out on the curb December 26. Oddly enough, many churches now place their Nativity out at Thanksgiving, so it's a case of churches bowing to the secular calender.

[Philosoraptor]

36. So it's a Catholic thing.

Shows what I know, I don't get out much. I'd never heard of it till the other day.

To me it looks like the winter festivities begin on Halloween now, and last until the new year.

[Bridget Burke]

43. Yes, that's the old Catholic custom.

The four weeks before Christmas are Advent--sort of a mini-Lent. Some celebrations happen during that season--but you aren't supposed to get bored with Christmas too soon. After midnight mass the baby Jesus appears; then, the 12 days of Christmas begin. Epiphany is "Twelfth Night"--the traditional date for celebrating the 3 Wise Men. (Of course, the Gospels indicate they were Persian Astrologers. But I like the Medieval Multicultural Three Kings.) Some don't add them to the creche until then.

After 12th Night, Carnaval begins. In Texas, Louisiana Catholics hang out the Mardi Gras flag when they take down the Nativity Scene. And serve up the King Cakes.

But, surely, cats are OK? Didn't they have barn cats back then?

[tenshi816]

37. Heh. My dad has a life-size nativity scene

that he erects in his big ol' front yard every Christmas season and he never puts the baby Jesus in the manger until Christmas day either, but it's for a different reason than the woman in your post. In the past, every time Dad has put the baby Jesus into the scene, he wakes up the next day to discover someone has stolen it (or maybe it's being raptured). My stepmother blames it on drunken University of Georgia frat boys.

[Philosoraptor]

38. Stealing baby Jesus. tsk tsk tsk

Today's lost youth, I swear.

[donheld]

40. "baby Jesus should be tucked discreetly under Mary's dress until December 25th"

Then after Dec 25th blood should be dripping down Mary's legs from the labor and birth process she went through.

[hedgehog]

59. That would be appropriate the day all baby pictures show such scenes.

Oddly enough, I've never seen that in family photo albums of Mom with the new baby.

[lectrobyte]

42. If I saw the baby-Jesus-less manger, I would assume someone had

borrowed it for a prank. I've never heard of this belief before, the owner sounds strange.

[Bridget Burke]

44. Not strange, just Catholic.

Francis of Assisi invented the "Nativity scene." Many considered him "strange."

[Philosoraptor]

45. Hmmm, what's the background story there?

Not being Catholic, I'm curious as to why he did this? Isn't it almost like idolatry?

[Bridget Burke]

47. Francis wanted The People to understand the story.

He used living creatures & arranged everything outside. Of course many love to cry "Idolatry"!

Ian Paisley vs. the Man-Worshippers

Overview: One of DPI's hundreds of Undercover Jesuit-Trained Operatives and Paid Papist Informants infiltrating the Belfast, Northern Ireland-based organization of militant Protestant leader Ian Paisley has just passed along the following document to DPI.

It announces Paisley's new grassroots movement to convince the British government to outlaw the practice of "harbor idolatrous statues and icons" in all churches in all areas under British rule, especially "Romish" churches. As the document below reveals, Paisley opposes all forms of "human-worship" and "idolatrous personality cults focusing on mere men rather than God."

by The Curmudgeon
Rev. Dr. Ian Paisley, MP, Denounces Papist Idolatry

BELFAST -- Speaking at the Paisley Podium within the Paisley Lecture Hall of the new Paisley Jubilee Complex, renowned Reformed Protestant crusader Dr. Ian Paisley boldly attacked "idolatrous Popery's threat to the supremacy of Christ."

Righteously indignant that the British government still permits Romish churches to harbor idolatrous statues and icons, Dr. Paisley called upon the entire congregation of Paisley Free Presbyterian Church to send a stirring message to Parliament: "This abominable saint-worship takes away from the glory due to Christ alone!"

As perhaps the only true Reformed Protestants on the planet, Dr. Paisley noted, "we will never set up idolatrous personality cults focusing on mere men rather than God. This is one of the historic hallmarks of our faith here in the Paisleyite tradition!"

www.crowhill.net/journeyman/Vol1No3/paisley.html

I lost faith in the Church years ago, but still have faith in Art. (And a taste for satire.)

[Philosoraptor]

49. And NO images of Muhammed either, especially cartoons.

So many rules and regs., someone needs to list them all so we don't have to fall into sin.

[lectrobyte]

55. Thanks, I'd never noticed that before.

[yurbud]

48. won't freepers say this proves you're trying to take the Christ out of Christmas?

[Canuckistanian]

50. Baby Jesus etiquette must be SO complex

Someone should write a "Nativity Scenes for Religiously Insane Dummies".

[yellowcanine]

51. Tell her WE DON'T KNOW THE ACTUAL DAY so we need to set the manger up from Thanksgiving to

January 1 just to be safe. Even better, we should just leave it up al1 the time. Watch her try to get her brain around that one.

[porphyrian]

53. I didn't know there was a manger police.

I thought you could do whatever the fuck you wanted on your property as long as you weren't breaking any laws.

[Bridget Burke]

57. The owner was the one who removed The Baby Jesus....

She just didn't explain things to the groundskeeper. Who, apparently was NOT a Mexican!

[porphyrian]

58. So the owner is a manger cop who hates Mexicans?

Why do they get to say what other people do on their property?

[Bridget Burke]

60. No, a Mexican groundskeeper would have understood.....

Why the owner wanted to delay the Baby Jesus until Christmas.

[porphyrian]

61. Yeah, because kids steal the baby Jesus.

Some dorm rooms have a nursery of them.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

67. Dorm rooms filled to the ceiling with

plastic baby jeebus's and cats frantically looking for straw. This surely will bring the rapture. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Left Is Write]

62. Better not put any animal feed in the manger either!

That would be even more sacrilegious than cats.

[kestrel91316]

65. Nope. Can't have those accursed CATS in the manger 'cause

we all know how they'll SUCK THE BABY JESUS'S BREATH AWAY and kill him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HughBeaumont]

66. Wow, SOMEone doesn't get out much.

I only wish I had something THAT insignificant to worry about. Oh wait, no I don't.

[noonwitch]

68. Get Mattel to work on this, they managed to make the pregnant Barbie

Actually, it was Midge, and she actually could give birth to the baby doll.

Mattell should be able to design a Virgin Mary statue with the same feature.

[baby_mouse]

69. Is there NOTHING these people won't do to poison their own festival?

Bizarre! BIZARRE!

Christmas, that festival famous for arguments and stress and nit-picking and being nasty to anyone else who's celebrating a different holiday...

[tammywammy]

70. In the neighborhood where I grew up

There were quite a few families with nativity scenes in their yards. Most of them never had Jesus out until Christmas Day. I always assumed that they put him out Christmas Eve after getting home from midnight Mass/service.

My family had a nice ceramic nativity, but we put Jesus out with all the decorations, we didn't wait until Christmas Day.

Oh and one family had a woodened nativity scene in their front yard. The Mary was pregnant, until Christmas Day. During the night they put out an unpregnant Mary and placed Jesus in the manger.

[HughMoran]

71. I'll have to see if others know about this

I've never heard of this.